[PRP] The Will of Nothing [Nothing/Ember]

[Ruriska]

It was on a misty morning that Nothing Lasts Forever cornered Smouldering Reverie. Cornered not in a physical sense (though that was also a common practise when she had her two brothers involved) but in sheer presence. She stood tall, solid, her bearing demanding Ember stop and talk whether she’d wanted to or not. It was time, Nothing had decided when she’d woken cocooned between the warmth of her siblings, that she have a proper chat with her father’s favoured companion.

Her mother, Forlorn, was thoroughly unhelpful on the subject, with only long silences and sly smiles. The rest of the family gave nothing but praise, even a begrudging Best. She’d never see Fell and Left get so excited except when it came to talking about her ‘princely’ father. The family royalty that had trotted off before she’d even rolled out of her sac.

To say that Nothing Lasts Forever was holding a grudge was an understatement. It burned in her and she was hoping Ember would let slip something that would help her tear him apart whenever he decided to waltz back into their lives. So here she was, without her usual escort, head held proud and the smile on her face not quite reaching her eyes.

"We need to talk."

Amorpheous

I can't even explain how much I love Nothing, holy moly.

 

[Amorpheous]

Smoldering Reverie nodded, a gentle inclination, a minute tilt to her head as she regarded the younger doe evenly. Though she might be the slighter of the two and the other doe stood tall, using the force of presence of one who had been raised heir, Ember' countenance had a certain weight as well, smoke tied down to flesh and bone. She held herself aloft, almost as if she were not quite standing on solid ground, but there she was.

She smiled back, eyes crinkling, though it was impossible to tell the depth of the expression in her ash-eyes. She gestured, with a light toss of her head that was perhaps reminiscent Killing Moon, for the other doe to follow her. Then an invitation, again there was an echo of Nothing Lasts Forever's father in her words, "Walk with me."

This was a conversation that Smoldering Reverie had expected for a while now--it was, perhaps, fate that the mist curled around them like smoke. It could only be more fitting if there was blood in the air and on their tongues.  

[Ruriska]

There was something intangible about Ember that was like trying to impose your will upon a wisp of smoke. It rankled and set Nothing’s teeth on edge, especially when the older doe offered that simple invitation that she instantly wanted to refuse. If she walked, she might lose her edge.

She dipped her head, ever so slightly, in acquiescence. It would do her no good to fight the smoke; she must flow with it instead. So Nothing followed, imposing herself at Ember’s side; earthy, poised and indestructible.

"Tell me of him." A command that needed no further embellishment. Both of them knew why she was here.  

[Amorpheous]

A simple command on the surface, Nothing Lasts Forever's request asked for much more than Ember knew how to give. She walked on, silent, eyes distant and thought of her dearest friend.

She knew that others in the tribe had no lack of words when it came to Killing Moon, but he weighed differently on her mind, if at all. He was a constant presence somewhere, tucked away behind her ribs by her ember heart. He was not just memories of who he was and ideas of who he is--he just was.

"He is-- a kin." And she laughed softly to herself at that but she continued on. "Like us all, he is more than any one of us can hope to put into words. Like moonlight, we see in him what we want to see, we grasp what we think we are able to."

She walked on, but turned her head to look at Nothing, "Tell me, what are you looking for?"

There were many things Nothing could ask for, even more things Ember could tell.  

[Ruriska]

I should have expected this. Ember’s words were as impossible to pin down as the doe was. It was the sort of nonsense that Nothing despised. While more than capable of holding a proper conversation as polite company demanded, even when at her most florid, she still had substance.

"I am aware that he is a kin," Nothing replied tartly, "I certainly wasn't under the impression that he was some sort of beam of moonlight, or maybe he really is, with how you speak of him." Layers of propriety peeling away with each word.

"You all talk as though he is perfection itself when clearly that is impossible.” Even for her. "I am looking for somebody to tell me the truth of who he is in plain words. That is all."  

[Amorpheous]

Too polite to call the other doe entitled and perhaps more willing to forgive for this was Killing Moon's daughter, raised to believe that she deserved all that she was given, Ember smiled and remarked lightly, "Or perhaps I should have chosen smoke--the shapes we see are those that we create in our minds."

"Your family sees perfection itself because that is what they want to see, that is the version of your father they are used to loving." Her voice was gentle. "It is no fault of their own. Can you blame them for cherishing the prodigal son? Idealizing one who is loved but is not here to be loved?"

She stopped then to look at the other doe, eye to eye, smiling just so. "And you, you seek the opposite. You seek not to know the truth, but the shape of his character that you want to see--someone less than so that you might not be obligated to love him as blindly as you think your family does, as blindly as you think I do.

Ember might be made of smoke and ash, barely there at times, but she had come to understand flesh and blood too and was this not the bone and matter of her dearest friend? This doe, still a child in some ways, was, in some way, still loved. "So then-- If you think I see him as perfection itself, do you think you will find what you seek in my words? Could I persuade you that I see him flawed, but worthy of love? Of forgiveness?"  

[Ruriska]

Nothing listened and was silent. She met Ember’s gaze unflinchingly and turned away by her own choice, walking again and expecting the other doe to follow. She was annoyed, that much was obvious. Dissatisfied with the answers, she turned them over and over again in her mind, seeking the right place to prod or poke to get what she wanted.

In the end, she simply stopped and laughed. It was a harsh but honest sound.

"You’re such a quiet doe. You come and go, never seeking much company. I had hoped to bully you into blurting out something, anything that might tarnish his reputation. I see now that won’t be possible. Regardless of his flaws, in the end, you love him just as they do and I was foolish to try discover something new."

Nothing looked at this strange doe who was both smoke and ash, and for a moment, just a moment, saw the remnants of warmth that would offer someone, perhaps her father, so much solace.

"I intend to destroy him, once he returns. If he is not already dead in a ditch somewhere."

Amorpheous

 

[Amorpheous]

"Is that what you had hoped to find? Some inkling of your hate living in another's heart? Some new flaw to justify what you feel?" Ember's voice was mild, loving in her own way, filled with the compassion of a thousand dreams of parents, children, lovers, friends, enemies, teachers--all conjured up in the night with something to give. "Perfection is difficult, if not impossible, to love. We cannot love that which is complete without it."

Perhaps some kin thought of themselves that way--complete, whole, without need for change--but there was no room for love there. She had once thought of herself in that way, perhaps not perfect, but whole for her dreams and the teachers that lived there. Love, accidentally found, had shown her how she had been wrong.

"Our reputations are not tarnished by our flaws--not directly at least. They are tarnished by flaws which we fail to acknowledge exist." Ember closed her eyes for just a second, back in the moment when she and Killing Moon had last parted. "Your father, more than anyone here, was aware of his flaws. Don't let your family's words mislead you into thinking that he thought of himself as beyond reproach."

"Be careful of seeking to destroy that which you do not know. Knowledge of someone's absence hardly gives you knowledge of their self." Ember began walking again, slowly, because movement, after all this time, was still comfort.

Ruriska

OMG I'M SO SORRY OTL PLEASE FORGIVE ME