[PRP] Through Thick and Thin

[TawnyAngel]

Yesterday they'd cut his arm off and today it was his birthday.

Puck - his new Gastly - had turned up with cardboard cone party hats plus party hooters. Aulus hadn't been sure whether he should laugh or cry but in the end he had done neither because a nurse had turned up with actual real clothes, finally relenting to his pleading.

Getting into the sweatpants and t-shirt was more difficult than predicted due to soreness in his... well, most of his everything really. It was also difficult because of- yeah, because of that. He didn't look at his arm or rather at where his arm should be; he hadn't been able to bring himself to do so yet at all, not even a glance. What he did instead was wait for the nurse to put the IV line back in to his hand, put on one of the brightly coloured hats, and swing his legs gingerly off the side of the bed. Char helped him to his feet and took hold of the... whatever you called that wheely thing that carried the IV bag. Thingamie.

Right then.

Okay.

Taking a deep breath in and letting it out again Aulus moved over to the curtain, Char hovering beside him with the thingamie and presumably ready to catch him if he fainted or whatever s**t.

s**t.

He hadn't actually talked to Alex yet. Most of the last almost-a-week he'd been too out of it on painkillers to even think of getting up and as they seemed to be leaving the curtains closed as a matter of course at the moment he hadn't been able to so much as glance over, see his friend was awake, and wave. He was up now though, up with real clothes on and all ******** ******** ******** ********, how was he supposed to-? Ugh. Okay. This was Alex... that almost made it worse. He didn't want to freak him out but... but.... Well this wasn't going to go away, and there was no chance he was just going to avoid his best friend. He wanted to see him. He needed to see him. He needed... he just needed to be close to somebody he trusted, that was all. Everything was- He- He just wanted- Why had it?- He needed- He couldn't deal with!-

Aulus took another deep breath in an poked his head - just his head - around the curtain. "Hi." He blew on a party hooter with a cheesy 'toot!' sound. If Alex turned out not to be awake he was going to be pretty embarrassed.  

[Tinnunculus]

The squeaker was met with a huff. Nemerle's long ears lifted when she saw it was her boy's friend, but her flat look still disapproved of such frivolities. Aulus should have known better.

The Glaceon was curled up on the legs of the elite, who was propped upright in bed with a grimace for the noise. The contents of an IV bag dripped slowly down a slender tube set into his right hand, and another looped under his nose supplied oxygen with every slow, deliberate breath. Assisted breathing aside, he looked otherwise undamaged, apart from a few superficial cuts on his arms. A tablet had slid off his lap and lay propped at a half-angle next to his hand.

After a moment Hayes' eyes cracked open and he focused on Aulus. "Hey." His voice was hoarse, his smile mostly around his eyes. Another long pause; he shut his eyes again. "What's with.. ... what day is't?"  

[TawnyAngel]

Aulus spat out the hooter; Char caught it deftly and tucked it away into a bag he wore slung over his shoulder.

Alex had tubes going into his nose, supplying him with oxygen. He'd had them himself just a couple of days ago but seeing his friend hooked up to that apparatus still shook him. It wasn't supposed to be like this, everything had been going fine. If he had left one of his team in the control room rather than trusting that the grunt's pokemon had watching over things covered then none of this might have happened.

"Well. You don't look great," Aulus commented after a rather notable pause, remaining mostly obscured by the screen as he worked out what he was going to say or do first. He tried to smile back but it came out mostly around the mouth. "It's Thursday, July third... how do you feel?" He really was going to have to move in a minute but he didn't want to just do it because, well, yeah! He should say something first, something like... like... yeah, he had no idea.  

[Tinnunculus]

Hayes blinked, a look of incomprehension crossing his features. The nasal cannula moved as he shifted his head to one side. "What?"  

[TawnyAngel]

"Hu?" Aulus blinked. "Thursday, July third, my birthday." Dates were easily forgotten but they'd been talking about some kind of a (low key) celebration before going off on the mission. Alex did look kind of dazed though, maybe he'd forgotten the conversation too.

The date however wasn't the important thing to communicate, the important thing was the other thing. "Listen uh.... I know you're not really one for freaking out, but still, just... don't. It's not that big of a deal, it's fixable...ish. Uh." Right. "So." Okay. "Kind of maybe.... down half an arm." The last four words were rather run together and spoken quietly, getting them out at all had been a struggle though; he still didn't want to accept it himself, talking about it was never going to have been easy.  

[Tinnunculus]

The blond squinted in the low light at Aulus, or more specifically his mouth, light frustration tugging at his expression before he gave up. He smiled, rueful and faintly worried. "I can't hear you." The hand closer turned palm-upward in request. "Don' freak out; 'k? It's comin' back."  

[TawnyAngel]

Oh.

Oh.

Having had very recently had intimate experience with things that were supposed to get better and then did not Aulus tried very, very hard not to freak out. Alex was alive, Alex was coherent; slightly deaf under the circumstances was... yeah, no, he couldn't find a way to feel okay about it because if he had done things differently then it wouldn't have happened at all.

Aulus swallowed hard and combed his fingers through his hair before raising his hand to Alex in acknowledgement. How did you signal don't freak out? He kept his hand raised and made a kind of gentle quelling gesture, struggling to keep his expression vaguely normal but the grief and turmoil that churned inside him were becoming increasingly plain.

Sucking in another deep breath that was supposed to be calming but was not Aulus pulled off the stupid hat and shoved it at Char, wearing it now felt stupid and he didn't know why he had accepted it from Puck in the first place. Taking the IV stand from Char Aulus stepped around the curtain and started to make his way to Alex's side with leaden steps.  

[Tinnunculus]

"Kay?" Hayes repeated, with the best encouraging smile he had.

He could hear a little better than yesterday even, though it was hard to remember exactly what was yesterday; Kurt cared and felt responsible but he looked.. that look wasn't about him. Hayes' brows drew together; the smile, though shaky, stabilized until the curtain slid away.

Oh.

Oh.

The ringing in his ears intensified; his outstretched fingers curled back on his palm. "Kurt," he said thickly, and got nothing more past the sick rise of his diaphragm.  

[TawnyAngel]

Now standing beside his friend's bed and suddenly trembling all over Aulus tried to say something but all that came out of his throat was a vague choked noise. He sat down on the edge of the bed facing Alex but with his eyes downcast and tried to speak again. "I... I was trying to tell you so, so I didn't just... But you couldn't hear me. I-" Aulus' voice cracked and he raised his hand to his mouth to stifle the sob that tried to get out in place of words. He hadn't meant for this, he had been going to downplay it and talk about replacements and joke about how he'd mentioned robot arms last time he was here anyway. Somehow he couldn't manage any of it now he was here with Alex; all of his many layers of toughness collapsed to dust leaving behind only raw pain and loss.  

[Tinnunculus]

Despite the queasiness it brought, Hayes kept finding his gaze pulled back to the space where part of his friend should be. Between the fogginess of the concussion and the ring just on the edge of hearing the sight felt strange and disconnected, like something that wasn't real.

Maybe it wasn't.

That was a comforting thought.

It occurred to him he was hearing Kurt now, the words thudding into his brain like distant sledgehamers. He reached out and gripped his friend's arm, features tight.  

[TawnyAngel]

The contact tore a dry sob from Aulus throat; he gripped Alex's arm back and lent forward to bury his face in the blond's shoulder.  

[Tinnunculus]

Trailing tubes and hampered by the pulse oximeter, Hayes' other hand laid itself on Aulus' back as he murmured something, too quiet to hear himself.  

[TawnyAngel]

For some time - he could not have said how long - Aulus remained like that, silent except for ragged breaths and the occasional sob he couldn't choke back. He wanted desperately to cling onto Alex but he didn't dare, didn't want to put stress on his friend's injuries. This wasn't right, wasn't fair; one of the major reasons they'd both gone there was to try to put that place behind them but now, now-!

Eventually the tears slowed and Aulus pulled back, wiping his face on his arm. "Sorry," he mumbled, voice hoarse and shaky and eyes cast down again. "I... I wasn't planning on that." To say the least. "I just, I... I don't know." Swallowing, sniffing and wiping his eyes again Aulus gave a tiny shrug. "Is what it is, right? We're all alive."