'I hate him,' That single thought, so swollen by anger and hurt, filled the young colt's mind, making his red eyes flash and his small hooves stomp. He'd lost all sense of time since he'd stormed away from his mother, seething and confused. Why? Why didn't she care?
He had shown up again, as his father did every so rarely. Popping in to tell his mother of his travels and then, as he always did, vanish with the morning dew.
Once again, he had left them, abandoned them. Once more he had disappeared without a second thought. No one seemed to bat an eyelash at this, for it was to be expected. Watch knew that, of course he did, but still. He had no right! He was their father! His mother's lover! Did he not care about her? About them?
He had stormed off, just as he always did. Hiding his tears, his disappointment, his anger, he ran away to think. Not that much of that was happening, it's terribly difficult to think things through when your mind is a pulsing, angry, red mess.
Older hooves stepped forward, silent like the shadows they resembled. although, he was quite sure that the temperamental colt couldn't have heard him even if he was shouting his advancement.
For a moment or so, Waltz watched the young child release his anger into the world. In his heart, pity formed, heavy and solid, like a stone. The poor boy.. He had watched the small buck grow from sac to infant to wobbly child. Watched him do his best to take care of and protect his mother. As The Sun Burns hated his father for leaving his mother, and if you asked, he would say he wished that he was there for her. But in all reality, Starburst was more than happy. She was well cared for and surrounded by love and affection. It was the boy who needed a father.
Waltz had been thinking about this for some time. They were not his children. Would it be wrong for him to treat them as if they were? However, Lady Summer was not his, and yet he treated her as though she was. Why should this be any different? And so, this was to be his first step into fatherhood.
The twilight colored buck stepped forward and called out to the young colt, "Watch," he began, "What are you doing?"
In the cloud of anger that filled his mind, a cool shadow slipped in. Angered further by this violation, Watch spun on his hooves and lashed out at his visitor, "What does it look like I'm doing?" He growled.
Sides heaving, he stared heavily at the Kiokote who stood before him. Those sunset eyes bore into him, questioning. How dare he bother him right now? Who did he think he was? His breath was the only sound that hung between them. In the long silence, his heart beat slowed and the red began to fade. And in his clearer vision, he saw something in Waltz's eyes that he wasn't expecting. Worry. Swallowing, Watch reeled himself in, lowering his eyes and ears.
"I'm sorry, I ran off to be alone, to think,"
Waltz gave the boy an understanding nod. He himself often took off when his heart was muddled and confused. Nothing was better for thinking than peace and quiet. But yet, Watch wasn't either of these.
"I see. And how is that going?" He asked patiently.
Watch stared at the Kio for a long moment before sighing, defeated, "Not well. I can't think when I'm angry."
'Poor thing,' Waltz thought as he stepped closer and sat himself in the grass beside the young boy, "Then quit being angry."
The tiny blue buck gritted his teeth, glaring at his elder. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard! "How? It's infuriating! How can he just- just- leave!" He cried, his ears folded back.
Waltz just chuckled, earning a dark look from the kid. "I know, it sounds ridiculous, but if you mix your feelings into everything, it becomes impossible to think clearly. So. Stop and breathe. Relax. Then think. Tell me, what is it that you are so angry about? Specifically?"
Watch did just that. He inhaled, filling his lungs with the fresh air, held it, and then let it go in a shaky sigh. He tumbled the question in his mind, turning it over and over, trying to find his answer. Finally, the answer came and, biting his lip with his eyes downcast, the colt spoke, "Mother says he loves us, but I don't think that's true. If he did why would he leave? Doesn't he care?"
Waltz, waited until the questioning eyes of red met his before responding, "Of course he does. Why do you think he comes back?" Watch opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, rethinking, "You see? Thinking is much simpler when there aren't any feelings to muddle up the answers." Waltz smiled, "Your father does care, about you, your siblings, and your mother. If he didn't, he wouldn't come back. But there is something else, something so vastly important that he can not stay."
Watch tilted his head and finally let himself sit into the grass next to the Kiokote. "What is more important than his family?"
"Well," Waltz thought on that, and it was difficult, because for him, nothing was more important than those he loved, "Your father is a wanderer. He longs to see all the light touches and follows the sun as though it were his heart. And while that may not seem as important to you or I, to him, it means the world."
Watch looked up at the sky, squinting at the heavy ball of light, "What's so special about the sun?" He asked.
At that moment, a wonderful idea blossomed in Waltz's mind. He gave a wide, easy smile and stood, shaking the grass from his fur, "Why don't we find out?"
- - - - -
It had been a long and difficult journey, especially from a colt his age. Through rain and mud and heat and danger, As The Sun Burns ran at the side of the buck who would one day replace his true-father in his mind. It took days and days of following the sun, but at last, the hooves skittered on the edge of a great cliff. It was here that the world ended, plummeting into the dark, angry depths of the biggest body of water Watch had ever seen.
"It's called the Great Ocean. My mother loved it so terribly, she spent most of her time here rather than with us in the plains. I did not understand and so, one day i followed her. She showed me this and I could never thank her enough." Waltz sighed happily, closing his eyes, reveling in the feeling of spray on his face and the wind in his mane, "So, Watch. Do you understand now?"
Watch was barely listening. His large, sun-red eyes burned with salt and longing. It felt as though his heart was screaming, crying for this Great Ocean. He wanted to feel its touch on his fur, to run on the sand, and see everything this beautiful body of water touched.
As The Sun Burns did not only understand his father's need to wander, he was now ensnared by its beauty and completely under its spell.
