zOMG: walkthrough

[empress dee]

This is NOT the beginning.

You should obtain the wish tree's quest which is find the following locations:

1. The Windmill in Bass' Ken lake. The tree will describe this as leaves that it can see.

2. The lighthouse on a hill in Gold Beach. The tree will describe this as a light brighter than the sun. (Yeah right, light house light may be bright, but not as bright as the sun. Its close though)

3. The archway that leads you to a bunch of tiny terrors in Old Aquaduct and is along the same path, if you kept following it, to the null chamber for the Aquaduct. The tree will describe this place as where water once ran.


Bass' Ken Lake should be when you are between 4.0 and 6.0 for the average CL level. Old Aquaduct is 6.0 till finish (10.0), and gold beach is from 6.0 till finish also. You should be starting old aquaduct before you reach 4.5, but really, you will not be strong enough. I highly recommend being 5.5-5.8 before even considering Old Aquaduct for the toughness of the level.

Remember I have been through almost every single quest. I am just three quests shy of the end. Shallow Seas is just one quest I have, then there are two more in or near the same area.

Some people will ask you once you reach gold beach if you want to join SS on hard, don't do it! You can't anyway. That's where I am at and you need to be at least a 9.0 and the right rings to even think about getting past the one enemy solo.

I am having one heck of a time just doing that, and I know the route to where I am going. They haven't changed it much, but made it tougher. (curse the creators of the game for that and they changed the beginning too to where its an absolute snooze. You can get passed all of them quests in under half an hour if you know where everything is. And I do. Even the Gnome General is a snooze.)

I am glad that they made an official lair for the Gnome General where you click the door of his hut and bingo, you can enter. They still have the fun mini gnome bosses and they still have the cuckoo clock sound effect, but the General won't come out of his hut even if you kill them. You have to click on his hut now to beat him and its fun, but super easy on easy.

After defeating the doll, you will be sent to see Kat's Uncle, who is a ninja that lives in an enclave that is very difficult to reach. Why? The damned Taiko drums. Those things are, and no word of a lie, like carnivores. They will attack you if they see you. Best bet... run! Run two screens north of where you find the guard that says, "Halt, stand and you shall be recognized." There is an iron bell there when you are at the enclave and just click the gears to enter it.

Uncle Kin will have you defeat 20 taiko drums, 20 Ghost Lanturns (yes you get to become a ghost buster, tee hee hee), and then he will send you to Bassken Lake to speak with Old Man Logan. Now, this may be tricky to get there.

If you go North of the Bell, you may run into like 7 Taiko drums with a special loot crate that they are guarding. You may try and defeat them if you wish, you do not have to unless you want to risk getting dazed, which may not be a bad idea since its easier to get to the lake after you get dazed, or you may win and get the loot.

It all depends on ring strength and what you want to do. Personally, if you had Coyote spirit to make a mad dash around them, like North one screen then right two screens to pass even more drums (no wonder the guard hates these things, they are everywhere!) then North one screen again, watch out for the lanturns, they might still be there, then you will be safe for one screen to rest. Do so if you got hit or are low on stamina... seriously, its the best idea.

Now while you can go North one screen again, I do not recommend that route unless you want to run into a pack of wolves and everyone wanting or more like begging innocent people to finish she-wolf with them. Yeah, do not give into their requests just yet. If you want to get that quest for later or to do for fun, then listen to my recommended route.

If you go right from the safe zone, you will see two wolf pups. They aren't too difficult, but watch out for a giant fluff. Those things can instant daze you. They are nasty bitches to try and get around. (And yes, I mean bitches because one is named Lucy, a second is named Mary Bussey, and there is a third also with a female name) The grass fluffs do not harm you here unless you hit them, but the carrion flower fluffs will attack you. Again, run if you must.

Eventually, you will get to a stone path with a regular named Ryan. Speak to Ryan! He will ask you to check up on a French Lumberjack (you will know who I mean when you speak to Ryan), who is somewhere near the den. Accept this quest because when you speak to the Lumberjack, that's the She-Wolf quest. He also gives you, the Lumber jack does, the quest for Papa saw, which is another extremely popular boss quest for Bass' Ken. In fact they are the only two really necessary quests for the whole level of Bass' Ken.

Forgive me for giving spoilers, but I am just telling you what to expect and what I would do if I could do this over again. (Which I wish I could without having to give up my rings I have collected and all that I would have to do is auto lower my rings and at end game Leon says something like, Congratulations, you have just passed zOMG, would you like to start over, but with the bonus of keeping your rings? Keep in mind, you will have to lower your CL to the appropriate levels as a test of your knowledge. If not, here is a trophy for your success in the game!)

Now, before you speak with the Lumberjack after accepting the quest, go South through the gate to "attune a gate" this is your ultimate shortcut if you do not want to have to go through the drums again and it makes for a good breather once you return to Ryan after speaking with the Lumberjack for the carrion flower fluff quest, a repeatable quest where you kill 20 carrion flower fluffs for 4 orbs and 10 gold coins. (Its worth it, trust me.)

Once you have attuned your gate, then go back through it to go back to Bass' Ken lake. Now go North along the path until you see a fork in the road (not a literal fork, it will be where you have an option to turn on the path or keep going straight) turn right here until you can turn North again. You will eventually get to another guard, when you see that guard, go left onto the grass so you can get Wish tree vision 1, the Windmill at Bass Ken lake. You may also want to fetch Mark's ring by walking along those shorelines, but be careful of saws if you happen to see them. You will be of level soon, just not yet.

(I can totally write a walkthrough to this game.)

Now once you've collected Mark's ring, hang on to it, you will be able to return it in just a moment. (It will say you found a ring, and perhaps it belongs to Mark) Now go back to that fork in the road where you had the option of straight or turn right, but even better, if you did go and find Mark's ring, then keep going left until you see the crystal, it is along the shorelines as well. (Lucky)

Now go through the null chamber, upgrade rings if needed, then exit through your newly attuned Crystal point! Congrats you have attuned Bassken lake! (Short cut!)

Go south one screen and to your left again to find Logan. (You will imagine the voice of Wolverine, Hugh Jackman for Logan's voice with the script the Creators of zOMG have for Logan, it really is quite hysterical. Especially when he calls you "bub")Speak with Logan and he will tell you about his past and then he will instruct you to see Agatha.

Now time to go passed Ryan again and through the gate! See? I told you it was a good idea to attune it. Go see Mark first by cutting through the fountain and give him his ring, err... rather a ring, which can be traded in for free orbs, whoo hoo! Now go see Agatha near the West Gate (the gate to get back to the Gardens) Whoops! I totally forgot, if you want bonus orbs when Kin instructs you to go Ghost Busting, if you go to the archway where there are two guards standing there, you may be able to pick up a bonus ghost busting quest, which everyone wants to crew you. Crew people for Ghost Lanturns! Its worth it for loot and orbs!

Go through the gate first to attune it to towns though. It will be worth it to do so.

Once you've spoken to Agatha, go through the gate where Nicolae is Standing at, and then see Kin.

He will have you fight the Nexus three. The Kokeshi Doll Nexus found on the bridge south of the Wish tree. The Taiko Drum Nexus, which can be found on a lower-class bridge made of clay instead of wood (cheap bridge without an arch, boo!) And the Ghost Lanturn Nexus which is the other bridge closest to the Doll bridge. You cross over the Lanturn bridge the most without even thinking about it before this.

Once you've defeated all three of them (it will be tough, I will warn you now), then see Kin and he will give you a ring and dismiss you to take on Bassken quests.

When Kin dismisses you, now is the time to find the lumberjack and do She Wolf! Whoo hoo! Finally, and do She Wolf first! It will make your next task simpler.

Okay, I have given you enough information for now. Treat this as a walkthrough and happy hunting  

[empress dee]

zOMG is a game courtesy of Gaia. Now while I have not officially passed the game yet, I am pretty darned close to it.

I have also started differently than what it is like now, but thanks to Blaze_Yagami, he did some research for me.

So, now, I would like to present a Walkthrough. Level by Level!

Please note that I gave a spoiler for your entertainment for the beginning.

So, without further adieu, let me tell you how to play zOMG!  

[empress dee]

Level 1 - Village Greens

You are at the Village Greens train station and have just gotten off of it. You see a chest nearby, OPEN THE CHEST!

Inside, you should have found a Guns, Guns, Guns ring.

Now move one screen to the LEFT.

You see Commander Leon being chased by three OMG monsters. These monsters are more commonly found in Deadman's Pass in level 2 and in level 2, the OMG monsters are much tougher. But, for now, KILL THE 3 OMG MONSTERS BY USING ` AND THEN 1 UNTIL THE THREE MONSTERS ARE GONE!

Phew! Now that they are gone, Commander Leon was about to thank you, when another monster appears. Its the OMFG. (How close to swearing are they are going to get?)

Translation of monster names in accordance to their abbreviations:

1. OMG = Oh my God! (cursing the religious leader)
2. OMFG = Oh my ******** God (even worse! Shame on you creators!)



Hint to the creators of the game: When thinking up monster names, be sure it doesn't break the trolling rule because you just did and slandered religion.

Anyway... calming down here...Ohm...

Okay, now continuing on with level 1. Defeat the monster and try and use rage so that you can get used to it, otherwise you have to hit him twice and lose some health. No biggie, the monster won't kill you unless you go away from keyboard.

Leon will thank you and give you a bandage ring.

(Weak! Diagnose is much better and faster you might as well not have a healing ring. Stupid Commander! First you forget your rings and get yourself into trouble and then you give us a worthless healing ring.)

Oh, for those of you reading, I am giving opinions too in this so that you know how bad the game can be as well as good. And for fun, I am seeing how many Terms of Service rules they break. They already broke one.

Rule broken - trolling: Intentionally trying to provoke anger. Making fun of a certain individual or group.

Targeted group so far - religious people who believe in God, or a God.

One must be careful with abbreviations because one might translate it a different way than intended.

Abbreviations are frowned upon!  

[empress dee]

So far, all you should have done is:

Defeat 4 monsters, gained 2 rings towards your ring collection, and met Commander Leon.

Leon will send you to fight 5 flamingos and 5 lawn gnomes soon. When he does, go one screen left and one screen north to find a bunch of them. Kill each one by repeating step one in the game.

In case you forgot, press ` then 1 to kill monsters.

Guns, guns, guns is an attack ring.
Bandage is a healing ring.

Once you have defeated them, you should have a total of 14 monsters defeated that is required for you to kill thus far.

If you are having a lucky day, which some of us do, you may gain a few more rings from the 10 monsters you just killed. If you get the diagnose ring, put that in the space where the bandage ring is. You will thank me later.

Rings that are great to get are:

1. Turtle - it provides you with a decent amount of defense and if the level is high enough, you gain HP instead of losing it when the monster hits you. This might have changed, but lets hope not.

2. Coyote Spirit - The best ring to be a coward with. You can run like the wind with this and very useful in levels 3 and onward.

3. Pot Lid - another defense ring, but this can actually hurt a monster faster if leveled high enough and it cannot break like the rock armor can.

4. Heavy Water Balloon - hit more targets at once and do lots of damage to them. It goes to show that even the animated hate getting wet.

5. Fire rain - even though it is supposed to be a ranged ring, that is NOT true. Its a close ranged ring, but it can target many monsters at once. Best used when at full rage.

6. Dervish - similar to fire rain it is a close ranged ring, but like water balloon it targets many at once and does heavy damage to the monster. This is a great Crowd Control ring.

7. Diagnose - fastest healing ring you can have in your arsenal and is better than the Bandage ring for this reason.

8. Hunter's bow - great for targeting a really far away monster without alerting anything else. And, because it recharges quickly, you can kill your target like Taiko drums without them even landing one hit on you.

9 Defib - this ring allows you to target an ally when they are dazed. My only wish for improvement here is that it should target yourself or allies. If it can be used when you become Dazed, you should be able to use it on yourself, but if its recharging and you become dazed then oh "insert swear word here" you must awaken or else rely on somebody else.

Every other ring is pretty much useless in battle.  

[empress dee]

Okay, once you've seen Leon after defeating the monsters, you have to upgrade your ring. Read the directions on where Elizabeth is, it isn't too difficult to do.

Once you've upgraded your ring at the Null Chamber, you are then sent on where I remember was level 1 after doing a pile of quests before that, which was much better than this cheaper version of the game and it is cheaper than it was.

Before, when zOMG first came out, level one started like this:

You were aboard a train without a conductor, it is empty save for one person. This person was apparently just a hologram, though. His name was Frank and according to what he was telling you, he was on his way to a different stop than you were.

He informs you about what is going on and that the world isn't what it was before.

How it was when zOMG first came out, at this point, you at least had some drama and I could imagine other than the images I was already getting, a movie like setting.

Kind of like being in "Speed" starring Keanuu Reeves and Sandra Bullock except you were on a train and not a bus, and there were no passengers save for one rather than there being a whole load of them.

The train speeds up and there is a temporary black out. Now you are getting a new feeling... a feeling of adrenaline rush... like "Oh no... am I going to die right off the bat..."

So, Frank tells you how to stop this train. He tells you to go into the gear box and tells you to throw the switch.

This part is real life education! If you are ever in a situation where the train is out of control and is being hijacked and the crook is telling everyone to stay in their seat or to get down and you see a control box, why not pry the sucker open, the box not the crook, and emergency stop the train like right now? Yay for safety and real life heroics!

Curse you zOMG developers for changing such a thing! You robbed us of some valuable life-saving safety tips!

Then what used to happen is you are to go to the engine room and turn off the train. This is another safety thing if you are a passenger and the driver in any vehicle should pass out. Best thing to do... shut off the vehicle instead of trying to control it! But, even better would be to move it to the side of the road, not in the ditch, and then turn off the engine.

Again, curse you zOMG creators for robbing us of what to do in a real life emergency situation!

Lets see what else you robbed us of?

Okay, so now you are off the train, yay! You made it! You're alive! You are now in a subway station obviously, but the escalators have been shut off and barricaded.

The conductor that should have been on the train and wasn't (isn't he the suspicious one now considering what happened moments ago) asks you if you are okay.

Too bad there wasn't an option where you could speak your mind and accuse the b*****d for not being on the train considering he was a conductor and flap your beak about how you were lucky to have had Frank there to tell you what to do with that runaway train. Then add that Frank is more of a conductor than Barry will ever be.

*sigh* but there wasn't and no monsters yet. Though that's okay. You at least had some handy information and a good scare too. Two great components for a best selling game.

Before I continue, I would like your opinion. Now that I have basically told you how both introductions went, which do you think is better.

The new way where you are defending the coward Leon or The runaway train introduction?