[FIN] Are you still mad?

[BlackFireKitsune]

She had no response to his initial comment, and a soft, short word to his excuse, but the muffled curses caused her brows to raise and her lips to part slightly. What had him so upset? Was it something she said? Something she did? As the shouts she didn't understand persisted, she stepped away from her dresser and instead moved to sit on her bed, displacing and waking her sleeping Umbreon. Anastasia jerked her head up and shifted to avoid rolling over unexpectedly and blinked sleepily up at her trainer, then moved over to lay her head on Sera's leg. The brunette absently laid her short arm over the dark-type's back, and as her pale eyes settled on the space where her hand should've been again, a sigh escaped her and she flopped backwards on her bed. Why did everything suck so much?

And why did she care? If anything like this had happened a year or two ago, she would've thought nothing of it. She wouldn't have cared if she upset anyone, so why did she care now? No, no; it was better this way, she figured, because she wanted to care about her friends. She wanted to care about them, and didn't want to upset them.

Akira's clipped tones and desire to end the conversation immediately only furthered her rapidly declining mood, which her voice couldn't help but reflect. "Ah... Okay," she ceded quietly after quite a pause, wishing she still had her left hand only so she could fidget with the sheets on that side. Her right hand, unfortunately, was too occupied. She paused again, unsure if he'd hung up already or if he hadn't yet, her mouth working to form the words a couple times before managing to successfully voice them, "I'm sorry." It was painfully obvious to her that she must've said something offensive - or did something offensive, or spoke offensively - she wasn't exactly sure what it was, but she was sure she'd done something to upset him, and the thought only added to her mood as it spiraled down into the depths of her sadness.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

Just as he was about to hand up, Akira caught Sera's tone. Great, he'd done it again! And this time he hadn't even been trying to help; he'd been trying to get off the phone so he didn't end up exploding in her face. The voice she used to apologize simply caused him to melt into a simmering mess instead.

He groaned, tugging on his bangs harder than ever. "Ugnh...Seraphine..." he sighed. "Please don't be upset. It's not your fault. Not...directly, anyway." Was that a stupid thing to say? Probably, but the truth was best when talking to people, right? ...Maybe not. He was beginning to doubt himself again.

"Listen, I just need to go cool my head. That was a lot of information to take in all at one time and I guess I'm feeling kind of guilty for not being there." His shoulders slumped. "I'm gonna go drown myself in ice cream floats. Wanna come?"  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"You don't need to try and make me feel better, it's okay," she offered softly, rolling over onto her side on the bed as it creaked under her faintly. His tone of voice, his groans and sighs; all of it was just proof of how much she'd upset him. Proof of how awful a person she was. She still wasn't sure how she'd upset him, but the fact that she had - which he admitted she did - was more than enough to weigh her down with guilt and sorrow. "Ah.." While ice cream floats did sound nice, she only briefly debated the offer before replying, "No thanks." He was probably just trying to be nice, anyway. "I, ah.. I have stuff to do too, anyway." Lies.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Ack, no! It's just - don't make me come over there, because if I have to, I will," he warned. "I was just upset because I can't stand the idea of you going out there and getting yourself hurt time and time again. You or your friends. There's nothing I can do to stop you, but there's nothing I can do to help, either. It's infuriating for someone like me. I'm so - so helpless!" He cried, his voice rising.

He waited a minute until he could speak with a steady, calm voice once more. "...I'm just very out of my element and unmatched in all skills practical, so I'm feeling a little vulnerable right now. I'm no where near the person I want to be as someone there for you and it's all just a little difficult to take."

Her last words almost broke him. Still, they were the ones he needed to hear. He thought he'd been honest with her, but hadn't it just been him who had been claiming the same excuse only moments before? But then if not that, what should he have said before? Should he have just told her the truth straight out?

Well, for better or for worse, she knew now - provided she wasn't too busy blaming herself to understand his reasons. "...Are you sure?" he tried one more time. "My treat." She definitely sounded like she could use one about now.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

His words stung, though she realized he didn't mean for them to - they only reminded her of her own bitter thoughts, her own helpless feelings about not being able to do anything for her friends despite wanting to. But what could she do? She already knew quite well that she was abysmal at offering any sort of emotional support, and offering help physically was usually out of the question, too, given her lack of a hand. What good was she to someone else - how could she help anyone else when she could barely even help herself? If anything was difficult to take, that was it.

While she felt guilty for declining his offer - he sounded as if he really wanted her to go - again she refused. "No thanks," she echoed her previous words, coupled with a small shake of her head that he wouldn't see. Anastasia moved forward and curled up against her trainer, her ears flat against her back. While Sera wanted to say more, she didn't know what to say. What could she say? All she would do was make herself - and, in all likelihood, him - feel worse.  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Very well," he said at last, his words gentle. "I hope you feel better, Miss Seraphine. I'll call you again soon." As he hung up, he got the odd sensation that they were reflecting each other's feelings - unintentionally making each other feel bad before blaming themselves for doing so. It just seemed like there was no winning. He should have kept his mouth shut.

But he wouldn't lie or pretend or hide behind some metaphorical mask; not anymore. No matter how much it hurt him or others, he would be honest. That was all he had to believe in right now and he had to cling to that one rule or he would no longer know what to do anymore. He couldn't afford to question his own morals just now lest everything he ever believed in came crashing down and he fell apart at the seams.

Akira would make it up to her. That much he also knew. He would make it up to her if it was the last thing he did, because he would be damned if he managed to upset a girl twice in a row and didn't atone for it somehow.

...Right now, though, he really needed some sugar.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Sera offered a quiet good-bye before the line went dead, and she dropped the phone onto her bed before hugging her arms around her Umbreon, burying her face into the dark-type's soft fur.

Her wandering thoughts would lead her down a meandering path that eventually culminated in a short text sent to Akira:

What's that song u had me listen to on your mp3 player last time?  

[Akira Midoriyama]

The distraught young man was in the midst of putting on his headphones as he headed out when he got the text. Smiling sadly, he returned her text with a quick reply.

'Odd One' by Sick Puppies. Hope it helps.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Akira would receive a short text in response.

Thank you