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 Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:04 pm
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ter_squirrel LLawliet17 Ok to be honest I have been where she was myself. I know what shes feeling and let me tell you, its for attention and to keep you.
If she has to say "Im gonna commit suicide tonight if you dont choose" then she doesnt love you. Because if someone loves you theyd let you go even if it made them misserable.
And if she has to more or less 'bribe' you with her life it is NOT love from her.
Her vision is clouded and she doesnt see another way to keep you. I honestly believe that she is afraid of loosing you as a friend so she told herself that the love she has is relationship love not friendship love.
If I'm right on this then you need to let her know that no matter what youll be there for her regardless of who your with or what happens. That youll always be her friend, but that what you feel is not love but best friendship.
I hope this helps you. I feel your frustration with the delima thanku! i have been thinking that she was doing this just for attention for awhile now, but i didn't want to seem like a B**** and say it...but at least soemone agrees with me....and after i stressed the fact that she can NOT threaten suicide unless she knows for a fact that she WILL do it, she stopped threatening suicide, but that doesn't change the fact that she thinks about it....but anyways, i stood my ground and told her that she either had to wait and see where things take us, or she would be left with nothing, i told her i didn't want our friendship to break off, and i didn't want her to go suicide and what not...the decision is hers now....she has to decide whether she can handle just being friends, or break it off completely and give up on love.....and as of now she is depressed, and talking to a relative who is a therapist...so hopefully she can think things through....
Well I'm very glad to have helped (If I did lol)
I also wanted to ask if she personly says that she is depressed or if she was actually diagnosed? or if its just you shes saying it to? |
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:15 pm
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LLawliet17 ter_squirrel LLawliet17 Ok to be honest I have been where she was myself. I know what shes feeling and let me tell you, its for attention and to keep you.
If she has to say "Im gonna commit suicide tonight if you dont choose" then she doesnt love you. Because if someone loves you theyd let you go even if it made them misserable.
And if she has to more or less 'bribe' you with her life it is NOT love from her.
Her vision is clouded and she doesnt see another way to keep you. I honestly believe that she is afraid of loosing you as a friend so she told herself that the love she has is relationship love not friendship love.
If I'm right on this then you need to let her know that no matter what youll be there for her regardless of who your with or what happens. That youll always be her friend, but that what you feel is not love but best friendship.
I hope this helps you. I feel your frustration with the delima thanku! i have been thinking that she was doing this just for attention for awhile now, but i didn't want to seem like a B**** and say it...but at least soemone agrees with me....and after i stressed the fact that she can NOT threaten suicide unless she knows for a fact that she WILL do it, she stopped threatening suicide, but that doesn't change the fact that she thinks about it....but anyways, i stood my ground and told her that she either had to wait and see where things take us, or she would be left with nothing, i told her i didn't want our friendship to break off, and i didn't want her to go suicide and what not...the decision is hers now....she has to decide whether she can handle just being friends, or break it off completely and give up on love.....and as of now she is depressed, and talking to a relative who is a therapist...so hopefully she can think things through.... Well I'm very glad to have helped (If I did lol) I also wanted to ask if she personly says that she is depressed or if she was actually diagnosed? or if its just you shes saying it to?
well, technically, all of this happened b4 i saw ur comment, but it did give me something to say instead of sounding stupid in the conversation...lol, but she hasn't actually been diagnosed with depression, but then again, niether have i...but i still count it as depression becuz it shows alot of the symptoms, and same with her...and ik what it's like to be suicidal and all of that, so i understand what she was going through, the only difference was when i was suicidal, i had nobody who understood, and she's suicidal, and i understand, so obviously she's gonna be more open about it than i was... |
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:20 pm
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ter_squirrel LLawliet17 ter_squirrel LLawliet17 Ok to be honest I have been where she was myself. I know what shes feeling and let me tell you, its for attention and to keep you.
If she has to say "Im gonna commit suicide tonight if you dont choose" then she doesnt love you. Because if someone loves you theyd let you go even if it made them misserable.
And if she has to more or less 'bribe' you with her life it is NOT love from her.
Her vision is clouded and she doesnt see another way to keep you. I honestly believe that she is afraid of loosing you as a friend so she told herself that the love she has is relationship love not friendship love.
If I'm right on this then you need to let her know that no matter what youll be there for her regardless of who your with or what happens. That youll always be her friend, but that what you feel is not love but best friendship.
I hope this helps you. I feel your frustration with the delima thanku! i have been thinking that she was doing this just for attention for awhile now, but i didn't want to seem like a B**** and say it...but at least soemone agrees with me....and after i stressed the fact that she can NOT threaten suicide unless she knows for a fact that she WILL do it, she stopped threatening suicide, but that doesn't change the fact that she thinks about it....but anyways, i stood my ground and told her that she either had to wait and see where things take us, or she would be left with nothing, i told her i didn't want our friendship to break off, and i didn't want her to go suicide and what not...the decision is hers now....she has to decide whether she can handle just being friends, or break it off completely and give up on love.....and as of now she is depressed, and talking to a relative who is a therapist...so hopefully she can think things through.... Well I'm very glad to have helped (If I did lol) I also wanted to ask if she personly says that she is depressed or if she was actually diagnosed? or if its just you shes saying it to? well, technically, all of this happened b4 i saw ur comment, but it did give me something to say instead of sounding stupid in the conversation...lol, but she hasn't actually been diagnosed with depression, but then again, niether have i...but i still count it as depression becuz it shows alot of the symptoms, and same with her...and ik what it's like to be suicidal and all of that, so i understand what she was going through, the only difference was when i was suicidal, i had nobody who understood, and she's suicidal, and i understand, so obviously she's gonna be more open about it than i was...
Mmm true that. Well either way Im glad that you were able to get out what you needed to her and all. I hope the rest goes well too. smile |
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:25 pm
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LLawliet17 ter_squirrel LLawliet17 ter_squirrel LLawliet17 Ok to be honest I have been where she was myself. I know what shes feeling and let me tell you, its for attention and to keep you.
If she has to say "Im gonna commit suicide tonight if you dont choose" then she doesnt love you. Because if someone loves you theyd let you go even if it made them misserable.
And if she has to more or less 'bribe' you with her life it is NOT love from her.
Her vision is clouded and she doesnt see another way to keep you. I honestly believe that she is afraid of loosing you as a friend so she told herself that the love she has is relationship love not friendship love.
If I'm right on this then you need to let her know that no matter what youll be there for her regardless of who your with or what happens. That youll always be her friend, but that what you feel is not love but best friendship.
I hope this helps you. I feel your frustration with the delima thanku! i have been thinking that she was doing this just for attention for awhile now, but i didn't want to seem like a B**** and say it...but at least soemone agrees with me....and after i stressed the fact that she can NOT threaten suicide unless she knows for a fact that she WILL do it, she stopped threatening suicide, but that doesn't change the fact that she thinks about it....but anyways, i stood my ground and told her that she either had to wait and see where things take us, or she would be left with nothing, i told her i didn't want our friendship to break off, and i didn't want her to go suicide and what not...the decision is hers now....she has to decide whether she can handle just being friends, or break it off completely and give up on love.....and as of now she is depressed, and talking to a relative who is a therapist...so hopefully she can think things through.... Well I'm very glad to have helped (If I did lol) I also wanted to ask if she personly says that she is depressed or if she was actually diagnosed? or if its just you shes saying it to? well, technically, all of this happened b4 i saw ur comment, but it did give me something to say instead of sounding stupid in the conversation...lol, but she hasn't actually been diagnosed with depression, but then again, niether have i...but i still count it as depression becuz it shows alot of the symptoms, and same with her...and ik what it's like to be suicidal and all of that, so i understand what she was going through, the only difference was when i was suicidal, i had nobody who understood, and she's suicidal, and i understand, so obviously she's gonna be more open about it than i was... Mmm true that. Well either way Im glad that you were able to get out what you needed to her and all. I hope the rest goes well too. smile
yeah, me too, thnx a lot for the advice everyone!!! ~there rlly should be an advice subforum on here considering all the drama that happens in my life, and this is the only place i'm safe talking about it...<=( lol♥ |
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:30 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:45 pm
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Thedevilmaster
Well I have some knowledge, experience and some personal opinions on this.
Facts:
You should always take it seriously when someone talks about suicide (this may conflict with my opinions). You should tell someone like an adult who may be able to help (pastor, teacher, etc.) Many of the other facts have been said like having her get help and what not.
Exp:
It's natural for people to feel depressed and think about suicide. I've thought about it hundreds of times. The people who make the biggest fuss about it are usually not going to commit suicide and just want attention.
Opinion:
From the sound of her threatening about it so much it would seem like she just want's the attention (which is the conclusion you've come to). If someone wants to put up that much fuss about it and says "I'm going to kill my self if you break up with me" then, since it's probably for attention (and I'm not going to feed that attention) I (personally) would say "Ok go kill your self then" (You should never encourage them but that's where my opinion conflicts) because if they here that they have 2 choices, don't do it and realize that what they are doing isn't going to work or the kill themselves and a person who is that depressed is a drag on the community and is a worthless person and deserves there fate.
well, normally i wouldn't have fed that attention of suicidal threats, cuz ik what it's like to be suicidal, and i did NOT threaten suicide constantly, i toughed it out until my life finaly got better....but anyways, she was completely open about it, and the fact that she has always been so reliant on everybody else (her mom babies her ALL the time) that somehwat changed my opinion about how i should handle the situation...also, the fact that she was actually about to faint of blood loss becuz of the stab wounds she gave herself awhile ago....and the fact that her life honestly doesn't have much going for her to begn with...she has hepatitis at age 15, niether one of her divorced parents has her trust, she's been out of school so long she doesn't rly have any friends...and all this other crap...and to be honest...i prolly would've been seriously considering suicide in her situation too....but anyways, that's what made me think differently and actually try to stop her.... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 6:09 pm
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ter_squirrel okay...well...i basically told her that becuz she was so depressed i was breaking up with her...well, it turns out that day she had apparently gotten over the depression to be with me....then she completely blew off the whole breaking up part of the discussion cuz i was too tired to think straight when the issue came up.... plus, she said she wasn't acting like her normal self becuz she was depressed....well, today another issue came up...the guy i like was telling ppl that we were in a relationship, just to see what ppl would say, and i never said anything for(even though i wanted to) or against it....now she's saying i have to choose, or she WILL suicide tonight...and she's planning on it...i'm trying to tell her that everytime she says "this is the real me, this is the real me, this is the real me..." and then gives an excuse y it wasn't the real her...im getting so pissed at her right now as we're discussing this online...and i suggested help, but she refused...and she said that she's already planning suicide again tonight becuz of all this....then the conversation went further and she said she was never rlly going to suicide and through a very intense and very angry conversation with her....she said that she never was going to go suicide and that she just says stuff cuz she gets overemotional sometimes...idk if i should rlly believe her or not...but i told her i trusted her for now, and that this was her absolute last warning, if she ever betrays my trust again then i would never forgive her....as for my relationship status....that has yet to be determined.....thnku all for all ur help...i hope i used ur advice well, and i didn't make the wrong decision by doing this....anything else u'd like to say?
yoh,shes not done,u cant blow off feelings like that
sounds sort of fake a little
saying taht u dont like the depression and ti magically stops over night
if she even remotely "loves" you then that would have never happened
she probably would have never even decided to tell u things taht would be i dont know....not good for the ear?
why would that person ever put u on the spot like that
okay maybe plan ....Q
tell her that
how is it that "you came over the depression so fast all of a sudden so that you can keep me,now giving me a slight idea that you could have stopped before but choose to be that way
as if u choose ur feelings"'
dont go to far into it |
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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 6:24 pm
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axl the azn boi ter_squirrel okay...well...i basically told her that becuz she was so depressed i was breaking up with her...well, it turns out that day she had apparently gotten over the depression to be with me....then she completely blew off the whole breaking up part of the discussion cuz i was too tired to think straight when the issue came up.... plus, she said she wasn't acting like her normal self becuz she was depressed....well, today another issue came up...the guy i like was telling ppl that we were in a relationship, just to see what ppl would say, and i never said anything for(even though i wanted to) or against it....now she's saying i have to choose, or she WILL suicide tonight...and she's planning on it...i'm trying to tell her that everytime she says "this is the real me, this is the real me, this is the real me..." and then gives an excuse y it wasn't the real her...im getting so pissed at her right now as we're discussing this online...and i suggested help, but she refused...and she said that she's already planning suicide again tonight becuz of all this....then the conversation went further and she said she was never rlly going to suicide and through a very intense and very angry conversation with her....she said that she never was going to go suicide and that she just says stuff cuz she gets overemotional sometimes...idk if i should rlly believe her or not...but i told her i trusted her for now, and that this was her absolute last warning, if she ever betrays my trust again then i would never forgive her....as for my relationship status....that has yet to be determined.....thnku all for all ur help...i hope i used ur advice well, and i didn't make the wrong decision by doing this....anything else u'd like to say? yoh,shes not done,u cant blow off feelings like that sounds sort of fake a little saying taht u dont like the depression and ti magically stops over night if she even remotely "loves" you then that would have never happened she probably would have never even decided to tell u things taht would be i dont know....not good for the ear? why would that person ever put u on the spot like that okay maybe plan ....Q tell her that how is it that "you came over the depression so fast all of a sudden so that you can keep me,now giving me a slight idea that you could have stopped before but choose to be that way as if u choose ur feelings"' dont go to far into it
hm, u have a RLLY good point here...but the issue has blown over, i'll keep that in mind for fututre reference, ro even if i just feel like arguing with her about something...lol, but only if it's soemthing serious... |
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Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 10:35 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:02 pm
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 6:19 am
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