[FIN] Here's Looking at You, Kid

[TawnyAngel]

Aulus exhaled slowly, nodding slightly and still avoiding Sera's gaze. "Yeah, I know." He was silent for a few moments then, trying to put his own thoughts into good enough order to voice them. "I mean, I'd like a functional replacement but... Yeah, it wouldn't be the same no matter how well it worked." Even if it could do really cool stuff it would really only cover up the missing part. Or would it? He didn't know but the same thoughts kept running through his head. He still avoided looking at the place where his arm ought to be as much as he could and he hated touching it, wouldn't anything be better than that void?

"Plus of course it means at least a couple of operations and that's not nothing, and once those are done with there'd be rehab and learning to use the thing," Aulus continued after another short pause. "It's a lot to commit to, a lot of work, and risks and...." He sighed again and shrugged. "But I'd still like to have two hands again so I'll probably go through with it." There was no probably about it but he didn't feel like telling Sera that there was already a whole treatment plan worked out was a very smart idea.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

He knew - he understood. Seraphine was suddenly very glad that she'd run into him, because she didn't have to try to awkwardly explain her feelings in such a way so someone else could grasp who didn't understand. He understood without needing such explanations, perhaps because he felt the same exact way himself. It was a nice change, being understood and feeling an odd sense of kinship with someone who was in the same boat. As much as she loved her friends, none of them had been through anything like that, and so couldn't understand. The closest who could was Luke, but even then, being partially paralyzed was a lot different than having part of your arm amputated.

Operations... That was something she vaguely remembered about the more complex prosthetics. "Not to mention healing after the operation too, and getting used to having an inanimate thing for an arm," she added with a frown. That's what it was - a thing attached to the end of her arm, trying to replace the real hand she'd lost in that horrible accident last summer. How did they expect her to be okay with that? But she wasn't living in denial anymore, and knew quite well that she couldn't have her hand back, so it was either a replacement, or nothing - and so far, she'd opted for nothing. Was that really the better option, though? Probably not, but she'd made her decision and had every intention of sticking to it. "Yeah, I understand. Good for you, though, hopefully it all works out." She couldn't help but feel a tiny hint of envy as she spoke, but she suppressed it and booted it out as quickly as possible. No, she was fine not having one. She'd been fine this whole year, and she'd continue to be just fine.  

[TawnyAngel]

A thing. That was the thing, it was going to be a... thing. A marvel of technology, doubtless, but a thing. He'd thought the idea was cool when it hadn't been about him and he'd made jokes about replacing his limbs with 'superior' robotic replacements which, unsurprisingly, didn't seem funny anymore. It mattered how well it worked, of course it did, but no matter how good it was....

Aulus sighed and flashed an expression at Sera that was probably supposed to be a smile but it looked rather strained. "Thanks, I hope so too. For me at least I think it'll be better than nothing even if it's... well, yeah," he shrugged, "a thing." It mattered how well it worked but it wasn't all about that, it wasn't even all about it being a thing not a real arm, it was also about having lost the arm to start with and how that changed how he saw himself and how a lot of other people saw him, and other things too that he couldn't put his finger on but he knew were important as well.

"It's... ah. It's nice to meet someone who gets it," Aulus added because that was one of the other things about it; being different, feeling almost isolated from other people who - well though they meant - did not get it.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

She nodded in understanding as she reached her hand out to Anastasia, and the Umbreon obliged and moved over to gently bump her trainer's outstretched hand. "Yeah, I guess in some instances, having something would be better than having nothing." Not for the crappy ones, but she supposed for the more complex ones that worked better, it was.

"It... Yeah, it is, isn't it?" She replied with a soft sigh, mostly focusing on her dark-type. It had been so long... So long she'd had to suffer through this ordeal and struggle to deal with everything by herself. Her friends had been supportive, of course, but that didn't understand, not like Aulus did. It was nice. "I haven't met anyone with, ah, with this problem before. It is nice." A pause. "It gets a little better after a while. It's total s**t at first, but it does start getting a little better after a while."  

[TawnyAngel]

It gets better. It was good to hear that he guessed, well it was, but at the same time it made him feel somehow vulnerable because thinking about it getting better meant thinking about how things felt right now, how they more than 'sucked' with a scowl and a laundry list of annoyances. It was hard, it hurt and not in the physical sense though there was that too. Of course his usual response to feeling vulnerable, sad or scared was to lash out at anyone around him who wasn't within his very narrow circle of trust but he didn't want to do that today, not now, not to sombody who... Yeah. Who got it.

Aulus cleared his throat, still unable to make himself meet Sera's eyes again. "Thanks," he said a little tightly, "good to know... I mean I figured it would suck a bit less once I got used to it but it's good to hear it from somebody who's actually been there."

Were things going to get any better than they were for her though? It had been a year she'd said so he guessed she'd done the bulk of adjusting that was possible. If she didn't feel comfortable with getting a replacement, or couldn't get one good enough to be worth a damn then was this it for the rest of her life? That didn't seem fair, not that he knew anything about her of course but hell she couldn't be a worse person than he was. He wasn't sure how to express that feeling though, or if he should, or anything really. He'd only meant to come out and get chocolate for Tam, he hadn't expected this. He was glad it had happened though and was starting to wonder if perhaps he could keep in touch with Sera, find out how she was getting on and all. It was probably stupid to think that, he should probably be thinking about stealing her pretty pokemon but he wasn't.

"I hope things keep sucking less for you as well." He felt as though that had sounded awkward or dumb or something and so he quickly added; "I mean as much as is possible, whatever you end up deciding... and it's not as though you have to rush or anything, or as if deciding one way or the other once means you can't change your mind later. Ha. We've got the rest of our lives to figure this s**t out, right?" He couldn't see himself changing his mind, well actually more to the point he knew that he couldn't really. Once all the effort and expense had been put into rebuilding him Team Rocket probably wouldn't be too pleased if he turned around and said 'thanks but no thanks, it's too weird.' For all he knew they'd shove a brain chip in him like they'd done to Lance if he did something like that.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Yeah..." She agreed though trailed off; it should've been obvious that it got better, why did she need to say it? Probably didn't, but she couldn't very well take it back, so whatever. Maybe he did actually appreciate hearing it. His response caught her a little off guard though, and she lifted her gaze to him briefly. "Ah, thanks," she said with a small nod, though she really wasn't sure how much less things would suck. It'd been a year at this point, and it hadn't gotten too much better. A little, yes, but she wasn't sure if that's because it hurt less or she'd just gotten used to the pain by now. "Yeah, we do. I dunno, I'll figure something out," the brunette finished with a shrug as she pushed herself to her feet. Anastasia perked up, watching her trainer attentively for any hint of movement away from the immediate area.  

[TawnyAngel]

"Yeah, right, good." What more was there to say than that? Not a lot he guessed. It looked like she thought it was time to move on now anyway, which left Aulus debating whether or not he was going to ask for her email address or something, he didn't want her to think he was hitting on her or anything. Anyway it was probably better not to get attached; she wasn't a Rocket and for all he knew actually had league affiliation, she did train her pokemon so it was entirely possible that she was involved with KSO.

"Anyway... it was good to meet you Sera, and thanks," Aulus said after a short pause, pushing himself back to his feet and picking up his bag. "I guess I might see you around the place again sometime, we can compare further notes or whatever." If he just happened to run into her it was probably alright, right? Right.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Oh, guess he was leaving now.. "It was good to meet you too," she said with a nod, then, "Yeah, probably sometime. I live in Camphoreon, so..." The brunette trailed off with a shrug. She lived here, so she was always around the city somewhere. Perhaps she'd run into him sometime? Briefly she debated asking him for his number, but that would probably be really awkward for a number of reasons. 'Hello person I just met only because we share a similar disability, would you give me your phone number so we can continue to talk about how both of us only have one hand/arm?' No, she wasn't about to do that. Instead she waved and said, "Well, see you around, then."

Anastasia eagerly circled her trainer's legs while staring up at her, ready to follow and with no intention of straying even a few feet from her.  

[TawnyAngel]

"Uh, yeah." Super awkward. Aulus hesitated for a few moments, still debating with himself whether or not to... to... well, something. Eventually he won the internal argument or maybe lost it - whatever - and put his bag down again to rummage in his pocket for his wallet. Once he had it out he frowned in concentration as he tried to fish a rather bent rectangle of cardboard out of one of the sections.

"Err, look," he began again, shoving his wallet away again and holding the card out. "If you ever... I dunno, want to talk or whatever this card's got my email on it." He'd got a batch made when he'd been convinced he was going to make it as a freelance photographer and the few that remained in his wallet - for what? Posterity? - were rather showing their age. It had his old email address on it though and he didn't cringe too much at the design he'd thought so amazing and inspired at the time so that was what mattered. He hoped she'd accept it now though, or he was going to feel like a right tit.... And he probably shouldn't do this, extend contact, possibly get attached but he didn't want to just walk away from somebody who got it. What was the worst that could happen?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Oh, uh, okay," Sera said with a mild frown as she accepted the card that looked like it'd seen better days. Well, this was still rather awkward, but she hadn't been the one to start it, so it was less awkward this way and actually acceptable. "I don't have a card, so I'll have to just email you sometime I guess?" She suggested with a shrug. It wasn't like she had any cards of her own to just hand out, or a spare scrap of paper or a pen to just write hers on, so he'd just have to settle for waiting for her to email him.  

[TawnyAngel]

Phew, okay, that had gone as well as could be expected. Aulus nodded. "Right, no problem; talk to you at some point then. I should get going for now though." So saying Aulus picked up his bag again but lingered a moment in case Sera had something else to add, he didn't want to just walk off if she was about to say something.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"All right," she replied, and without anything further to add, she simply said, "later." With that, she offered a parting wave before she turned to leave, Anastasia ever at her heels.