We are the Hunted (Invite only)

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

Theo slid off the rocks and stumbled a ways, putting a few feet of distance between himself and the boy. His eye were wide and wary, as if Tobin had chosen to stick him with a cattle prod and might do it again -- that the real gesture had been nothing more than harmless and well intended didn't seem to register with him whatsoever. He shuddered violently like someone who had been thoroughly squicked out and wanted to shake off a bad feeling and then ruffled his hand through his hair as if to do just that. Whether he felt better for it or not, he wasn't really sure but he seemed to drop whatever offence he might have taken pretty quickly. His eyes followed Tobin and he considered what the boy had said before tailing him into the house. He made a point of keeping something of a distance between them now though, clearly hoping to avoid a second chance of contact. It was one thing when he did it, though that wasn't easy by any means either. There was a lot to wade through and a lot to endure for him to manage even the slightest touch but if he wanted to badly enough he could work himself up to handling it. Being touched was a whole different matter and one he was much less willing to work through, a fact that had definitely made today's play interesting. It wasn't easy to play at that sort of wild dance without allowing the other any sort of contact with himself but then again, he had no qualms about embarrassing himself -- scrambling and floundering out of reach wasn't beneath him and he'd used what he had at his disposal well enough to manage.

Once they made it back to the kitchen, Theo moved to the cupboard and retrieved a couple glasses, letting the tap run cold before he filled them. He set a glass to the side for Tobin and leaned against the counter, draining his own rather quickly. When the glass was empty he licked his lips of any trace of extra moisture, ignoring the dribble of water that trickled down his neck from his haste. His eyes fixed on a scratch in the tiling beside the fridge as his fingers played with the glass, his thumb scraping at a non-existent speck. His expression became distant, thought pulling his mind elsewhere. His expression was too blank to hazard a guess of just where his thoughts had gone but he wasn't dead to the world this time. He tapped his thumb against the glass a few times and then twisted around, setting it in the sink. He eyed the jar of peanut butter he had left on the counter several hours ago, his expression much easier to read for a moment. He was trying to decide if he wanted some or if he should put it away -- weigh the cons of both more than the perks and still coming at a standstill.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

Tobin missed his small episode completely, already putting his mind to the rest of his task he had abandoned inside. He was much more concentrated on his task this time than previous, taking extra care while cutting his ingredients. He was almost done anyways so he didnt have much to worry about. The slender brunet was glad his meat had been simmering already before the episode, if not the stew would have had to wait for another day.

Throwing the ingredients into the stock pot he turned, noting the two glasses and the one set aside for himself. Glancing at the other male his expression softened, a small smile gracing his features. "Thank you, Soul." He said softly, making eye contact as he spoke. He took the glass, draining it halfway before setting it down. Following his eyes, he glanced at the jar of peanut butter before looking back. "Soul, will you put the jar away and eat what I make you? You'll like it I promise. I used to make this all the time for my loved one. He loved my cooking. I'm sure you will too."  

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

Theo tore his gaze away from the treat and turned his attention to the boy, raising a brow at the name he suddenly found himself bestowed with. He smiled, the corners of his mouth upturned in a crooked sort of way, as if he knew something the boy did not and found it amusing but, of course, he made no comment. He studied the boy for a moment, almost as if he were expecting him to catch on to the private joke he had somehow managed to blunder into but if he was waiting for an epiphany, he didn't wait long. He shrugged after a moment and snatched up the jar, capping it and tossing the spoon in the sink as he walked the jar to the fridge. He returned to he spot against the counter after that, watching Tobin quietly as he worked on the meal, his nose was already recognising. He wondered briefly when the last time he had been quite so lucid had been. The fact that he could wonder this at all only proved his lucidity but it was a happen-stance that didn't need proving. It had been coming and going ever since Tobin had first inspired this personas interest in control and it was stronger now than it had been in quite some time. He was aware that this wasn't necessarily a good thing but for now he couldn't be bothered to care so much. He'd worry about it when the backlash struck but for now he could enjoy the moment while it lasted. The lucidity gave a strength to the light in his eyes, the presence of a mind behind them showing through. He was very much aware of who Tobin was and what he was talking about. He was also aware of himself, who he had been, who Tobin was talking about, the part he had played in his life and the part he was confined to now. The contradiction wasn't a comfortable one but he didn't want to mourn that just now. Not yet.

He turned quietly when the stew smelled about ready, fishing a pair of bowls from the cupboards and spoons from the drawer and setting them on the counter. As he closed the cupboard again, he noted the bareness of it. There weren't many dishes there, certainly not a full set. He knew the why well enough that he or Tithe and maybe even Icarus a time or two, that all of them had had their moments of rage or anguish. It was the things around them that suffered for it but that was just as well. There was nothing in this house that he was attached to, at least, there hadn't been until a few days ago. He discarded the thought at that, turning back towards Tobin and watching the stew bubble.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

Watching the odd looking smile slowly appear on Soul's face made Tobin smile wider. It made him happy that he seemed to have gotten through to the other male, and he was pleased that he seemed to like the name he had given him. All in all, he was in a rather good mood because of it. He turned after seeing Soul pick up the jar, leaving him to his own devices as he himself went to check on his cooking.

The vegetables had been fresh and so were already tender, sponging up the juices from the liquid the beef had been simmering in.His mood put a bounce to his step as he flitted around the tiny kitchen, humming a sweet tune as he added spices. Lifting the lid he put his spoon in and took out a small morsel, blowing on it to cool before taking a taste. He made an appreciative noise and turned the stove off, adding a bit more thickening to it before taking it off the burner and setting it on a cooling board.

"Alright Soul, Dinner is ready. I just need to-" He had turned around to find the plates and was pleasantly surprised to find Soul had already set them out. "Oh, thank you so much. Here, take your spoon and I'll ladle you some up." He praised him, reaching out with his injured hand to grab a spoon and placing it in Soul's hand, cupping it warmly.  

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

Theo might have been more there than he had in some time, but having a mind capable of logic did not make his reaction any more logical nor did it do him any favors as far as overreactions went. Several things happened very quickly, some impossibly faster than others. Theo jerked his hand out of the boy's grasp and all but fell back against the counter, his breathing suddenly rapid and unsteady, his eyes wild. He'd taken a good knock to the head as he'd scrambled back, the hanging light fixture dangling too low from the ceiling for it's own good. It swung violently on it's chain and cords now, creating a crazy dance of light and shadow across the room. The spoon hit the floor with a metallic clatter, skittering across the tiles. Theo didn't seem to notice, though he flinched at the sound. His eyes were trained hard on Tobin, taking in his every breath and twitch as if the boy had just done something unspeakable and he wary of his next move. He hissed sharply, the sound very much akin to a cobra's threat at a bite but if that's what he meant by it, it was a bluff. He was pressed up against the counter so hard the edge felt like it would cleave straight through his lower back and lodge somewhere in his stomach any moment. The only action he seemed likely to take was to dart to the side and flee like frightened rabbit, rather than to strike like the predator he was.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

Tobin pulled his hand back immediately with a hitched breath, his eyes creasing slightly with pain, though it was immediately replaced by concern for his skittish friend. Silence reigned throughout the room, broken only by the ragged breath of the larger brunet, and the curious 'plip' that sounded every few moments. In the violent wrench away from his hand, Tobin's scabbed over thumb wound had reopened slightly, allowing a drop of blood to slip down onto the floor in a slow cycle.

He stepped back and away slowly from Soul, showing he had no intention of attacking. "Soul...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Truly, I didn't realize...o-of course I shouldn't touch you without your permission, right? Please, if I hurt you I'm very sorry." He inched his way over to the counter and grabbed a napkin, hastily wrapping it around his thumb before snatching up a bowl and taking it to the pot of stew. He filled it and walked back, repeating the process with the second bowl, though he made no move to hand it off.

Turning he grabbed the remaining spoon and dropped it in his bowl, taking it to the small table. Turning his head he called to the other male. "You should grab another sppon and join me, I would like it very much if you did, perhaps my cooking will be apology enough, hm?" So saying he pulled out his chair and took a seat, waiting with hope for the other brunet to do so as well.  

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

The man's eyes softened almost immediately, crazed apprehension giving way to razor edged regret. He shrank back against the counter and slid down onto his haunches, staring at the bit of blood pooled on the floor. It had never been his intention to hurt the boy. Never. But that's what happens, the black whispered, that's why you should stay locked up and the others should keep their distance. Theo flinched, leaning his head back against the cabinet and forcing his breaths to slow, breathing steadily through his nose. You hurt him. You'll only ever hurt him. Leave him be. Go away, Theo. Let someone else handle it. You'll feel better, won't you? In the dark and the dust, that place where none of this can follow? You felt better before, were better off before. Before him. Go away, Theo. Go away.

Theo sighed tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face and grimacing at the roughness of his bandaged fingers. He didn't like the black any better than the others, but it was easier for him to ignore it. The static hissed and crackled in his ears, drowning out the voice. He let his hand drop into his lap for a moment, allowing himself one last shudder, flexing his fingers as his muscles stilled again, as if to rid himself of the last few tendrils of feeling. It didn't really work. His skin still crawled, his nerves thoroughly rattled and set on edge but he didn't think he'd suffer any damage this time. There was the static and as he pulled himself to his feet, he heard the house groan, the floors and ceiling cracking, the walls bellying out and warping. It was unsettling but there was no sense of danger or doom. His ghosts stayed in their darkened corners, too lazy to recognise the trigger, the excuse to haunt him. He was fortunate then. Mostly they didn't need an excuse.

Reaching up slowly, he stilled the light fixture, turning his face away from the burning bulb to save himself the loss of sight. He stooped and took up his discarded spoon and walked it to the sink, rinsing it off in the water and drying it on his shirt. Then he wandered slowly over to the table and took his seat, setting the spoon beside his bowl, his gaze downcast, his mouth set in a sorrowful expression. He acted almost like a child who had done something wrong and had yet to be scolded for it.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

For Tobin it was very hard to see someone so obviously unhappy and not go to them. He knew that by doing so he would be right back at square one. Instead he waited, a small smile gracing his features when Soul finally joined him at the table. He didn't like the other male's expression too much though. "Soul, it's alright, see? You didn't really hurt me it was an accident. It's already fine." He pulled the napkin gingerly away to show that the blood had already clotted.

Placing it to the side he glanced over at him, his smile widening. "Eat silly, I'm not taking a single bite till I see if my cooking is to your tastes. Though it certainly isn't peanut butter."  

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

The man looked up reluctantly, his gaze not quite meeting Tobin's first and then falling to the boy's injured hand. His expression didn't lighten any, nor did his mood. What Tobin had done was an accident -- his reaction had been his to control entirely and he had failed to think it through. He looked away guiltily, half listening to what the boy was saying. He frowned at the boy's claim that he wouldn't eat until Theo himself did. He didn't need to taste the meal to know he would love it. He had always loved Tobin's cooking, he doubted very much that the boy had gotten so rusty that that could possibly change now. Still, he didn't want to eat. Partially because he knew he would love it and that he didn't deserve that kind of treat right now. And partially because this meal, like the peanut butter, was a link to a past he could no longer touch. As much of a gift it was, he didn't want it, not now, not after today. He'd been chasing things like this for such a long time, little snippets of the life he had left behind, pretending he was still a part of it, that it still even existed but now, with Tobin actually in reach, looking at him, speaking to him, cooking for him... he needed to face the reality of it all. The shards he had treasured before, they just hurt him now, and he realised, he really did need to distance himself, from everything.

He looked up for a moment, meeting the boy's gaze this time, hoping the dark contacts that hid the monsterous colour beneath could also hide the emotion his eyes probably reflected. He thought about the past several years, all the time he had spent just lurking on the edges of this boy's life since he could no longer be a part of it. All the pain he had witnessed, all the pain he had felt, the inability to console either of them. It was weird to think that Tobin had all the answers at his disposal now, everything he had ever wanted to know about just why his lover had so suddenly disappeared from his life, why he had never come back -- and yet he didn't see it. Before Tobin had gotten dragged into all this, Theo used to watch his house. At night, early in the mornings, sometimes in the middle of the day -- he couldn't stay away. Sometimes he even snuck inside, mostly when Tobin wasn't there but there'd been a rare few times when Tobin had returned before he could get out or when Theo hadn't realised he was there. It had been painful then too, he'd thought that pain would go away actually being close to him like this, but it wasn't, it was just worse because now Tobin could see him, hear him, touch him... but not really. He didn't know him. Theo did not exist and this Soul he had become... he wouldn't exist for very long either.

His hand itched, wanting to write. When he'd stolen into Tobin's home before, he used to write to him, explaining things, telling him everything he so badly wanted to just waltz up and tell him but he'd always torn out the pages and burned them. It kept him sane to get it out but actually leaving them for Tobin to find would only have hurt them both. He knew that now more than ever. I miss you, he thought before he tore his gaze away and let it drop to the table, wishing he could say the words, those and another three with the middle swapped for another, heavier word.

Instead, Theo picked up his spoon, pushing the contents of his bowl around for a bit. It smelled wonderful and he was hungry but the thoughts that weighed in his mind were making his stomach sour. He made a weird sound, something caught between a whine and something much more monsterous but both he and Tithe had already displayed that nearly half the things that came from his mouth weren't remotely human. The sound petered off to a low rattling in his chest as he ducked his head in defeat and lifted the spoon to his mouth, chewing quickly as if to just get this eating thing over with and then more slowly as if he had suddenly realised what he was eating and couldn't pass up opprotunity to savour it.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

Tobin watched with growing anxiety as the man across the table went through a myriad of unhappy emotions. At first it worried him greatly that maybe it was his cooking, maybe the man smelled something in it he didn't like. He wished this personality could speak, it was a bit hard to figure out how to read this one without voice.

The noises he made were almost normal now, having heard so many, they didn't startle him as much as they first had. But they did worry him. He wanted to ask what was wrong but to his surprise Soul picked up his spoon and began to eat, slowing down after a while which brought a pleased smile to Tobin's face. Maybe he could help yet.

He finished his own bowl quickly, the eggs of yesterday jumpstarting his eating habits and making him want for more. Though he had only filled his bowl half way on purpose. He didnt doubt that his stomach had shrunken with lack of use over however many months he had been captive. Pushing away his almost empty bowl he sighed happily, watching the other male finish before moving to take his bowl with his own.

Taking them to the sink he rinsed them, a bit odd because he didnt want to get any food particles in the slightly opened wound. He smiled to himself, thiking this must be how they felt with only one arm, and he felt wholeheartedly sympathetic as it was incredibly awkward to do.

He glanced up from the sink as he dried his hand, a yawn coming unbidden to his lips as he blinked tiredly. The day had been long and only partly full, but he still felt exhausted. He shook it off and forced a smile, turning to the quiet male. "What do you think of my cooking, Soul? Do you like it?"  

[Sorrow_Mirth_and_Sin]

The man cocked his head, looking at the boy as if he found it ironic that he expected an answer. He almost looked like he might give one for a moment, but the moment passed quickly and he simply nodded, offering a small smile of his own. He did look tired so much as worn -- he didn't sleep, didn't feel the impulse and even feared the lapse in consciousness, like if he slept, he wouldn't wake up. It wasn't so strange a concept, considering how easily it could happen.

He got up as the boy finished with the dishes, moving closer and pausing just behind the boy. He was very still for a moment, like he'd forgotten what he was doing, or perhaps considering it very carefully, and then he reached out, hesitating just before his hand connected with the boy's skin.

He hesitated too long.

He heard a distant creaking, like an old door that hadn't seen oil or care in many years was being open slowly, the sound shrill and screeching. He froze, turning his head as if to look for the source, even though he knew it all ready -- he needn't look any farther than the contents of his own skull. He heard whispering in his own voice and the things it was saying were horrible, disgusting. He pulled his hand close to his body, reaching up to cover his own mouth as if the words might escape there, his eyes wild and uneasy again, the light draining away as his lucidity slipped. He should have been expecting it. He'd never been in control for so long and never so long with a somewhat solid mind -- the backlash could have happened at any time. He turned his eyes on the boy with a sad look and then he let go.  

[Ma Sai The Caged Tiger]

Tobin dropped the dish towel to the side as he dried his hand, looking at his silent companion in mild curiousity. When the man reached his hand out, Tobin froze, his heart rate picking up as the hand neared, recalling the moment minutes ago when Sould had reacted violently to being touched. Silently he wondered if the reaction would be the same, bracing himself until the man's progress stopped.

He watched curiously as his hand halted, glancing up into his eyes and becoming lost in the sadnees that radiated briefly before disappearing. Recalling the earlier mishap he stayed his hands, keeping them by his side as he cautiously called to the other male. "Soul? Is everything alright?" He questioned, looking him over briefly for any sign of distress.