The Chase

[Culex Xeluc]

- - -  

[Serenity Reed]

First off--I like your style. Simple. To the point. Dare I say mathematical. You could have gone to new levels of pretentiousness if, for example, you filled it with purple prose. The intelligent conversation was interesting. It really seemed like the ending of a movie, but still worked on its own. The thought of a previous chase perked my interest, and the ending had me thinking of what exactly would bring the two to this point.

However, there was some strange wording--such as the random addition of the very purple 'forsook' and referring to her as 'the female'. Some parts could have slightly better wording. I only tripped up twice, I think: "as he picked up the other bottle and pointing the top at her" and "he stated as he stood up, taking the bottle and his glass and started walking towards the edge of the cruise". There was a missing space here: "glasses.”The female", but other than this nitpicking, it was very good.
Nice. I'd like to read more, even though I'm a very slow reader. XD I find the style very appealing.  

[Xahmen]

I enjoyed it.
Best story ending in a double suicide ever.  

[Serenity Reed]

Zahmen II

I enjoyed it.
Best story ending in a double suicide ever.

*fist pump*  

[Culex Xeluc]

I think the beginning kinda dragged on. I need more smoothness.

As far as double suicide, haha. I wasn't really going for that. Aladdin and Jasmine didn't die from their carpet ride, after all. I'm thinking of starring the thief in another story. A sort of sequel of some sort. We'll see, I suppose. I need to fix another story before I start on that, if I start on it. Math has higher priority at this point in time.  

[Serenity Reed]

Oh! I forgot to mention that! Yes, the beginning is a bit slow--it could use a bit more of a jump start. =3
So there was a flying carpet and/or raft below or something? XD  

[charbookwyrm]

Well I have to agree with pretty much everything that's been said so far. The characters are really interesting - a series of related short stories about them would be really interesting. The Thief's way of looking at the world actually reminds me a lot of the title character of the new 'Sherlock' series (modern day Sherlock Holmes by Steven Moffat - brilliant stuff), which is very well done on your part. Their construction of the wineglass imagery is also awesome!
A couple of nitpicky things:
That no chairs were being used on a huge cruise seems a bit odd. Is it very early in the morning, perhaps, or are people more interested in something happening on another deck?
I agree with Ser that 'the female' is a bit odd - perhaps just a little too clinical, seeing as he's referred to as 'the man', not 'the male'. Maybe you could try 'the woman' - or even 'the detective', seeing as that's the important thing about her character. You call the 'the girl' once, but she didn't come across as particularly young to me.
"She looked at him with a thoughtful look" doesn't quite read properly. "Forsook" is also a slightly odd word choice in that sentence.
It's not a problem, exactly, but I found it a little strange that after that rather complex conversation, he starting quoting Disney's version of Aladin - it was a bit unexpected, somehow.
Other than that, awesome stuff!