[PRP] Fortified Walls

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

They had had to use Faleen's Sharpedo to find the boat they were to return to Kodo with. During this time, Grunt Nakura was silent. However, once they were settled in on their way back to base, he knew they had a good deal to discuss.

Faleen wasn't usually the talkative sort, so it was up to him to start something. While he was usually more than happy to strike up a conversation, unwanted or not, he sensed he would have to step into more...personal territory for this one.

"Agent Faleen," he began, "You know I respect your competence as a Rocket, don't you? You're one of the very few who has my respect, actually, and that's no triviality even outside of our organization."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Silence was nothing new to Faleen, it was not feared, nor unwelcome, but silence in the presence of Izaya, was unusual, and it was not mixing well with the uneasy knot in Faleen's stomach.
It had not been a good mission, and all Faleen seemed to do was follow through with the tasks of returning home to base without so much as a heavy breath.

After some time the silence was broken, Though Faleen only glanced over at her partner after he finished speaking, still she didn't say anything, watching him for a couple of seconds as if she was waiting for some kind of "but" to follow his statement.
She wouldn't be surprised, not after the display back at the park of her purely emotional actions.

Faleen had wanted to kill Rosie... she would have done it, she knows she would have done it if that boy had not gotten in the way, and she would have killed him too, for stepping between them. Had it not been for Izaya.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

When the young woman did not respond, the informant put on a small, grim smile and shook his head, walking to be in closer proximity with her. She may not have wanted to speak, not with him or anyone, but this was important. Her mental health seemed to depend on it.

"Regarding that," he continued, "It's not because you're as serious or as dedicated to your job as you are. Personally - and you may hate me for my saying so, but let's be completely honest here - I find your unquestioning loyalty to Team Rocket as blind and groundless as I did Aila's."

He kept a neutral face as he spoke, his gaze locked on hers. "It's not even because of your high intellect or your patience or love of robotics. I'm sure you know my feelings on the last one. It's because, Faleen, that even while you're human, your behavior and actions are that of one above humanity."

"I know I've said time and time again that I love humans, and it's true. But I've also always striven to be higher than them in a sense - some might even call it a god complex." Here, the Rocket smiled slyly and held out his arms in an elaborate shrug. "I once knew a young man who was a lot like you, actually. When a classmate of ours in middle school named Nakura decided he wanted his money back from a bet - money he had stolen from an angry father - he tried to come at me with a knife."

The grunt looked off into the distance, appearing to reminisce. "The young man who reminded me of you got in the way of that knife. He wanted to keep me from being stabbed, but it wasn't because he had human morals or anything of that sort. In fact, he grew up to be a very wayward underground doctor." Izaya chuckled.

"But the point of the matter is that for that moment, I envied him. I had never envied anyone else in my entire life before as I had him. And you know why? Because for that one moment, I realized that he was someone who had ascended himself - his thoughts, reasoning, behavior, motivations - above that of other humans. He had achieved my goal of being god-like through his inhuman devotion for an inhuman being. He said she wouldn't have liked it if he'd just allowed me to be stabbed, which is why he had gotten in the way."

He made a vague gesture. "That fellow - Shinra - was fine, of course. They called the paramedics immediately and he survived. Nakura, his assailant, had run off after what he'd done, fearing he would be found out. I told Shinra to tell everyone that I had been the one to stab him instead of Nakura. He did so, if with confusion and reluctance, and after that my straight-A student reputation was traded in for a record of juvenile detention." He laughed.

"Oh, but it was worth it. I contacted Nakura later and was able to blackmail him into doing whatever I wanted from then on. I used his name for everything and he became my scapegoat until he finally decided to legally change his name and get plastic surgery to change his face. Fun little fact about my Rocket codename. Ah, and that inhuman being Shinra is so devoted to? Her name is Celty." Izaya winked meaningfully.

With a heavy sigh, he returned to what seemed to be his main reason for telling her the story. "I'm not sure I could ever reach that kind of ascension through devotion to another; not with how concerned I am with my own self-preservation," he admitted. "But you seem to have. I've noticed from the beginning that, like Alia, you seem the sort who would give their life up for your organization. While I envied you, I also pitied you, because with all your trust put into Team Rocket, you seemed to have no loyalty left to yourself. I began to worry you didn't have enough human left in you to feel anything for yourself."

He raised a hand to put it on her shoulder. "Your interactions with Lance had me curious for a while, but it wasn't until today that my full admiration for you was realized. You see, while Shinra's devotion to Celty was unquestionable, he loved her. Your devotion to Team Rocket, unless I'm mistaken as I had been with Hayes, has less to do with emotion and more to do with needing a purpose in life." Izaya grinned. "I thought that maybe you were less god-like and more robot-like in your loyalties, obeying orders just for the sake of obeying. But now I see that you really do have your own feelings."

Turning away from her, the black-haired man looked out to sea. "It's not a weakness, Faleen-chan. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. You just need to learn how to let them out once in a while instead of keeping them locked up all the time and hoping they'll go away or letting them fester and boil up. I fear that may be a problem Frost faces as well, but perhaps Xander has been aiding him in that." He glanced over his shoulder at her. "What about you, though? Do you have anyone you can trust with talk of your feelings? Elite Agent Hayes, Agent Frost, any of your other colleagues...?"  

[Blood_Goddess]

Other then the occasional glance forward toward the inky sea, making sure they were at least on course, Faleen give Izaya enough to at least give her attention to the grunt. Though Eye contact was difficult, she managed it most of the time, using the excuse to look ahead to break it when she became unsettled by something he was saying.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting from him, knowing he had something to say, but not what, and not... this.
He launched into a story after he had made an implication for the reasons he had respect for her, clearly confused by the flight furrow in her brow, the blond silently listened to the story for a clearer understanding.

No more human left in her... she wondered that sometimes herself, though often times she rarely cared if she did or not... although who knew, maybe in the end what capacity she had to care was in the ideal of Team Rocket... she could die for an ideal she would put trust in an ideal, becasue those don't die... people do, pokemon do. It was just easier that way...

He put his hand on her shoulder, and this drew her eyes up again, a flush growing over her cheeks the longer he spoke, and she seemed to be holding her breath.
Made worse only when it became confirmed that the incident with Lance had been seen by him... why should she be surprised? She couldn't be. Though she was embarrassed.
She remain completely silent for a time as Izaya finished talking, swallowing hard a couple of times as she took in what he said with a look surprise, clearly not expecting anything like that coming from him, and not sure how to respond to it.

"...I have no means of correcting you... nor should I." She admitted once Izaya was finished talking "As much as I wish I could, I think I've gotten to the point where I should know better then to keep questioning you on matters like this." Hazel eyes pulled away from him, her jaw clenching. "I think right now I can admit that I am compromised, I don't know what to do, or what to say."
She took a long breath, keeping her eyes fixed on the ocean. "I have not spoken to Alex in some time, work has made sure of that." shrugging lightly, though it was with a still and heavy shoulder. "Even so I don't know if I would know how to trust someone with something like feelings in the first place, I don't even consider it an option." Faleen admitted quietly.
"I don't even know what to say about your opinion of me,"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

At the look on the blonde woman's face, her partner giggled. "That's not an expression I see you wearing too often," he commented on her surprise.

"You don't need to do or say anything, Faleen-chan," Izaya said with a fond smile. "Nor do you need to trust anyone with feelings. It just helps to talk out loud about things that bring you those feelings once in a while. For example," he said, turning aside, but watching her at the corner of his vision, "why you loved that Umbreon so much. I still don't understand."

He leaned his back against the railing of the boat, looking far off across the ocean. "Would you be able to help enlighten me...? Or is that a topic too personal to discuss?"