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 Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 10:13 am
Shinigami Appearance:
Short, somewhat thin, 5'3" with long blue hair but . Hazel eyes. and a some what dark skin complexion.
Full Name:Nekico i-gara Shun
Actual Age:145
Appearance Age: Looks like a small child looking boy. very young for is age.
Date of Birth:October 24, 1865
Ethnicity/Origin:Native American and French
Gender:male
Height:5ft 3in
Weight:103lb
Division:I will like to be in 7
Seat/ Rank:
(Must apply for Seat or Rank)
I will like to be a LT
Apperance with non shinigami form
He normally wears like rocker cloths. with the neck scarfs and all.
Zanpakuto Info.: My zanpakutou was passed down to me from my father. But over the years my zanpaktou over took it.
Zanpakuto Form: it is the form of a flaming Eagle.
Zanpakuto Name and Spirit type:The name is Hishou Washi(Soaring Eagle) and it is a fire based zanpakutou.
Zanpakuto Sealed Appearance:a regular zanpaktou. the hilt is yellow-orange color and the guard is circular with three pint bending inward towards the blade
Zanpakuto Released Appearance:
the guard and hilt stays the same. The blade straightens out into a ninjato looking sword with a deep groove up the middle.
Release Command:
Fly close to the sun!!
Baknai:
(must be a captain or Vice Captain)
Bankai Appearance:
Bankai Ability/ Attacks:
Abilities:
My shikai abilities is that my zanpakutou is able to create fire from the blade its self.
Attack no. 1:Sun Circle- by stabbing my sword into the ground a stream of fire is released at my opponent creating a circle around them. By ending the stream of fire a explosion happens within the circle.
Attack no. 2-Sun Bird- By swinging my zanpaktou and a blast of fire is released to attack my opponent.
Attack no. 3- Sun Blade-This attack only work if my blade breaks. Out of the shatter or broken pieces of my zanpakutou a flame extends to hit my opponent.
Extra Skills:
Kidou, hand-to-hand,and shunpo
Personality:
Very happy, easy going person.
Hobbies/ and likes:
Singing, training, sleeping.
Personal Skills and Abilites:
Foresight.
Favorite Drink/Food:
Sake and Ramen
Hates:
People who shed blood for no reason at all.
Bio History:
Well I died at a very young age in the real world. I died of smallpox. When i came to the Soul Society i meet up with my father and he raised me ever since. one night I was sleeping and I woke up and my dad was really hot. Like he was on fire but i wasn't. I went to go and pick up a rag to wipe off his sweat and the rag was hot to. A shinigami came to me and said i must go to the academy or my father will die. So i did. A grew a bit since then but not much.
Biography
Relatives:
Ryo Shun- My father. Died when i was 4 in the real world due to a car accident.
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:47 am
I think your problem, aside from having an anorexic character with little description, is that you have what seems to be a wind-based Zanpakuto, something that has been told many times now not to be used. You also have a four-sentence character Biography. That's much too small to even consider accepting - let alone as a Lieutenant.
These are a few problems, among others, that I recommend you fix to increase your chance to be accepted.
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:51 pm
Also, you did not use the profile skeleton/format provided in the Character Profiles thread.
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:06 pm
Okay I fixed it again. Thank you for the help. Sorry about all this.
Shinigami Appearance:
The things that I wear are very extravagant.
This the formal/combat.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/cool anime boys/fallen_angel_now_demon/cool anime boys/Ice_Fire_by_heise.jpg?o=6
And the cloths in this picture would be casual.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/cool anime pics/SynHatake/Syns pics/aidou-kun.jpg?o=164
Full Name:Nekico i-gara Shun
Actual Age:145
Appearance Age: My character appears to be 4 years of age. But since he's been in the Soul Society for some time now he acts like a adult but get treated like a kid.
Date of Birth:October 24, 1865
Ethnicity/Origin:Native American and French
Gender:male
Height:3ft 2in.
Weight:58lb
Division:I will like to be in 7
Seat/ Rank:
(Must apply for Seat or Rank)
I will like to be a LT
Appearance with non shinigami form
here's a picture of my geigi.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/cool anime pics/ichigo_enjeru_tsubasa/Cool Random Anime Pics/cal8.jpg?o=32
Zanpakuto Info.: My zanpakutou was passed down to me from my father. But over the years my zanpaktou over took it.
Zanpakuto Form: it is the form of a flaming Eagle.
Zanpakuto Name and Spirit type:The name is Hishou Washi(Soaring Eagle) and it is a fire based zanpakutou.
Zanpakuto Sealed Appearance:a regular zanpaktou. the hilt is yellow-orange color and the guard is circular with three pint bending inward towards the blade
Zanpakuto Released Appearance:
the guard and hilt stays the same. The blade straightens out into a ninjato looking sword with a deep groove up the middle.
Release Command:
Fly close to the sun!!
Baknai:
(must be a captain or Vice Captain)
Bankai Appearance:
Bankai Ability/ Attacks:
Abilities:
My shikai abilities is that my zanpakutou is able to create fire from the blade its self.
Attack no. 1:Sun Circle- by stabbing my sword into the ground a stream of fire is released at my opponent creating a circle around them. By ending the stream of fire a explosion happens within the circle.
Attack no. 2-Sun Bird- By swinging my zanpaktou and a blast of fire is released to attack my opponent.
Attack no. 3- Sun Blade-This attack only work if my blade breaks. Out of the shatter or broken pieces of my zanpakutou a flame extends to hit my opponent.
Extra Skills:
Kidou, hand-to-hand,and shunpo
Personality:
Very happy, easy going person.
Hobbies/ and likes:
Singing, training, sleeping.
Personal Skills and Abilites:
Foresight.
Favorite Drink/Food:
Sake and Ramen
Hates:
People who shed blood for no reason at all.
Bio History:
Well I died at a very young age in the real world. I died of smallpox. When i came to the Soul Society i meet up with my father and he raised me ever since. one night I was sleeping and I woke up and my dad was really hot. Like he was on fire but i wasn't. I went to go and pick up a rag to wipe off his sweat and the rag was hot to. A shinigami came to me and said i must go to the academy or my father will die. So i did. A grew a bit since then but not much.
When I started going to the shinigami Academy I had to jump through hoops and prove myself. Because i looked like a 4 year old I was horribly looked down upon. I had to even prove to myself that I was just as good as the "adults". Because of the Academy I had to grew up "mentally" and mature fast to keep up with everyone else.
Biography
Relatives:
Ryo Shun- My father. Died when i was 4 in the real world due to a car accident.
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Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:34 am
You could have just edited your first profile, instead of quoting it, and posting the new one under it. More to the point, you still need more detail. 1-2 paragraphs is the minimum for the bio, without that you'll never be accepted, much less as a lieutenant. My advice is to look at existing, accepted, profiles in the archives, from there you can get a good idea about what we want in the guild. One last thing, now is realy not the best time to have a profile with little detail (not that any time is...) because most of the people who can accept a profile are very ticked off with new members using so little writing during the RP, and their probably going to be much more strict on poor example of profiles, so you should fix this one as soon as possible.
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Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:07 am
Nekico, I’m sorry to say that your profile is not sufficient enough, ‘Even after you re doing it’ , for the position as lieutenant. Your character is hardly finished and you failed to even read the rules or use the guilds profile skeleton in the first place. I will leave this whole decision up to the other captains. I refuse to say anymore.
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Kasumi Jaegerjaquez Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:41 am
The Cap'n's right: it definitely isn't sufficient. I'm guessing I could help direct you to making a complete profile, but I'm not doing it for you. Keep in mind that the more you fail to meet the standards here, the less likely you'll be able to meet the standards Role-Playing with a majority of us.
Since I can't seem to find any examples of your Role-Playing ability, this might be tough to work with.
=
We'll work on three sections that need work at a time, then move on to others when we're finished there.
Starting from the top, our first order of business... The Shinigami Appearance is very short. If it's going to be that short in writing, it might as well be a picture. Also, you don't need "short" and "5'3"" in your description like that. You could reserve the technical detail of height in the Height area. In addition to you character's actual physical appearance, this section also wants to know what kind of clothing your character would wear in the Seireitei. You can decide to divide it for different wardrobes for different occasions, or make one static set of clothing, like every* animated show. For example, your character might have formal wear, casual wear, and combat wear. Any modification of these three, whether you include more or exclude any is solely up to you.
Next is the Appearance Age - this merely refers to what age your character appears to be. Technically, everyone in Seireitei looks young for their age because they're aging slower than those that are still alive. Since your character's age is 145, their appearance age could range from 2 to 15 (since you specifically state that he died at a young age). Obviously, two would be unrealistic, because your height is five feet, three inches, much to tall for the average two-year-old. In fact, eight I think would still be too young, of course unless they grew up real fast, then just didn't grow any more that that.
Lastly (at least for this time), you need to work on your Appearance with Non-Shinigami Form (pretty much, your Gigai appearance). Some Shinigami prefer to have subtle differences in their appearance compared to that of their Gigai, others have an exact replica. That's all based on preference. The biggest problem here is that you describe this appearance using a stereotypical genre of style. Honestly, none of the "rocker" bands I listen to wear "neck scarfs" (which seems redundant because scarves are meant to be worn around the neck), so I have no idea who you're talking about in that style. Anyway, give a description there, one without fragments like "with the neck scarfs and all" and try to avoid describing it using stereotypes.
*I know it's not every one of them, but the ratio of those that do and those that don't is far too unbalanced to say anything else.
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Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:58 pm
I'm completely and utterly sorry about all that. i wasn't really paying attention to what i were writing. I just put anything because most guild just skim over the profiles. I corrected the last post of my profile to your standards. I hope it's to your liking.
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Kasumi Jaegerjaquez Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:29 pm
Nekico I'm completely and utterly sorry about all that. i wasn't really paying attention to what i were writing. I just put anything because most guild just skim over the profiles. I corrected the last post of my profile to your standards. I hope it's to your liking. Well....... Can you please Post an Rp sample? 2 paragraphs. And...I still do not quite agree with your profile, it is not Lieutenant Worthy. My own Lieutenant, Akumaxloveless. Please go look at his profile. That would be a good example for you.
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:36 pm
Kasumi Jaegerjaquez Nekico I'm completely and utterly sorry about all that. i wasn't really paying attention to what i were writing. I just put anything because most guild just skim over the profiles. I corrected the last post of my profile to your standards. I hope it's to your liking. Well....... Can you please Post an Rp sample? 2 paragraphs. And...I still do not quite agree with your profile, it is not Lieutenant Worthy. My own Lieutenant, Akumaxloveless. Please go look at his profile. That would be a good example for you. I will. I'm completely sorry. I will fix it as soon as i can.
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