Reality and Fantasy: Imaginations through life

[Reglare Excile]

I apologize for the lack of originality, but I just can't seem to write anything that is quite original in any sense. Some of the parts of the storyline are made to be unoriginal though, mainly the fairy tale. Also, if the grammar seems twisted it is because of the style I use. Other chapters shall come out soon once I get my thoughts together.



Prologue:

"What a night it was everybody knew. No wars, no work, no rivalries, and no single argument. Everything was of prosperity, and joy as a kingdom celebrated their princess's first whole year in this world. Everything was supposed to be fine then as everyone was near the castle to celebrate with their very humble king, but not one was wise enough to guess that an old memory was to come back. As the king and his people enjoyed themselves with what they prepared for the late queen's daughter and his, the winds blew stronger through windows and doors. Someone whom the king have forgotten came back.

It was a witch who came, a woman whom the king once loved but he no longer does. Treachery, the king committed towards this woman, but not at all does one of his people knew. They knew of the king and this witch's love, but when the king married another woman they thought it was so that wars will end and prosperity shall come from all corners of this world.

Still the witch had come to face whom she'd not faced for at least 5 years when they were just persons of no real responsibilities. She was still in training from a master of sorcery then so that she would have become a sorceress, but now she came came back because of the king's broken promise. As she looked at the child whom the servants were then hiding as they felt her rage, the king quickly stood to make this woman rush not to dark conclusions.

Such heartless he acted, he asked why she came even though he was quite aware. The witch remained silent for a few more seconds, collecting patience so that she wouldn't curse this man she still loved. Still, heartless he was towards this woman as he wanted her presence gone. The witch was now angered but she was still able to control herself and quickly asked for the princess in exchange for her forgiveness on this king's broken vow. The knights then tried to strike her but they were useless against her magic, and they all fell motionless but still alive.

The witch had made her mind then, since it was love that was taken away from her it shall be love that that shall be the curse. It was the child whom received her rage and the princess was cursed, if needed it shall be forever. All the men in this world will love her love her more than anything else, although the witch still had a good heart and chanted that men who shall be able to love another woman shall be free from this powerful curse. She then left as everything was now in devastation.

The kingdom is still there but the princess was nowhere near. She was now sealed in a desolated castle by her father's order so that she can still be safe from this war that the witch triggered and so that lesser men shall hear the curse's voice. She stayed there for 16 years, as she was guarded by a dragon which destroys every man who wanted this princess." an old man read from a book. This man was actually of nothing ordinary, he was a guardian of a realm where each fantasy is fulfilled, evil or not, and this story is a cause of chaos. Other than this, this man knew that the author needs help, not with ending this story but keeping the author's life in reality.  

[Fiat Lux Aeterna]

Whoah... yeah, that's some intensely twisted grammar! eek I can't really understand exactly what each sentence is saying individually, but I can tell what the whole thing is about. Maybe you could post a version with regular American grammar for those of us who have a little bit of a struggle understanding this, please sweatdrop ?  

[Reglare Excile]

@Fiat Lux Aeterna
Okay. That'll be actually be a little hard for me though.  

[Kasi Karra]

ooo, I liked it. It did remind me a little of Sleeping Beauty in the beginning, but I liked the twist of the curse and it all.

I agree with Lux, that you're sense of grammar is a little hard to understand at times, but at the same time I think it adds something to the story.

I also liked how you described the situation and what was going on instead of using real dialogue and how you gave us enough detail to tell what is going on, but left plenty up to the imagination.

Some one can correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that the paragraphs need to start with quotation marks to remind the reader that someone is still saying this.

Not to rush you or anything, but I hope that you get your thoughts organized soon so that I can read more smile  

[Reglare Excile]

@Kasi Karra

Thank you for the appreciation. I shall then have my second chapter written with better words.  

[Priestess of Neptune]

If a single character's dialogue is lengthier than the paragraph it begins in, the following paragraph(s) of dialogue should not begin with (a) quotation mark(s). An ending quotation mark ought to still be placed at the end of the quotation, however.

I am as of yet undecided upon the grammatical structure. So long as you maintain the rules of grammar which you have created, consistently, no problems should arise; however, it becomes increasingly difficult to critique or make edits when the rules of said grammar are arcane or foreign to those attempting the feat.  

[Cannibal Horsey]

I like it! The style and grammar are different from the norm, but as long as they are maintained in this vein you shouldn't have any problems! Good Luck!