Something that I just need to get off my chest

[Tybarious]

I have to find a way to deal with this, again. I wish I didn't have to but I do. I need to find a new strategy to this problem, one that will carry me to be successful. Maybe theres help from others who deal with problem as well. But the evidence online shows that there are too many variations on the problem and will require a lot of filtering. Why can't they separate the two. I know there are many who have both but I only have one. At least I believe I do, I haven't been off of it in a long to know if I do. But thats not relevant right now. The first step should be to talk to the doctor again tomorrow and switch it again, to see if there is a better choice to dealing with this problem. 

Finding help online is problematic at best, it ether talks about the problem from a medical view, which is filled with so many technical terms I become lost from trying looking up what everything means, or they don't treat it all as a problem and want you to accept it as is and want the world adjust to you or it's info for the outsider to understand and/or deal with you. This is all well and good but I need help creating a strategy to deal or work around the problem. I don't need a way to feel better about myself, I just want felt in with society and the problem to stop being the reason everyone remembers me. I like my artistic skills and talents but I just want to act like a regular person and to interact with others like everyone else. Sigh, maybe this is a sign I want to be accepted like everyone else or that I don't accept myself. Maybe there are other issues I am not dealing, that I should. I don't know. I still don't trust psychiatrist and their view of the world, where they would want to accept it's just your lot in life and spend more time making everyone accommodating "you" than helping you curve or correct your problem. I know positive reinforce has more potential than negative but sometimes a good kick in the pants is just what the person needs. If everything is white then how do we know what black is? Too much white can be just as bad as too much black. That's why there is the ying and yang. But I digress. 

I don't want a response or a discussion, it just feels better when I tell someone this, even if it's y'all. But the problem I have is that I'm ADD. I know it's not a big deal compare to other disorders. Which is why I don't talk about it with others a lot. It's just something i like deal with on my own because I can manage, well for the most part..... I guess I don't know what I want by telling y'all this, maybe I want someone to read my thought on the matter.  

[Ravinsblood666]

... *raises hand* You can talk to me about it!! (I really really want to talk about different types of problems people have, but that may lead to arguments, but I'm always interested in things that people have to say.)  

[xwhateverxdudex]

I think that in this day and age, WAY too many things are regarded as mental disorders.

I'm obssessive compulsive. I know it and frankly I don't care.
It helps me stay organized.

And many times things don't keep my interrest for very long.
And when I don't think something is interresting, I forget it easily.
It's not that I can't remember it, it's that I don't care to try.

And everyone has something that others think is "wrong with them"
Being "regular" is over-rated.
Accept who you are, and find a way to use whatever is considdered a problem, to your advantange.

Ever tried multitasking, it may make you AWESOME at it ^.^

(feel free to ignore this post if you don't like it)  

[Iakun]

I don't think being "regular" is completely overrated. It's only natural to want to fit in and not have issue with other people because of some glaring difference you may have. But that's the tricky bit: being able to find that balance of finesse with social interactions while not totally ignoring differences you do have.

I can't really comment on ADD. It seems people talk about it all the time and so many people have it and yet I have no idea what it even really entails. A lot of psychiatrists like to give perscriptions for "cure-all" drugs rather than discussing practical ways of dealing with every day life. (don't know if you're taking any pills for it)

Although you might not want to just accept having ADD, dude does have a point. Sometimes all you can really do is sort out a way to turn what you think may be a disadvantage into an advantage. And maybe you can take solace in the fact that for all our yearning to be normal, MOST people got issues. DANG they got issues. xd  

[Moonracer]

Ty, I can understand where you're coming from man. I have ADD myself well a slight case of it I guess you could say I'm not as bad as others but I do have ADD. I have also been told by someone once that I am Obsessive Compulsive, I like certain things in certain places at certain ways, not everything mind you but certain things.

I can understand about wanting to be accepted and normal about fitting in. It can be a bit harder to fit in when you have ADD. I don't know about you, but for myself I usually have several projects going at once because I just can't work on one at a time I can't focus on it, yet if I have multiple projects I ca focus on them fine. However, it will take me longer then most people to complete a project because I have to bounce around other wise I lose interest.

Also I find I can easy get distracted I'll be working away say on a story and I will type something that is interesting like a plot twist in the story, it's good it fits, but then I'll go off and start thinking about how that plot twist came to be and the next thing I know I'm way over here in a totally other ballpark.

I had a shrink once...I swear I could have told that lady that Santa Clause was a ***** and she would have believed me. Ever since her I don't really trust shrinks, and like my little brother said they're very pill happy just like many doctors are now days so again I don't really trust them for that either.

I've learned at least for me if I can keep myself to only a few projects I can complete them. Also I have to make a conscious effort to stay on task to stay focused or to stay on just those few projects instead of adding more.

I know you didn't really want to talk about it just felt like airing out some stuff and that's cool, but if you ever need someone to just listen or to talk to or bounce ideas off of drop me a line.  

[Tybarious]

Thanks y'all, it did give some sense of relief last night, even for a belief moment. I know it be great I could accept myself as I am but in order to be successful in this world, I must adapt to it.

The main reason this is going through my mind is that I'm transitioning to another med and trying a new brand. Its not as effective as the old meditation. Hopefully I can find another that will be but it worries me that I might not be able to find a suitable replacement.

Sigh.....I'm so tired of fighting myself.

Moonracer: thanks, its nice to know I'm not alone.  

[Moonracer]

*nods* I see transitioning to a new med can be hard I'm having to do that myself though it's for my Asthma. My original emergency inhaler apparently had CFCs I think it was so it was bad for the ozone, but it worked wonderfully for me. When I took my emergency inhaler I could actually breath after two puffs I was good for a long while. With my new one...I swear I'm taking that thing constantly and it's 50 bucks a freakin' pop! It doesn't work as well as my old one. So I can understand where you are coming from there.

*nods* Yes, you must be able to adapt to this world Ty...but don't forget who you are either. Sometimes, we change when really we don't have to. So don't lose yourself, I have and I'm still trying to find myself.

*hugs* Welcome, and like I said if ya ever need someone to talk to drop me a line.  

[Tybarious]

I've had to bury myself a long time ago in order to get what I wanted. But now that I'm almost there, I've realized that I hadn't planned or know what I want past that. Its like I've lost my compass and my bearing.

I guess my sense of lost has to do with the fact I want to be happy with my future job and live.Right now, it seems like if I had Captain Jack Sparrow's comprise, it would me spinning right now with several aspects of myself returning that I did not include in my originaly calculations of what I want to do and would be best for me.

I want to talk to someone about it but I don't know who. My dad would be helpful but probably be only be good as far to hint to new compass but not a direction. My mom....well shes not as helpful as she once was but that's different discussion altogether. Everyone else in my life doesn't seem like they had or know what it is like to deal with mental disorders, let alone even begin to understand what its like to deal with it on a daily bases. I would talk to other ADD people except, most seem to have given up improving themselves and/or given in to it. I can't and won't given in because I do not want to be like them.  

[xwhateverxdudex]

I agree with Iakun, Everyone has issues.

And everyone shouldn't try to hide their differences,
as without differences, society stagnates.

You can learn to get along with others, without forcing yourself to be LIKE THEM.

All you have to do is find a new goal for life.
And I hope you find that better med you're looking for.  

[Iakun]

If you try too hard to fit in you'll end up losing yourself. You'll stop recognizing yourself and that in itself will be another form of mental damage. I've seen way too many examples of people turning out bad because they've done everything they can just to fit in. Some people probably think it's worth it but that's a matter of perspective, from person to person.

One thing I can suggest... have you ever thought of perhaps looking into some support groups? Perhaps a little more research into ADD to possibly see if you even have to take medication to be a proper functioning member of society. One thing about dude's outlook that resonates with me is when he said everything is deemed a mental disorder these days. Maybe pills aren't needed? Maybe there are other ways to live life that don't force you to subject to some societal perception of what "success" is.

I don't know. I'm rambling now. sweatdrop  

[purpleravenhawk]

As far as fitting in goes, every single person I've ever known has felt like they didn't fit in, whether they had a real obvious problem or not. Even people who look like they're the ones you're trying to fit in with don't always feel like they're fitting in themselves. The important thing is to be happy with yourself and find a way to be that works for you.

I've known a few people with ADD, and honestly, most of them were better off without the meds. But I'm sure it varies among people, especially with varying degrees of severity. Unfortunately, this is a struggle that no one can help you with, partly because it affects people differently. I can only recommend finding the you that you're happiest with.  

[Moonracer]

*nods* I understand Ty I really do. To survive my childhood I had to become something I wasn't sadly that forced me to shut down every emotion I had I recoiled deep into myself and had walls against the world. Once I got out of that situation that called for that course of action, what I thought was my only course at the time, I found I was no longer a part of society. I didn't understand it I couldn't feel...I didn't feel. I had to slowly learn what these emotions were again and it scared the crap out of me.

Slowly through friends I began to learn what everyone else knew and takes for granted. It wasn't so scary with a real friend there with me. However, I was still learning I'd seen the world one way then you throw in these new emotions and I was seeing more of the world. I started to gather information and digest it and began to form a new me so to speak. I built a new me that would survive this new world though one that was still evolving some as I learned new information and unlocked more emotions.

Sadly I lost the me I was certain events happened that I allowed to happen and I lost myself. I'm now filled with confusion again and trying to withdraw, but I'm fighting to regain myself again.

Sometimes one must pull back and watch gather information then move. What Dude, Purple, and Iakun say are true. We are all messed up in some way or another it's what makes the world go round. What society deems as normal I deem as crazy, and one of my friends deems as boring. I've told friends I watched my sanity dance out the door and I through a party after wards.

Anyway...sorry, um...anyway. Take a moment to see what you want Ty, what do you truly want not what the world or society thinks you should have, but what do you want? Once you've decided this sit down and take a moment to figure out the best way to get there without losing yourself. Because even if you get to this "great" point in life but you lost yourself then really it's not a great point now is it?

Iakun also had a good idea too maybe looking into groups or even odd groups like...I'm not saying do this but to get my point across look into Psychic ya know think outside the box if the groups you're finding aren't feeling right or don't sound right. Maybe find someone you can talk to just to share some stuff so you can tackle a problem after getting that bit of weight off or one that shares a closer understanding of your situation?  

[xwhateverxdudex]

There are alot of good ideas here.
You're not alone.
Just find the way that makes you happy.

Just don't force yourself to be anything but what you like.
(and not before you decide what it is that you like)
And everything will turn out OK ^.^  

[Ravinsblood666]

lol, so many words... kinda blurred... but yes, Dude is right. "Be whatcha wanna be". 3nodding  

[xwhateverxdudex]

That's alot of people that believe in you ^.^

So be strong.
You'll pull through.