Tips?(:

[Enchanted Seduction]

So, I have a problem with detail in my short stories. I use good adjectives, but it just doesn't sound good = Could someone give me tips to be more descriptive?  

[Cognitive Atrophy]

Similies and metaphors.  

[Enchanted Seduction]

Smilies?...
I knew metaphors were good  

[Priestess of Sekhmet]

The thing with description is it's hard to explain. Adjectives are good, of course and but similes and metaphors will make or break a story.

Here's a few examples.

Adjective:
Her smile was beautiful and brilliant.

Simile:
Her smile was the sun, the moon, and all those other cliches.

Metaphor:
Her smile was as beautiful as a man's first meal out of captivity, as beautiful as the wife the war hero thought he'd never see again.  

[Cognitive Atrophy]

Priestess of Sekhmet

The thing with description is it's hard to explain. Adjectives are good, of course and but similes and metaphors will make or break a story.

Here's a few examples.

Adjective:
Her smile was beautiful and brilliant.

Simile:
Her smile was the sun, the moon, and all those other cliches.

Metaphor:
Her smile was as beautiful as a man's first meal out of captivity, as beautiful as the wife the war hero thought he'd never see again.

You have similes and metaphors backwards. Metaphors are saying that something IS something else. Similes say that something is LIKE or AS something else.

Simile: She is like a flower

Metaphor: She is a flower