[FIN] Some walls aren't meant to break

[Magician Arcana]

Quote:

NOTES: The following rp took place over many weeks and was done in fits and bursts. What is seen is the compiled rp together. It references a roleplay/meeting that cannot be posted. Overall, this meeting rp is rather small in depth and a one-off meeting.

This RP mentions some difficult topics, include sexual abuse and rape. If you are triggered by these, please do not read. Furthermore, the RP does remain within the PG-13 limits.

Due to the length, this has been broken into 2 parts. The trimmed document had 82,841 characters, well over the ~50k mark Gaia has set.

Sey
Adam: -had carried to town a large collapsable cooler, and now trudges back in with. Panting heavily and worn out, but pleased, a broad grin over his face. Slides his card key down into their joint room and steps inside- Koiiiibiiitoooo~? Are you here?

Maki: -carrying someone on his back, barking softly-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -sitting at his desk, looking over things and appearing to sulk as he rests his cheek on his palm- Mmm? Welcome back, Addi-chi. Did you have fun? -turns in his chair before raising a brow at Maki-
Mairu and Kururi: -ambush Maki from the bed and POUNCE-

Sey
Adam: Don't be that way. -chuckles softly- It was fun, just tiring. WOAH. -watches the girls tackle Maki- They're both out? What possessed you to do that? -steps closer, worried and presses his hand against Izaya's forehead- Do you have a fever?
Maki: -yelps and is toppled over, still wearing the doggy backpack-

Kitomyx:
Izaya: What way? -leans back and folds his arms behind his head with a casual smirk- Eh? Oh, I told them they could be out together if they behaved during training is all. Now that I train with Faleen-chan, it's not much of a problem. It's when she's not there that I worry about. -flinches and jumps up at Adam's touch- What? No, I'm fine. You're just looking for excuses to touch again, aren't you? -flicks his forehead-
Mairu: Kururi: Mairu:

Sey
Adam: -blinks and laughs, grabs onto his hand. Smiles brightly- Dude, you're like a ******** jack in the box. I barely touched you... -stares at Iza for a moment and shakes his head. Looks over at the pokemon and releases Manny and flicker. Turns his attention back at Iza- Mmm, maybe I am. You know I'm cuddly. -pats the cooler- This was why I was gone today. Wanna guess what's inside?
Maki: -growls at them and sighs-
Manny: -yawns and stretches-
Flicker: -bobs around as a lamp form now-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -flinches and tries to snatch his hand away- Not without good reason~ Why can't you find someone less paranoid to cuddle? -tilts his head at the cooler- I was wondering about that. Not something I'll regret finding out about, is it?
Mairu:
Kururi: -watches the new pokemon and Manny-

Sey
Adam: ... -stares at him seriously- Izaya, what's going on with you? You're not usually like this. You act like I'm burning you with my touch. -not about to answer the question about the cooler just yet-
Manny: -floats over- -happy, even if he's nervous about Maki-
Maki: -huffs, shaking off the doggie backpack-
Flicker: -floats in to inspect the girls-

Kitomyx:
Izaya: -frowns at him and crosses his arms- And what am I 'usually like' then?
Mairu:
Kururi: -looks at Maki- -notices Manny and smiles-
Mairu: -tries to pounce Flicker-

Sey
Adam: Not normally this defensive, or this wound tight. Something is either really bothering you or I am, or both. I mean sometimes you get tense and upset, or jumpy an bothered, but this is pretty unique man.
Manny: -settles down beside them and watches Flicker float around-
Flicker: -inner flame leaps brighter as he gets closer to Maki-
Maki: -yelps and turns, growling at him-

Kitomyx
Izaya: Well gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm stuck underwater all day and night with no freedom in sight while you get to go out into the world whenever you feel like. -sighs and rubs his temples- Not that that's your fault. What is pretty unique?
Mairu: -bats at Flicker's flame for a bit before jumping back when it brightens- -looks at Maki- -grins and flicks her tail under Maki's nose-
Kururi: -looks from Manny to Flicker and then at Maki before looking back to Manny- <...friend?>

Sey
Adam: -looks stung by that briefly before concealing it- Yeah... I had a feeling that was what was going on. That's why I went again today. I originally wanted to do this someplace else, but... -quiet- I didn't uh... I didn't understand how much s**t you were in, I guess. -shakes his head and goes to Iza's bed. Sets down the cooler and groans, sliding off the strap. Unzips it and starts to pull it out. Nicely done trays/boxes of sushi and some sake and green tea- I know you don't like drinking, but I figured what the hell? It kinda goes together, after all. Plus there's green tea. -offers him a box of it- It's not my fault, but I shouldn't act like I have. It's been stupid and inconsiderate to your own struggles. So I'm sorry... I've said I've wanted to help you and then I was... flaunting my own freedom without thinking. Being selfish and an a*****e.
Manny: -scoots closer to Kururi-
Maki: -barks at Mairu and lunges towards her in a tackle-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -didn't miss his look, but pretends not to have seen it and tells himself it doesn't matter, partially having told Adam to test himself- Hm? -goes to stand by his pokemon, not sure he can trust them to behave now that so many others are out- What are you...? -looks up to see the cooler open and the stuff in it- ...Bento? -snickers- Did you make it yourself? -shakes his head-. Baaaka. Being nice isn't a requirement of being a Rocket. You should feel free to be selfish and an a*****e. In fact, around here, I think it's encouraged.
Mairu: -bats at Flicker playfully-
Kururi: -looks at Manny and then at flicker- -glances at Maki-
Mairu: -mews in surprise and tumbles in the tackle before attempting to dart off under the bed, laughing-

Sey
Adam: Nah, not Bento. -grins- I can cook, but I didn't want to give you the shits man. -holds the box and jabs it in the air at Iza gently- Come on, it won't bite. -shrugs- Yeah well... I'm not like the other rockets then, and you're my friend. Therefore... I'm sorry I acted inconsiderately of you.

Kitomyx
Iza: Sure you didn't poison it? -takes the box anyway, teasing, but his smirk is soon wiped off his face- In that case, /please/ act more inconsiderately of me.

Sey
Adam: -rolls his eyes and chuckles softly- Just open the box you ********. -excited for him to see the tuna and other fish-

Kitomyx
Iza: -sticks out his tongue at him and opens it- Mmm...I do love freshly-prepared food. -closes it- But it doesn't sit well with me accepting this as a 'friend'.

Sey
Adam: -sits down on his bed- You said you were fine with me being a friend before, remember? What's the change of heart?

Kitomyx
Iza: ...You didn't make me accept gifts from you before. -only now realizing what he got himself into-

Sey
Adam: Yeah, but you've gotten me food before, now haven't you? And sure, I did go out of my way to do it, but it's a treat. I'll probably be jelly tomorrow from having to haul it back. -laughs softly- It's not crappy cafeteria sushi, but good stuff. Something you can enjoy and something you can't get... If I'm gonna go out sometimes, I might as well be considerate of you and do something for you too. It just makes sense. -thinking to self: and it might make you happy too-

Kitomyx
Iza: -holds the box out to him- You should have some. You -did- bring it all the way here. And I'd hate for you to be 'jelly'.

Sey
Adam: -pulls out another box and winks- Way ahead of you. I brought snacks for your pokemon, too.

Kitomyx
Iza: You spoil them too much. Are you just trying to bribe everyone into loving you?

Sey
Adam: -grins wolfishly- Is it working~? -teasing him and shakes his head and grabs one of the one cups of Sake. Opens it and sniffs, flinching- ... This smells weird. Is it SUPPOSED to smell like that? -hasn't tried it before-

Kitomyx
Iza: Nope~ -pops a piece of sashimi into his mouth- Not on me, anyway. And the twins already love you, so that was pointless. -sneers- Alcohol made out of fermented rice. Can't be that different from fermented grapes or potatoes or whatever else you drink, can it?

Sey
Adam: ... e___e -sniffs again- I dunno man this is weird. Wait rice? Really? -stunned, really didn't know that. Laughs and sighs- Drat. Guess I'll have to devise another plan to make you love me. -takes a drink of it and flinchs, gulping it down- Euuurgh. ;; No. -puts the lid back on- Tea it is then...

Kitomyx
Iza: Mmhmm. -chews thoughtfully and swallows- Not that I particularly care, but...how did you manage to get your hands on that when you're supposed to be underage? -snorts quietly at Adam's reaction to the sake-

Sey
Adam: Fake ID. You can get them easily. -shrugs and starts to eat his own food. Sets the food to the side and takes off his shoes and socks, putting them away before going and sitting back down on Iza's bed, getting comfortable- I wonder if they just don't have them where you guys were from... -musing aloud-

Kitomyx
Iza: So you /do/ know how to be decietful. What a good Rocket. -smiles- Of course we do. I just wanted to confirm how you did it. There are other ways, after all. -eats another piece of sushi- This is pretty good. But my favorite kind of food is any food that can tell me something about the person who prepared it. And I hate frozen or store-bought foods. -holds up a finger matter-of-factly- One reason I like sushi is because it's fresh. It doesn't keep well, so it's not something that can be stored for long.

Sey
Adam: -listens to him- Ahhh... So what can you tell by eating someone's food? I'm curious. -grins and thinks about it- I guess since Sushi takes skill and it has to be fresh, it'd be something you would enjoy after all. -nods-

Kitomyx
Iza: -nibbles on another piece- There's attention to detail or taste or if someone favors flavor over appearances and vice versa. There's also choices of spices or lack of. There are plenty of things you can learn about a person by the way they prepare their food. You haven't thought of that?

Sey
Adam: I guess in passing? I knew I had favorite restaurants cause of how they prepared their stuff, but like... I never thought of what they did or didn't do to tell me s**t about 'em. -takes a bite of another piece- So do you like spicy things? Or Sweet? Or Sour? Or Bitter? Or something different?

Kitomyx
Iza: Not sweet. That's Shizu-chan's thing. -makes a face- But I don't mind other things, mostly~

Sey
Adam: -takes a mental note of that and finishes another piece of sushi- I'll have to cook for you sometime.. It's been a long time since I have cooked. Can we even cook on base? -curious-

Kitomyx
Iza: -nods- Lots of Rockets cook their own meals. Some don't like the food offered and I'm guessing others are worried about poisoning.

Sey
Adam: Yeah, the cafeteria isn't that good all the time. -chuckles and thinks- What if we cooked together? That'd be kinda fun. Can you cook? -curious-

Kitomyx
Iza: -shakes his head- I hired a woman to cook for me. She kept threatening to poison me.

Sey
Adam: -laughs- You bring the best people around you, huh? Jeeze...

Kitomyx
Iza: At least I can trust them to hate me and not make a fool out of me by pretending they're my friends~
Iza: She never did poison me because I'm the one who signs her paychecks~
Iza: Or did, anyway.

Sey
Adam: -snorts at that- Nah, you can just wait for them to stab you in the back. Muuuuch better. -shakes his head- Well, that's good she never did poison you. That'd suck.

Kitomyx
Iza: People who love you, on the other hand...you never know when they'll decide they don't want anyone else to have you and have to kill you to keep them to themselves.

Sey
Adam: ....................................................... -blinks and then gives him this wtf look- You... Have had an even more messed up life than me, haven't you?

Kitomyx
Iza: Hmm? -looks at him blankly before smiling- I'd like to think I've lived a relatively normal life. Just perhaps spent it around a great deal of messed up people. But perhaps that in itself has warped my sense of what's considered 'messed-up'. After all, one of the only people who might be considered any sort of 'friend' to me by society's standards is in love with a ghost pokemon. And then that woman, that secretary, was in love with her little brother. That's nothing to say of my twin sisters or Delic or Shizu-chan. -smirks- Or you.

Sey
Adam: -sticks out his tongue- I meant... Why would you jump the conclusion that someone will love you and then want to kill you to keep you with them all the time? That's not love or caring. ; -shakes his head-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -sneers at him and leans back against the wall as he continues to eat- Human beings will do anything for love. That woman who loves her brother? He's got a stalker - one who broke into his room and accidentally found Celty. He smashed her head against the wall and Namie - his sister - covered it up for him. Out of 'love'.
Iza: And that boy killed the stalker out of his 'love' for Celty. Yes, the same being Shinra is in love with.
Iza: The stalker who loved her brother knew that that boy wouldn't simply stop loving Celty if she somehow managed to destroy her. So guess what she wanted to do in order to become 'one' with her so that boy would love her as well?

Sey
Adam: -stops eating an listens- I don't know who that woman is... I'm gonna guess it's the Namie person? -connects this all in his mind and sighs- From the sounds of this, she wanted to like.... I... dunno. Become a ghost pokemon? Be a spiritomb? But Celty is a spiritomb, right? Or am I missing something here? -thinking about this- All of this just sounds twisted and ******** up. Haven't you ever encountered someone with a healthy love of someone else? Not something that borders on incest or worship? -thinking of Delic-
Adam: Or Psychosis like wanting to kill you and keep you with them forever?

Kitomyx
Iza: -frowns briefly at Adam's impeccable memory and connecting the dots- Yes, Namie. Her brother's name is Seiji and his stalker's name is Mika. There's something of a love triangle going on there. But she couldn't be just /any/ Spiritomb - she had to be /that/one. So she figured the only way to become 'one' with her was to eat her. Good thing Celty's safe with me.
Iza: -makes a face- 'Healthy' is a subjective as term as 'love' is. I love my humans - that's all I need. I suppose there was this one girl in high school that I dated, but that's in the past. -laughs- Yandere is a pretty popular thing among Japanese, you know.
Iza: Wouldn't it be touching to have someone love you so much they wanted to kill you~? -gives Adam an amused grin-

Sey
Adam: -takes a drink of tea, not letting his eyes leave Izaya. Sighs and puts down the can- You're lying. I'm not asking you about what you need. I'm asking if you've never experienced love that's not crazy or ******** up like a love triangle, wanting to wear your skin, eat a ghost, or worship you. -shakes his head- No. Because that's not love. That's obsession. -sighs and then laughs bitterly- And as an addict, I can tell you that obsession is NOT love or enjoyment. It's.... painful and uncomfortable. -swallows roughly- But you're still dodging me.

Kitomyx
Iza: So mean~! I'm not lying! I'm just saying it's hard to tell what your definition of 'crazy' or '******** up' is because I'm not you. Who made you the authority on love? Some people would say obsession is an intense form of it. Obsession for people, that is. You may be an addict, but that's to a substance, not a person, right?
Iza: Besides, love is also considered painful and uncomfortable by many, so that's no distinction.

Sey
Adam: -laughs- Semantics can't save you from answering the question, dude. -sighs and shakes his head- You are lying. -brushes himself off and stands up, stepping closer, but not acting threatening- Nobody. I just know what I feel and think. You're right, some people can be obsessed or addicted to others, but it's usually highly toxic and detrimental to them as a person. They stop being able to function. Unable to cope with separation from the source. -quiet to let that sink in- You're telling me that you've never had a relationship with a person that didn't seem obsessed or addicted to you, or wanted to intentionally harm you either physically or emotionally?
Adam: -frowns- Has no one ever cared FOR you?
Adam: Not in the stupid "Ah Kami-sama" -does this silly fangirl pose- but I mean... Like... YOU. As a person. -squints at him- No one has made the effort to connect with you positively and healthily...?
Adam: -sighs- s**t okay maybe not just YOU, but you've never seen that? A positive connection that doesn't drag down or hurt either party member?

Kitomyx
Iza: What am I lying about?! I can't lie; I'm an info broker. What would that say about my reputation? -blinks at him before looking away- Er, I suppose if by 'relationship' you're referring to any sort other than the worshipping or hating kind...there's Delic. Shinra. Tam-chii, Jerry-kun...although I don't know how that one is now. But still, I've had plenty! Uh...Xander-kun too, though I haven't seen him in a while...Aila-chan...
Iza: Why are you asking? -looks at him with a slightly mocking expression- Did you think you were my one and only, koibito~?

Sey
Adam: You were an info broker. -chuckles- You're a Rocket. Still an info broker, but I'm not buying information from you, am I? I'm not. So you're not on duty. And you can lie like a rug if you ******** wanted to. -nods- See? It's not a ton, but that's good. Not everyone in the damn world wants to stab you because they hate or love you. There ARE people who care about you and want good things for you. -contemplating telling him about Delic, feels his heart flip flop at that. Blinks and then laughs- W-what? Dude no. I'm not deluded. Jeeze... Don't be such an a*****e. -steps closer and gently pushes on his shoulder in a playful manner- You're just so uptight about this. You act like there's two types of people - and they both want to kill you. But that's NOT true, and you know and have experienced that... But it's easier to pretend that everyone is out to kill you.

Kitomyx
Iza: -pouts, disliking the truth being laid bare like that, but then forces a smile back onto his face and sighs, shaking his head- Sometimes you're really a pain in my a**, Addi-chii... They don't 'care', they're just not out to kill me. Acquaintances. At most, teammates and coworkers because that's what Team Rocket is about. If you see those things for more than they actually are, that's bound to get you hurt in the long run. In the end, everyone just wants to survive and save themselves. That's what it means to be human. We only work together when it's in our best interests. -watches him push on his shoulder, thoughtful about the meaning of the gesture- ...Of course it's easier. You don't have to tear out your brains trying to determine if someone is trustworthy or not when it's much easier simply not to trust anyone.
Iza: Take it from someone with experience. Though I would have thought you, with what you've been through, would know such a fundamental thing already.

Sey
Adam: -raises an eyebrow- Of course I do. I make these decisions pretty slowly and over time.

Kitomyx
Iza: Why bother making them at all? You'll never know for sure that someone won't turn on you. Or, rather, what it would take for someone to turn on you, since it's likely anyone would for the right incentive.

Sey
Adam: -thinking and laughs- Yeah, you're right. It's stupid as ********. -shrug and grins lazily- I guess cause I'm a human, and I need love and someone to trust on occasion, otherwise I'd go nuts. I think that's just a human fact.

Kitomyx
Iza: Heh. Maybe that's why so many humans make so many stupid decisions.

Sey
Adam: -pokes his nope- Including your own, huh? -steps back and heads back to sit on Iza's bed- I'm glad you at least have experienced some healthy relationships. That's good.

Kitomyx:
Iza: My own what? Humans?
Iza: -rolls his eyes- 'healthy relationships' are overrated.

Sey
Adam: Nah, they're pretty great. -takes up his food again and continues to eat- Uhm... Your own mistakes. Though humans works there too. -shrugs-

Kitomyx:
Iza: -laughs- And what mistakes have I made?
Iza: They're pretty boring is what they are.

Sey
Adam: -shakes his head and smiles- Uh-huh. Hmm? I'm not sure. I mean, you're not perfect. You've made mistakes. -shrugs- It happens. That's all I meant.

Kitomyx:
Iza: Are you suuuure I'm not perfect? -grins-

Sey
Adam: -thinking- Well... You ARE close... but-dramatic playful sigh- Sadly, not perfect. -grins back at him-

Kitomyx
Iza: -laughs- And yet you can't name a mistake of mine. Any flaws?

Sey
Adam: You reaaallly want to go down that path? -chuckles- We both have flaws. Let's put it at that and leave it.

Kitomyx
Iza: -snickers- Now who's avoiding the question? Just admit it; you can't think of any of mine~

Sey
Adam: -smirks and takes a swig of tea- Let's see... Paranoid for sure is a big one. Manipulative, from what you've said and I've learned... -leans back, fiddling with his lip ring- Dishonest, with yourself an others... Secretive, but that goes in with Dishonesty and Manipulation... -hums softly, thinking- Damn, c'mon. It's hard to just be put on the spot to pull this out. It's not like I lay awake at night and think "in what way is Izaya flawed". -snorts- OH uh, unmodest. Definitely. Not modest.

Kitomyx
Iza: That's not a flaw! That's a defense mechanism! And manipulation is a skill. -trying not to laugh- I'm not dishonest. -says, being dishonest- Who doesn't have secrets?
Iza: Confidence is a highly-admired trait, you know.

Sey
Adam: -laughing- DUDE some people have secrets. You have like a ******** basement filled with secrets and s**t. It's beyond the normal "Oh jimmy I didn't tell you" -making a fake high pitched voice- "but I slept with a girl in college" sorta secret. -grins and grabs one of his pillows. Flings it at Izaya- Ne ne Kami-saaamaaa. You know what I mean. It's not confidence with you.

Kitomyx
Iza: /Everyone/ has secrets, and I probably have less than most people you know. -smirks- Gotta keep my laundry clean if I'm going to go around airing out everyone else's, right?
Kitomyx: Iza: -sticks out his tongue again as he kicks away the pillow- Pride, then. Which can be considered a good thing.

Sey
Adam: -laughs harder- DELLUSIONAL! There. There we go, Mister "I will take my flaws and spin them into good things" Izaya. -grins and shakes his head-

Kitomyx:
Iza: Nu-uh! You're just jealous of my unique outlook on things! You wish you could be as optimistic as I am~
Iza: How about you? Wearing that silly happy-go-lucky mask with a raeg face underneath and poking holes in other people's paper screens.

Sey
Adam: Wha? Oh come on! Now THAT is a skill. -puts on a derpy grin and slides his hand in front of his face, making an angry face when it passes up. Pulls his hand down and goes back to the happy face- SEE? A skill. -snorts and laughs more- mmm and how is poking holes in other people -play coughs loudly- yours -cough again- a bad thing? -lays down on Izaya's bed, grinning at him-

Kitomyx
Iza: Oh yes, being an angry, angsty teen forever and just pretending to be fine is a total skill. That all male teenagers with hormones have. -laughs- It's bad because you shouldn't throw stones when you live in a glass house.

Sey
Adam: I'm afraid you're mistaken sir. -pulls the hand over his face, making the angry one- I DON'T EVEN HAVE A HOUSE. -tries not to crack up. fails and laughs hard-

Kitomyx
Iza: Pfft. -shakes his head-

Sey
Adam: -wipes his eyes and snickers, calming down- Ah, but it is annoying... Someone did it to me recently.

Kitomyx
Iza: Hmm? Threw stones?

Sey
Adam: Nah, poked holes through my paper screen, as you put it. It was troubling... Aggravating, but at the same time kinda nice. -so glad Delic can't learn that cause he still wants to shove him down a well-

Kitomyx
Iza: Same thing~ -smirks and flops on Adam's bed, lying on his stomach and supporting his chin in his palms like a teenage girl- So who was it? And why was it nice?

Sey
Adam: Some guy I got into a fight with... Well, he helped me see things I didn't realize. Not that I totally understand it completely still. -frowns- but it helped. A lot.

Kitomyx
Iza: Oh? When was this?
Iza: Not Kyle-kun again, was it? You and your fights...

Sey
Adam: One of the times I went into town. I went to dance at a club and got a drink. Guy was at the bar and we started talking. Turned into an argument. Talked some more in another room and then left. -shrugs- It was annoying, but... Like I said. It helped. -laughs- Nah, not Kyle... -grins and thinks- Uhm.... -clears his throat and puts his arms out- 恋人、私を抱きしめる来る！(Koibito, watashi o dakishimeru kuru!)

Kitomyx
Iza: -throws a pillow from Adam's bed at him-

Sey
Adam: -chuckles- Please? (heart) -holds the pillow and smiles at him- Pleeeeeeeeaseeeee?

Kitomyx
Iza: Please what?

Sey
Adam: -thinks it over again- 私を抱きしめる来る！(watashi o dakishimeru kuru!)
Adam: Does that sound right? Or weird? -chuckle- I practiced a lot, y'know!

Kitomyx
Iza: -smiles at him- Īe. ( いいえ。)
Iza: Nice try, though. You did a good job. Too bad it's in vain~

Sey
Adam: -laughs- Darn... Okay, well... Come and snuggle with me? Please~?

Kitomyx
Iza: Īe.
Iza: Why should I~? -makes himself comfortable on Adam's bed-

Sey
Adam: -bemused- Because I'm warm and adorable and made for cuddling~?

Kitomyx
Iza: -tosses the plushie given to him for Christmas at Adam- Here.
Iza: So is this. Now you're a perfect match.

Sey
Adam: -bemused- Hmm... What if I get up and lay on my bed with you then?

Kitomyx
Iza: ... -gets out a love ball- Just try it.
Iza: I just remembered who you remind me of.

Sey
Adam: -blinks- Are you... Going to capture me?

Kitomyx
Iza: ...... -gives him an incredulous look- ...Yes, Adam. Because that's exactly what I need - my roommate in a love ball.

Sey
Adam: -laughs- Well, I don't know what you're doing with that. I figured you were going to catch me and then keep me in it so I wouldn't bug you. -grins- Sounds like something you'd do. -yawns- So who do I remind you of?

Kitomyx
Iza: Something like that. -smiles humorlessly and opens the ball-
Delic: -pops out- Ching? -looks around- Chingling Ching?

Sey
Adam: Chingling..? Wait... -frowns, brows furrowing together- Chingling... Oh.... -chuckles a little- Really? I bet I'm much more tolerable than him.

Kitomyx
Delic: -looks over at Adam and happily floats toward him- Ching ching ling~! -greets him with cheerful ringing and a hug-
Iza: Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that.

Sey
Adam: -pets the chingling- Hey buddy. You're pretty cute. -still not sure if he could tell Izaya about it- Ahhh but I know so~

Kitomyx
Delic: -beams before posing proudly- Chingling ling~!
Iza: And how might that be?

Sey
Adam: -snorts- Okay don't get a full head. -pets the little bell a few more times- I met him.. Actually the dude I got in a fight with. -rubs his own face and laughs sheepishly- I just... didn't know how to bring it up or if I should. Especially since I recall promising not to talk about him to you -liar liar pants on fire-

Kitomyx
Iza: Oh, it's far too late for that. -rolls his eyes-
Delic: -enjoys being pet before noticing Izaya's eye roll, grinning slyly, and glomping his trainer's face-
Iza: UGH!! -snatches him off and tosses him back at Adam- You - wait, you did what? Met who? Delic? When did I last let him out around you... -tries to recall-

Sey
Adam: Let him out? -gets this weird look on his face like wtf- Did you catch your... OH.... -snorts and catches pokemon delic, cuddling him- I meant the real dude, dude.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -raises a brow- ...Come again?
Delic: -surprised to be caught before HAPPILY snuggling Adam back-

Sey
Adam: -grins embarrassingly- I am in such s**t, aren't I.... -sighs- I met the real Delic, not the cute chingling that's snuggling me. The dude I said I got into a fight with and NO it wasn't physical. It was just an argument.

Kitomyx
Iza: ......how....did that happen? -face turns blank-
Delic: -notices something wrong and looks up, curious-

Sey
Adam: ... Yup. -flops back, no longer looking at him but at the ceiling- I was at a bar, I got a drink. There was a guy there watching others dance. I said it was more fun TO dance but he started going off about being a host and not coming back sweaty and stuff... And then he went into this long hash of names for himself -wincing, remembering some of the cheesier ones- He mentioned you calling him one and so I knew who it was...

Kitomyx
Iza: ...So you didn't meet him on purpose.
Delic: Ching ching?

Sey
Adam: Huh? -looks at Iz incredulously- I wouldn't invade your personal life. ******** that. No... It was a mere coincidence.

Kitomyx
Iza: Then why would you consider yourself in trouble?
Delic: -hops up onto Adam's shoulder and studies his trainer's face-

Sey
Adam: The way your face fell when I said I had met him had me worried...

Kitomyx
Iza: ...my face? -frowns, having tried to be careful in keeping his expression unreadable up until then- Hahaha...you must be reading too much into things again.

Sey
Adam: -shakes his head- The fact you had to conceal your emotions meant there was something there you didn't want me to see. Either anger at me or worry for him, or a combo there of.

Kitomyx
Iza: If the idiot is alive and well enough to be going to bars and arguing with strangers in public, that's all I need to know. -tosses his trash from lunch-
Iza: -turns back to Adam- And what if it was the other way around?

Sey
Adam: ... -bites his lower lip, remembering Delic crying and being upset. blinks at him- ... Worry for me and anger at him? Uh.. -thinking- I couldn't see it going that way. Unless you thought he was going to molest me. -snorts- But I think once it became clear we both knew you he didn't approach me like that.

Kitomyx
Delic: -looking back and forth between Adam and Iza-
Iza: Heh. -sips at the last of his tea- He may seem like your ordinary playboy host, but he's still dangerous. He's got a temper too, you know. It's just not as easily triggered as his twin's.
Iza: One time we were arguing and he threw a couch of mine out my apartment window. Which was not on the first floor.

Sey
Adam: Yeah... He smashed his glass that was holding strawberry milk. -mutters- I hope he cleaned the cut up like I said to... -winces at that- Jesus Christ... Well, he has a good control on his temper then since I was yelling at him pretty steadily.

Kitomyx
Iza: -smirks- Doesn't sound like it if he broke his glass badly enough to injure himself. So what were you yelling at him about, pray tell?

Sey
Adam: ... -looks away, acting embarrassed- Nothing.

Kitomyx
Iza: Ahh? Now who's being secretive?
Delic: Chingling? -prods Adam encouragingly-

Sey
Adam: -snorts an laughs at the prod. Gently plays with his tail- He had said some stuff about you, well.. How he addressed you. It bothered me.

Kitomyx
Iza: Pfft. Did Addi-chii get jealous~?
Delic: -blinks and tries to take his tail back to tickle Adam's cheek-

Sey
Adam: -laughs, flushing- What? NO. As if. -keeps his tail and tickles it with his other hand- s**t uh... That's not convincing at all, is it? -laughing more, caught between embarrassment and nervousness because WAS he getting jealous?-

Kitomyx
Delic: Ling! -laughs as a bell laughs and kisses Adam on his flushing face-
Iza: -smile slowly fades- Not really, no.
Iza: Well, you can rest easy~ Regardless of whatever happened in the past, there's nothing going on between us now. Team Rocket has made certain of that. -rolls over in the bed with his back to Adam and yawns-
Iza: Delic was always delusional, anyway. I knew it would never work out between us right from the start.

Sey
Adam: -snorts at the kiss- ;; Del please. You're gonna make me flush more. -rubs his face and sighs, trying to calm down- It's embarrassing 'cause to be honest he put me in my place. And I ... -voice falters at that, goes completely silent- ... -stomach drops and is incredibly confused. Gently strokes Delic's tail and releases it. Rolls over and sighs- I tried to convince him to join. But he said it'd be impossible on many levels. -swallows roughly- And that being out gave you another reason to want to get out too. He misses you, Izaya. Terribly. That's part of the reason I struggled with telling you this, cause you have your own s**t right now you're struggling with without this weighing on you. -closes his eyes and laughs bitterly- I probably made the wrong choice admitting any of this.

Kitomyx
Delic: Ching ching~ -bats his eyes and acts as if that was his intention all along-

Iza: Hm? -listens passively before sitting up- ...You what? -stares at Adam- You let him know you were a Rocket?! And you - Adam, this isn't a life for just anyone! People /die/ doing the things we do! It's bad enough a kid like you felt he had no other choice but to join, but to try to talk someone else into it...?

-facepalms- I don't care. I don't care about him or you. All I care about right now is surviving and I have to focus on that or I won't have /anything/ to focus on in the end and nothing will matter. -goes back to his lying on his side- I was right. You're as much an idiot as he is. Maybe more.

Sey
Adam: -quiet as he listens- ... -closes his eyes- Focus on surviving. Please. He'll be fine. I'll be fine. Just focus on you.

Kitomyx
Iza: If you hadn't told me, I would have found out anyway. And I would have made you regret keeping it from me.
Delic: Ching...? -peers at Iza and looks sadly at Adam before nuzzling against the nape of his neck-
Iza: I can only focus if YOU focus on your OWN survival. And from the sounds of it, you haven't had much care for that.

Sey
Adam: -thinking about what he is saying, notices the emphasis on how he would find out. Telling himself it was better to learn now than later. Trying to make himself believe it, and Adam is as well- ... -feels something snap inside of him at the mention of focusing on his own survival, starting to cry a little bit. Still not sure why he's so upset at this or what is bothering him. Glad to be facing the wall-

Kitomyx
Iza: So quit giving me cause for distraction and leave me alone.
Delic: Chingling? -wipes Adam's tears with his tail/scarf and nestles against him comfortingly-

Sey
Adam: I really am just a nuisance, huh?

Kitomyx
Iza: ...Maybe you wouldn't be if you stopped trying to get so close.

Sey
Adam: -grits his teeth, not sure what to do now. Feels like he should just give up and crawl into a little drunken ball of pain and misery. Remembering what Delic said to him- .... He.. Hehe... Hehehehe... hahahaha... -starts to giggle. Rolls over so he stares at the ceiling- I can focus on my survival by being a good rocket, which won't distract you by being in danger... -wipes his eyes- I won't stop being close, or trying to be close, to you. So I'll be a nuisance and you can go on to hate me. That's fine. -repeats it again with a bitter smile- That's fine. -gently picks up Delic and hugs him- One day you'll get out and be free. That's good too. And if I annoy you and make you hate me enough, you'll want out faster. So really... This is fine. -closes his eyes-

Kitomyx
Izaya: Once you're part of Team Rocket, you can't ever really be free. -takes out his dex and pretends to use it but watches Adam in the reflection of its screen instead- You need to find a better reason for living, Addi-chii.

Sey
Adam: And what do you think my current reason for living is? -idly strokes Delic-

Kitomyx
Delic: -hugs Adam's hand and looks at him-
Iza: It's really starting to seem your ultimate goal is continue being a nuisance to me.

Sey
Adam: -makes a buzzer noise- bzzzt. -smiles at Del- Though I guess you might see it like that. Not sure. -uses his other hand to pet him-

Kitomyx
Iza: Then care to enlighten me?
Delic: -makes jingling noises back-

Sey
Adam: -smiles softly- You are so cute. Now if your real life version was thus cute I wouldn't be nearly as annoyed. -nuzzles Del- mmm... Not right yet.

Kitomyx
Delic: Ching? -scratches his head, puzzled, before nuzzling back-
Iza: Hm. Well I hope it's something self-serving rather than some pointless notion of wanting to help others that may not even want it...

Sey
Adam: Its both... It's self-serving and it's about others I guess. I don't know. -chuckles softly- Not really helping others, though.
Manny: -watches this all go down so confused- .... -floats up a bit- Ly? -looks at Delic-

Kitomyx
Iza: Mmm...out of some misplaced sense of nobility, no doubt~
Delic: -looks over at Manny as if realizing there are other pokemon around for the first time-

Sey
Adam: -thinking- It's... okay to have a selfish reason to live? Even if it would hurt someone else?
Manny: -looks over his shoulder at the others for a second and scoots closer- < H... Hi... Uhm...> -hot sure what to say to him now-

Kitomyx
Iza: Is that a question or a statement?
Mairu: -grinning mischeviously and whispering to Kururi-
Kururi: -watching curiously-
Delic: -bats his eyes at Manny- -touches his Gastly face delicately, caressing it-

Sey
Adam: A question.
Maki: -whispers to them-
Manny: ......... -if a ball of sentient gas could flush he could be flushing hardcore- -stammering, getting more and more embarrassed-

Kitomyx
Izaya: No matter what you do, you're going to hurt someone else, so there's no point in worrying about that, don't you think?
Twins: -Look at Maki-
Mairu: -glances at him and giggles-
Kururi: <...too much...love...>
Delic: -chimes melodiously- -sighs-

Sey
Adam: -thinking about Delic and all that he is going through. And what Izaya had said. Swallows roughly, still not sure what he is going to do. Rubs his face and shifts. Gets out of his bed and takes off his shoes. Climbs into his own bed and lays down beside Izaya, wrapping an arm around him- I know you're right, but I... I never wanted to.. -sighs- to be so callous. But I am sometimes. Thinking about it, I am a lot. I don't get me, Iz...
Manny: -moved out of the way so Adam could move. Looks at Delic and sighs- -frowns at them- -looks at Delic and licks him lightly-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -stiffens slightly- You're still a teenager. Most of the world doesn't get you. -turns over and sits up, sighing- Look at it this way. You're just as likely to upset someone with your choices as you are to make someone else happy.
Delic: -watches the humans- -Shakes his head and makes a soft bell noise equivilent to 'tsk'ing-
Delic: -Looks back at Manny and brightens, amused by the lick- -smiles- -winks-

Sey
Adam: -holds onto Iza's arm, not about to let him escape- ... What about making those who matter to you happy? Or is it better to just be all about yourself?
Manny: -looks at Adam, clearly worried- -blinks- -inspects to make sure he's okay-

Kitomyx
Iza: -frowns briefly before looking at Adam with a deadpan stare- All humans matter to me. Just not as individuals. If I worried about every single person's opinion of every single thing I did, wouldn't that be enough to drive anyone mad?
Delic: -laughs with bell chimes and teases Manny with consoling strokes- -looks thoughtful-

Sey
Adam: Yeah. It would drive you nuts. -sits up and wraps his arms around Iza in a hug, thinking about everything. Mutters- but I'm not asking about you. Not even in a roundabout way. I'm asking about me.
Manny: -can't tell if he's being teased or is getting stroked. Flushing again as best he can- -floats back sloooowly-

Kitomyx
Iza: -staaaaares at- Who could possibly matter to you as a person who believed you had no choice but to join Team Rocket or die?
Delic: -laughs-

Sey
Adam: If you don't smile or relax, your face will remain that taunt and stiff. -teasing him- That question only has one answer, since only one person knows my circumstances. -sighs softly and lays his head on Izaya's shoulder- You're missing what I'm asking, though. But you've answered it, somehow. I'm still confused, but not as much anymore. Not nearly as much.
Manny: -decides that escaping and going back to the group is the safest route- -floats down and nestles beside Kururi-

Kitomyx
Izaya: Are you saying that you would care about anyone who knows or found out about your circumstances? -watches Adam out the corner of his eye- It's better to just worry about yourself. It saves others the trouble of worrying about you, too, because they can trust you do everything with your own best interests at heart.
Delic: -amused-

Sey
Adam: -surprised he hasn't gotten shoved off yet- No. It's not... a direct coorelation. If I have enough trust to tell someone why, then I already am close enough. That's all. -sighs- I don't know how to worry about me. When I do, I just get worn out. So I don't. It makes my life easier. Happier.

Kitomyx
Izaya: You're putting your trust in the wrong person. -looks away- We're not any closer than I am with any other human. You just gave me your information more willingly is all. -waves a hand- Fine, then live a carefree, lazy, stupid life until you die. At least it will have been 'happy'.
Adam: You're looking for anything you can grasp at to shove me away. Any small flaw that you can work with... You know that doesn't work. I don't know why you keep trying to do it. -frowns at him and sighs- No, Izaya, I don't trust anyone who knows my circumstances. It's all up in the government databases and that s**t is easy enough to hack and take info out of. I am sure every one of the upper echelon rockets knows my crap inside and out. -shifts a little bit so he can see him better- You gave me YOUR information willingly too, remember? And don't try to throw up the 'exchange' bullshit. I gave that freely and smart business sense means keeping your cards to your chest. You didn't have to do that, but you chose to, to explain something to me and help me understand you better. -quiet- I hate having to do this every time I try to talk to you. It's like the minute your walls come down you're back to building them ten times stronger. What are you so afraid of? Some drunk teenager is going to hurt you?
Izaya: -chuckles darkly- What do you mean, you don't know why I keep trying to do it? I thought you knew all about me. At the very least, I thought you'd understand someone's need to take measures to protect themself. -smirks- That may all have been a lie to get you to shut up and leave me alone. Maybe I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known it would have just made you more annoying than ever.
Izaya: In my experience, anyone can hurt you. So you always have to keep your guard up. Especially around those who seem the least harmful.

Sey
Adam: -just stares at him blankly- You know what you need right now? A cat. A cat that you can stroke and cackle madly. Mairu, here ki ki kitty. -snaps his fingers and makes clicking sounds with his mouth- Come here and help your master. -looks back at Iza- It'll complete this.... this... -pulls arms forward and motions at Iza- Weird sinister brooding bad guy thing you're trying to pull off. Cackle evilly and say 'puny human I love you but your feelings are meeeeaninglessssssss' -sighs- Yes -monotones- you totally fed me bullshit lies. -stops- I know that, Izaya. I get that. -gruffly sighs- Because we both know that, we could be close. No, I don't know all about you. I hardly know s**t about you, and regardless what you think, you don't know everything about me either. That's life. -pokes his nose- But you don't need to know or understand someone completely to be close to them.

Kitomyx:
Mairu: -perks her ears and looks at the other pokemon curiously before going over to crawl up next to Adam, staring at Iza's back but not going near him-
Izaya: ...Do I need to spell it out for you?

Sey
Adam: If it doesn't involve -counts them off on his fingers- "I love everyone" "I don't want friends" "I moonlight as an evil villain in most movies", then yeah. Please do.
Adam: -pets Mairu- Good girl


 

[Magician Arcana]

Kitomyx
Izaya: How about 'I don't want to be close'? To /anyone/?
Mairu: -purrs and shoves up against his hand-

Sey
Adam: -groans- Okay, forgot that one. Anything else? -scratches behind her ear-

Kitomyx
Izaya: If you get it, why won't you leave me the hell alone?

Sey
Adam: .... -smirks- You gave me bad advice, is why.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -turns to frown at him- What?

Sey
Adam: You can't worry about everyone's opinion, even those you care about. -closes his eyes and mutters- I should feel free, as a member of Team Rocket, to be selfish and an a*****e. -grins at him wolfishly- Careful what you say. I AM an impressionable teen, after all.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -grumbles- Maybe it's your fault for letting yourself be impressioned by a Rocket treading water.

Sey
Adam: -closes his eyes and chuckles- Maaaybe.

Kitomyx
Izaya: 'bad advice' is subjective.
Izaya: But that just proves that if you know what's good for you, you'll leave me alone.

Sey
Adam: ... -laughs and tickles his sides- I meant bad for YOU, koibito. Damn.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Huh?
Izaya: -squirms unhappily away- What are you talking about?

Sey
Adam: -frowns- Are you not ticklish? Damn. -sighs- I meant your bad advice was bad to you, not to me.
Adam: -grins- So you're right. It is subjective. We agree on something.

Kitomyx
Izaya: That would imply you know what's good for me. And I'd highly doubt that when you don't even seem to know what's good for yourself.

Sey
Adam: -thinking- I guess that's true, but I'm going off of the things you've said. No friends, no closeness, etc etc. So in that case, this is bad for you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: I've /always/ been better off without those things.

Sey
Adam: Right. So... Your advice. Bad for you. Good for me. Are you getting this yet? I can make a diagram if you want.

Kitomyx
Izaya: It's not bad for me! Why would I do anything against my best interests?

Sey
Adam: Because it's subjective! Arrgggh! -pulls at his hair- You are so dense sometimes. -grasps at him to hug again-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -grits his teeth but doesn't bother to pull away since he knows Adam will just do it again- No, the term 'bad' is subjective. What is detrimental to my /health/ is not. Got it?!

Sey
Adam: That makes no sense. What? -squints at him and then just suction cup hugs him-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -scowls- It makes perfect sense, you're just too stupid or stubborn to understand. Maybe both. Being close to other people is hazardous to my health and often theirs. I know this from experience and multiple close calls. For me.

Sey
Adam: I'm not saying that's wrong. I wasn't saying health I... -sighs and growls softly- Never mind. It's a moot point. The end result is screw your rules, I'm still going to be your friend, that's that. -rests his head on his shoulder again-

Kitomyx
Izaya: So you want to throw your - /our/ - lives away so easily?

Sey
Adam: -mutters softly- No. I'll protect 'em.

Kitomyx
Izaya: You can't protect them if you're dead. Idiot.

Sey
Adam: Then I won't let you die, smartass.

Kitomyx
Izaya: You really think it's that easy, don't you? -sighs- You'll find out soon enough.

Sey
Adam: Nothing is easy, but I think its worth the fight. -sounds amused- No comments about manhandling?

Kitomyx
Izaya: ...actually, no.
Izaya: I'm not going to wait until you find out the hard way because then I'll be suffering too.
Izaya: And I'm not about to let you hurt me just because you're too moronic to understand.
Izaya: -shoots his leg out to kick Adam off the bed and sit up-

Sey
Adam: Huh? You know I really am not an idiot. Just because I -- AH ******** ; -kicked off as he wasn't expecting that. Lands on the ground, but catches himself on his elbows- What the ********, dude?

Kitomyx Izaya: gets up and dusts himself up, glaring at Adam on the floor before taking a breath and sighing, regaining his composure- Imagine for a moment I was your friend.

Sey
Adam: -thinking: are we roleplaying?- Uhm... Okay?

Kitomyx
Izaya: -leans forward to look him in the eye, sticking his hands in his pockets- Now imagine either of us got into trouble. Then what?

Sey
Adam: -tensing because he knows the knife could be in either pocket- Okay? -staring back at him-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -smiles emotionlessly- What would happen?

Sey
Adam: We'd try to help the other person...?

Kitomyx
Izaya: Very good. But there are only two of us and hundreds of Rockets. So then what?

Sey
Adam: Your hypothetical situation has a lot of gaps in it, you know? What type of trouble? Am I? Or you? and why are we suddenly Us vs the Rockets? Not that I'm against that sort of a setup, but yeah the deck is pretty ******** stacked against us in that favor.

Kitomyx
Izaya: It doesn't matter. None of that matters. Because that's what the situation practically already is. -smile disappears- I'm in hot water. I do one thing wrong and they'll want to terminate me. The only thing that might try to stop them would be a fool like you.

Sey
Adam: .. Are you implying you WANT to be killed?

Kitomyx
Izaya: NO, I'm saying IF it were to come to that - and who knows the odds, given my track record - what would you do?!

Sey
Adam: What else could I do? I'd try to change the ruling!

Kitomyx
Izaya: Which might make them believe you're sympathizing with a traitor and want to kill you too.

Sey
Adam: Then so be it.
Adam: -kicks out his leg abruptly, attempting to connect with Izaya's knee to knock him over-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -face contorts with anger but before he can get words out of his mouth, he falls to the floor, cursing loudly and accidentally biting his lip so it bleeds-
Izaya: No, NOT 'so be it'! What would that even accomplish?

Sey
Adam: -lunges forward and grasps his shoulder, attempting to pin Iz to the floor- What would that accomplish? Saving your ******** life for starters, if it works! Saving someone I care for. Doing something decent with this s**t pot existence I've been living.

Kitomyx
Iza: -eyes widen as he's pinned, startled, before kicking at Adam's stomach to get him off- That's where you're missing things.

Sey
Adam: URGH. -coughs and gasps loudly at the kick. Struggling to move his position to get his legs pinned- God we...should not do this... with... full stomachs.. -panting softly- What am I missing? Do so enlighten me, God of all humans.

Kitomyx
Iza: You picked the fight. I'm just going with the flow~ -smiles insincerely and attempts to shrug- IF we were friends, Addi-chii, and if you attempted to go through with your 'oh-so-noble' plan, did you ever consider where it would leave the person you died for?

Sey
Adam: -panting softly. Shakes his head- I can't do your twisted logic... Izaya, first of all, this was you were going to DIE and I was trying to save you, from rockets. So there would be no other person I left in this situation. If it failed, we'd both be dead. Or I'd be alive and you'd be dead. -swallows hard and glares at him- I know what you're getting at. I understand it, okay? but I'm not an Aila and I'm not going to just get offed trying to save your sorry a**. -hisses out softly- Now we're going to do another scenario. Imagine you became a rocket because it was become a rocket or die. You had literally nothing to your name and you were so ******** fargone that jumping off a bridge seemed like a better alternative than sleeping on an empty stomach. You become a rocket and act like the perfect ******** recruit. No issues. No problems. Nothing. But your first roommate, you try to give a positive impression. And you know what that ******** does? He FLINGS himself at you. -practically snarling, leaning in closer- If you think for a goddamn second I am going to give up on the one person who has broken through my shell in yeaaaaars and brought me back from despair with sheer stupidity, then you are dead. wrong.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -looks like he was slapped in the face at the mention of Aila's name- ... -laughs hysterically- Broke through your /shell/? By what, jumping you?

Sey
Adam: -grits his teeth- You are so. ********. stupid. -really wanting to shut Izaya up, close enough as is. At wits end and does what he can to get the irritating laughter to stop. Kisses him-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -flinches and shoves him away as if burned, racing out the door without looking back as if he's on fire-
Delic: -watches stunned, not having seen Izaya that way before-
Kururi: -comes to join Mairu next to Adam, looking up at him and rubbing against his legs-

Sey
Adam: -slams his head against the floor- I am. so. ********. stupid. -looks at the cats and then at Delic- ... ******** it. I should go after him,. ******** it. ******** ******** fuuuuuuuuuck. -stands up- I RUIN EVERYTHING. SCREW IT. -running out the door-

Kitomyx
Twins: -watch Adam in concern and curiosity-
Delic: -looks up with a sad face, wishing he could comfort Adam but not knowing what to do or say-

Sey
Manny: ....

Kitomyx
Mairu:
Kururi: <...Crying...>
Delic:
Delic: -looks at Manny and Maki-

Sey
Maki:
Manny: .... -shakes his head-


Kitomyx
Izaya: -huddled in a corner of a pitch black rec room-

Sey
Adam: -getting out of breath, feeling nauseous and like he might puke. Worn out already from the walk to and from the city, then the fighting, and now this. Panting, leaning against the wall- ******** me.. ******** me... Izaya please no. -swallows and shuffles forward, not about to call his name for fear it'll alert rockets there is something wrong. Not that a winded, bruised, and bloody lipped teen didn't cue them in at first- Okay.... Where would he go. -thinking- Showers? No. Janitors closet? No... too confined... -blinks- Rec room? -goes to see that first. Getting there and opening the door. And it's pitch black inside- ... Son of a b***h. You're not.. going to go... easy on me... -steps inside to the edge of the light, feeling terror crawl up inside him. Stares out at the dark. Bites his lower lip and then calls softly- Izaya? Are you there? I'm sorry.

Kitomyx
Izaya: GO AWAY. -voice breaks-

Sey
Adam: .... -looks down at the ground and then back at the door. Shaking as he slowly pushes it shut and covers himself in darkness. Holds onto the knob, speaking slowly- I.... I know... I hurt you... I'm sorry.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -curled up, body wracked with silent sobs- http://i99.beon.ru/i062.radikal.ru/1310/55/94d729f4cb65.jpg NO YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T HAVE A ******** CLUE! -throws his blade at the door, embedding it, before being unable to quiet his crying any longer- https://41.media.tumblr.com/02bcf073abe141b57b012f1f67b8148f/tumblr_mt1c3tQ44V1rmxplyo1_500.jpg You...you don't have any idea what it's like to live with this...guilt...I hate her. I HATE HER AND I CAN'T EVEN TELL HER!
Izaya: She doesn't know what she's done to me...no one does...AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET YOU DO IT TO ME TOO!

Sey
Adam: -so glad he didn't drink much because he would have just pissed himself when the blade goes into the door. Falls down on his a**, breathing heavy. Listening to him- Iz... -flinches at his voice. Heart constricts from what he's saying, especially the guilt part. tearing up- Izaya... -staring out at the darkness, shaking. Slowly stands up and shuffles forward in his direction, from the direction of his voice- You don't hate her.. if you did... you wouldn't be guilty feeling. -clear from his voice he's crying too- Tell me. Tell the room. Let it out. -panting softly, frozen in place for a moment. Has a sudden dread and vertigo. Doesn't know where the door is anymore and is lost. Stands stock still and listens to Iz's crying, letting it act like a signal for where to go. Slowly edging forward-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shakes his head and swallows hard, burying his face against his thighs, knees drawn up to his chest as he hugs his legs with painful tightness- There's a thin line... -voice croaks, hoarse from crying and yelling- ...between love...and hate... -sniffs and wipes his face on the back of his hand before getting to his feet and loosely grabbing Adam's arm on the way to the door-

Sey
Adam: -shaking from head to toe, barely able to move forward now, but pushing as hard as he can for Izaya- I... know... -internal demons starting to rise. Yelps and jumps when Izaya touches him, but quickly knows who it is. Latches onto him. Hugs onto Izaya, whispering- I'm sorry. -still shaking, clutching onto him tightly- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shivers lightly before continuing to walk, guiding them outside-

Sey
Adam: -allows himself to be led out, holding onto him tightly-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -doesn't look at him as he yanks his flickblade out of the door and shuts it- If you were really sorry, you'd leave me alone. -starts walking back to their room-

Sey
Adam: -following him sluggishly and silently back to their room-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -continues to walk back in silence before returning all his pokemon to their pokeballs and flopping limply on his bed-

Sey
Adam: -returns Maki, Flicker, and Manny. Standing in the center of their room. Looks over at Iza, opens his mouth and reaches out, but doesn't speak and slowly withdraws his hand. Slowly and cumbersomely takes off his clothes, down to his boxers. Leaves them in a pile and stares at them- I didn't mean to make you cry.. -tearing up, whispering softly with intense self loathing- I ******** up everything. -steps closer to Iz on the bed and touches his shoulder gingerly, as if he might snap-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -doesn't flinch-

Sey
Adam: -not sure what to do. Bows his head, eyes closed. Whispers softly- it took me a long time to understand... the line of love and hate. They'd send me to therapy, but it wasn't... until I was almost out of highschool... That I understood I hadn't... done anything wrong. I hadn't asked for it. It wasn't my fault. -swallows hard- I was ashamed I hadn't fought it. I was so scared. He'd close the blinds and turn off the light. It'd be dark and. -exhales sharply- I'm still afraid of the dark. Of that monster. -gently squeezes his shoulder, trying to collect himself- information for information.

Kitomyx
Izaya: ... -stares sullenly ahead into the dark, not gazing at anything in particular as tears still p***k the corners of his eyes- http://data1.whicdn.com/images/12102087/original.jpg -speaks in an even, monotonous tone- I know that already. The difference between us is that you /haven't/ done anything wrong. But I /have/.

Sey
Adam: -gently tugs on his shoulder, wanting him to roll over. Whispers softly- We still have to figure out how to forgive ourselves.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -winces- The person I need to forgive me is gone. Simple as that. You still have a chance for your own redemption.

Sey
Adam: -laughs weakly- If I ever see that monster, I'd probably piss myself and have a flashback. -takes a deep breathing and reaches down. Gently holds his hand- I meant forgiving yourself, not asking for it from A... from the person. Finding it in yourself.

Kitomyx
Izaya: As if that would do me any good. -turns his head- If your past haunts you that much, you should get rid of it.

Sey
Adam: How do you get rid of your childhood...? -smiles weakly. Looks down- I'm not preaching at you, man. But I'm here for you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Destroy everything that reminds you of it.

Sey
Adam: I wish it were that simple. I almost did. -smiles sadly at him- And that's why I chose TR. Cause I was going to die, one way or another.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Don't talk like that.

Sey
Adam: Sorry. -quiet- It's just not that easy for me. Wish it was.

Kitomyx
Izaya: I'm really sick of hearing you say 'sorry' when you're not sorry at all.

Sey
Adam: -sighs and pulls his hand back. Sits down on the edge of his bed, not making a move to touch Iz- You know what I meant. -rubs his face- I said the truth, but I'm sorry saying it bothered you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: I don't believe that. If you really wanted, you could have found some other way to survive - sobered up and maybe earned money through pokemon battles. If I can make money from simply listening and watching and selling what I hear and observe, you could have made your own way. But that's not what bothers me.

Sey
Adam: I guess when you're desperate and alone you don't see any other way. -looks over his shoulder- Hmm..? What is bothering you?

Kitomyx
Izaya: Now that you have a chance at a second life, you're still delusional enough to be fine with throwing it away for what you believe would be the sake of someone else.

Sey
Adam: -looks forward- I can't make you see this as sane, so I won't try. Maybe it is delusional? I'm chasing some guy who has told me, yelled at me, stabbed at me, that he doesn't want to be my friend. But I just ignore it. It's ******** stupid, if you look at it that way. -closes his eyes- It's not like I haven't struggled with that either. But every time I try to back away, I just can't. I have fun with you. I enjoy you. And I don't want to give that up.

Kitomyx
Izaya: There are plenty of other people to have fun with. Even to yell and stab at you if you're into that sort of thing. Go bother them instead.

Sey
Adam: It's not the same.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Why?

Sey
Adam: I don't know. Because you're unique. No one is quite like you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: No one that you've met, anyway. Go annoy Aulus or piss off Frost and you'll find more fun than you can stand.

Sey
Adam: Are you trying to insinuate that the great and mighty Izaya-kun, lover of humans, isn't special? -teasing softly-

Kitomyx
Izaya: Not in the way that you want me to be.

Sey
Adam: -quiet, feeling his shoulders stiffen as he leans forward. Takes a deep breath in and lets it out. Speaking softly- Let's say I got other friends. What makes you think I wouldn't feel this strongly towards them, Izaya? I'd want to protect them too. -murmurs- You told me you got Celty cause you wanted to see if ghost pokemon were the souls of people and pokemon. To see if there was an afterlife. But when I said Aila was sad you were so upset at her service, you told me there was no afterlife. Is it so hard for you to believe in something other than yourself?

Kitomyx
Iza: -visibly stiffens- There's no real way to prove anything as of yet.

Sey
Adam: Don't... -voice cracks. Takes another deep breath, trying to keep himself from crying. Swallows it down- Don't avoid what I am saying. It's not just the afterlife thing. People, the afterlife... I... -groans- Look dude I'm emotionally shot right now. I can't think of all instances.
Adam: The point is, you don't believe in anything or anyone, but yourself. Except you do. But you try to down play it or hide it or pretend not to.

Kitomyx
Izaya: ...
Izaya: Maybe you should just stop talking because you're not making any sense.

Sey
Adam: -wavers, since he's not sure if he is making sense or not. Tears p***k at the corner of his eyes- No. Stop ignoring what I am saying.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Then get to your point.

Sey
Adam: I already did. I've said it so many times. -voice wavers at that. Puts his head in his hands and tries to regain control of his emotions- You don't believe in anything other than yourself, and you try to pretend no one matters, but there are people who matter. If I get other friends, there's a chance I could still die trying to protect them too. Does it only bother you if it's in relation to you? Do I really matter so very little to you? -wishing he could take that back, tears rolling down his cheeks-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -grits his teeth- What you do is your business. Humans do as they will and I'm not so good a person as to try to stop them if they want to die, no matter the reason. No human is greater or lesser than the rest to me.

Sey
Adam: That's a lie. -wipes his eyes- Delic told me you would make people hate you so they'd keep living.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shuts his eyes- And what the hell does that love-blinded fool know?! He's deluding himself, and you're the same! Why can't you just accept that maybe there's nothing else behind what you keep thinking is a mask?!

Sey
Adam: -winces at his yelling, looking nervously over his shoulder at him, but then looks back down again. Closes his eyes and whispers, holding his hands together tightly- Because I've seen behind the mask.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -swallows hard and fights to keep his voice steady, uttering in a dangerously low voice- There's nothing there.

Sey
Adam: -body taunt from that voice, stomach sinking- Liar.

Kitomyx
Izaya: ...Keep telling yourself that, koibito. -utters a harsh laugh- Wanting so desperately to be accepted, no longer alone or abandoned...isn't that the /real/ reason you joined this organization? In the hopes that you might make enough out of yourself to get someone to like you - love you? To prove to yourself you weren't the worthless scum you're certain you were?

Sey
Adam: Don't bounce your s**t back onto me.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Oh? I wasn't the one tossed about from foster home to foster home, so lost and abandoned that it took the sick love of a pervert to make me feel wanted.

Sey
Adam: -stops breathing for a second- What do you mean by the last part?

Kitomyx
Izaya: What do you think I meant? -sits up to look at him, a sick smile on his face- You enjoyed it, didn't you? Isn't that why it messed you up so badly? Why you blamed yourself? Because deep down, though you feel you shouldn't have, you /liked/ it?

Sey
Adam: -stands up and slowly backs away. Looking at Izaya, but it's clear he's not seeing him- N.. No. No... Don't.... -chest starting to heave as a panic attack hits, pulse racing. Screams, blood curdling and terrified as he hits his bed and tumbles into it. Scrambles back into the corner against the wall, legs scrunched to his chest as he screams again, this time more muffled- NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. -sobbing uncontrollably at this point, completely and utterly out of it. Stress from the night and having already faced the darkness before leaving him emotionally fragile. Iza saying that was the final push into a full blown panic attack and flashback-

Kitomyx
Izaya: ... -watches, face hard, before looking away, closing his eyes to focus on something else, but finding it hard to block out Adam's voice and sounds- ... -kicks at something-
Riviere's ball: -is kicked onto the floor and rolls toward Adam before opening up-
Riviere: -appears to see Adam in his state, shocked and frightened, glancing between Izaya and Adam until realizing Izaya is purposely shutting himself out-
Riviere: -whimpers, putting up his palms in an attempt to be comforting before realizing he can do better and immediately taking on the form of a short, young teenage girl with calm pink eyes who slowly approaches Adam with a concerned expression-

Sey
Adam: -still screaming and crying, begging whatever is happening in his mind to stop. Starting to hyperventilate, squeezing himself into a tighter ball. Noticing the human shape- NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! -voice breaks, clearly terrified. Shoves himself tighter against the wall- HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME PLEASE. HELP ME. PLEASE NO. PLEASE NO. -gasping out sobs- HELP ME. PLEASE HELP ME. I'M SO SORRY. ILL BE GOOD. I'LL BE GOOD. I'LL BE GOOD. HEEELP. NO NO NO.

Kitomyx
Riviere: -hesitates, frowning slightly, before kneeling and moving to give Adam a hug-

Sey
Adam: -lashes out, shoving at Riv. Sobbing broken heartedly. Mentally jumping back to the last moment he was in the dark- Izaya, where are you? Please! Don't leave me. Don't leave me.

Kitomyx
Riviere: -shoved back, startled, before reverting to his true form and looking at Izaya-
Izaya: -curled up in his own corner, fists clenched, pretending not to hear or see-
Rivere: -looks sad, then looks back at Adam before taking on Izaya's form- ...? -reaches out to touch Adam's shoulder gingerly-

Sey
Adam: -jolts from the touch. Looks relieved when he sees Izaya. Wraps his arms around him and clings, sobbing into his chest-

Kitomyx
Riviere: -smiles sadly and pats Adam's back-
Izaya: -looks up at the sight and gets up, leaping toward them in the blink of an eye- Riviere. Not that one. -glares at his pokemon- No more.
Riviere: -looks pathetically at Iza and then at Adam and back again, meaningful-
Iza: -kicks Riviere's side hard, causing the Zoroark to yelp and revert his form, retreating back into his ball-

Sey
Adam: IZAYA! -cries out in shock as the Iza he's holding is gone, poof. Shaking, seeing him again. Grasps onto his wrist, clutching onto it desperately- Don't go, don't go, please don't go this time.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -watches him coldly before crouching beside him-

Sey
Adam: -wraps himself around Iz, crying against his shoulder-

Kitomyx
Izaya: You think you're safe with me?

Sey
Adam: -whispers softly- You're safe. I was so scared you ran and I ******** everything up, but you're safe and okay. You're not hurt. You're safe.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shivers and shoves him away- You're wrong. You /did/ ******** everything up.

Sey
Adam: -gasps in, falling back onto his bed- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm sorry.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -looks at Adam, face briefly betraying fear- Don't say that.

Sey
Adam: BUT I AM. I'M SORRY. I AM SORRY. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.

Kitomyx
Izaya: ... -goes over to Adam, face softening before going blank- Maybe we should make sure of that.

Sey
Adam: -wraps around him again since he's in distance- How? How?

Kitomyx
Izaya: -keeps expressionless as he glances down at Adam's clothes, slowly slipping his hands behind the teen and down his pants- Maybe you need to be taught a lesson.

Sey
Adam: W-what kind of a less - Aah! -shivers from the cold fingers and ring- W-what are you doing?
Adam: -whimpers- I shouldn't have kissed you. You're my friend. I'm sorry.

Kitomyx
Izaya: We're not friends, koibito. -corner of his mouth quirks up in a mirthless, crooked half-smile- But we can be lovers if you want so badly to be close to me. -slowly slides a finger down the center of Adam's crack-

Sey
Adam: -chokes out- I have a boyfriend.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -pauses, not looking up, before continuing- So?

Sey
Adam: And you do too. Stop that. -grabs at the arm, trying to stop it-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -mouth twitches, irritated- I don't.
Izaya: So you have your boyfriend to please you, is that what you're saying? You don't need me, then?

Sey
Adam: Delic. -keeps trying to push his hand out- What, NO! I need you. You're my friend. You make me happy. Why do you think I came in here? I hate the dark. It makes me so scared. But I came in here because I was worried you were hurt. I wanted to help you. Even if it hurt me.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shoves Adam back with his body- Delic is not my boyfriend. You're not my friend. I'm obviously not hurt. So why is it you're afraid of the dark? -puts his other hand up Adam's shirt to pinch his n****e- Don't know what's lurking?

Sey
Adam: -on his back now, keeping a hand between them- You let him live at your place. You kept him out of this for his own good. -shudders at the pinch. Yelps and swats at his hand. Swallows hard, shaking his head- You know why I am afraid. I told you. -trying to take his hand out- You were hurt. You were crying. And you were sad. Cause I was stupid.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Adam...if I rape you right here and now, what, if anything, would make me different from the man who abused you before?

Sey
Adam: -puts his hand down, lying in submission. Staring at him squarely, eyes red from crying- You wouldn't, because that's not who you are.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Want to try me?

Sey
Adam: -stares at him, not sure what's happening. Closes his eyes- I love you, Iz.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -flinches- I thought you said you had a boyfriend.

Sey
Adam: You can love more than one person.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Or are you saying that's me?
Izaya: ...-chuckles- True.
Izaya: But then who's to say you didn't love the person who abused you?

Sey
Adam: ... -opens his eyes again, welling with tears- I did. He was my Dad. I trusted him.

Kitomyx
Izaya: You say that like you stopped.

Sey
Adam: Trusting him? Or Loving him? No.. I don't love him. He broke me. And nothing can fix that. -looks to the side-

Kitomyx
Izaya: So if I did the same, you'd stop loving me, too. Wouldn't you? -uses a finger to tap the side of Adam's head-

Sey
Adam: I... Dunno... -quiet- Probably? But you wouldn't do that. That's not you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: You think you know me better than I do?

Sey
Adam: No. I don't. -wraps his arms around Iza and tries to pull him into a hug-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -stiffens again before falling limp-

Sey
Adam: -holds him closely- I don't know you very well, but I want to know you more.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shakes with silent sobs before wrenching himself away, wiping his face on his sleeve before heading toward the door-

Sey
Adam: -tries to scoot into a sitting position, reaching for him- Come back, please.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -stops before he reaches the door- ...Why?

Sey
Adam: You're sad. I hurt you again. And I need you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: The more you do this, the more it hurts! Don't you get that?!

Sey
Adam: No.. I don't. Why does it hurt? I don't get it. I don't understand this.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Caring, friendship, love - all those things hurt, moron! Why do you think I never let myself get too close?

Sey
Adam: But why does it hurt? Why did you never let yourself get too close?

Kitomyx
Izaya: Because if you get too attached to others, that's it. Game over. You might as well not have a reason to live anymore because they become your purpose instead.

Sey
Adam: Can't you incorporate them? People can be important to you, but you don't have to make your very being about them. -yawns softly- That sounds unhealthy. -closes his eyes- You're my friend. I care about you, man. But I have a boyfriend, and I care about him too. And sibs who I can't talk to anymore cause I'm a Rocket, but I love them too... You're all important to me. And sure, losing one hurts, a ******** lot, but that doesn't mean as a person I am gone. I am destroyed.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Getting close to people at all is unhealthy. It may start with something small, like just worrying for someone's health, but that doesn't mean it won't grow. That boyfriend of yours, for example, doesn't sound like he's a Rocket and is therefore probably going to pay for the act of caring for one. Whether you want him to or not.

Sey
Adam: Yeah... I know. It's dangerous. -groans softly as he pulls himself from his bed, bone tired- It can grow, and it can hurt when they're gone, but you ******** heal man. Even if it takes years. You heal eventually and it... it's life. But having people 'round it... it makes like better. -shuffles closer and gently lays a hand on his back-

Kitomyx
Izaya: ... -continues walking out the door, not looking back- I prefer keeping people at a safe distance. I'd rather not be hurt at all than to risk the possibility of never being able to heal some wounds.

Sey
Adam: Iza, please come back. -grabs at him if he can-

Kitomyx
Izaya: What do you WANT from me?!

Sey
Adam: I dunno! I dunno... I want to sleep with you in bed cause I just... I want you safe and okay and we can have fun. I'm so tired of this. -sighs shakily- Why are you sad? What is making you sad?

Kitomyx
Izaya: -glares at him- Rockets aren't Rockets to have fun. You became a Rocket to survive, didn't you? So focus on that and keep away from me.

Sey
Adam: I don't want to. I want to be near you. That's what I decided... To be near to you. -loosens his grip on Izaya, though still holding into him. looking worn out and exhausted- I just wish I knew how to make you not so sad...

Kitomyx
Izaya: By leaving me alone. -refusing to look at him- You have a boyfriend, ne? Go be near /him/. I'm sure he'd much more appreciate it.

Sey
Adam: -quiet for a moment- You're more important to me.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -laughs harshly- Why? Because I want you to stay away and you're a stubborn, hard-headed rebel of a moron?

Sey
Adam: -grins and laughs weakly- guilty as charged. -steps closer and leans down, resting his head on Iza's shoulder- Because you're Izaya, and I love Izaya.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Heh. So you only have him because you can't have me.

Sey
Adam: -murmurs- I'm too scared to say anything. And he's cute and great, but I feel more connected to you.

Kitomyx
Iza: Why?

Sey
Adam: You're so much... Better. Out of my league and I don't know how to approach this without destroying everything. Destroying what we have, and my own happiness. -gently strengthens his hold- I don't want to lose you. Akira is great, but I'm a Rocket... It can't last long. But you... You're here with me, and I can't get enough of you.

Kitomyx
Izaya: Can't destroy anything if there's nothing to destroy. -frowns slightly at the strength of his hold- Well, at least you seem to be smart enough to know better than the 'forbidden love' thing. But I wonder if this Akira is perfectly fine with these feelings of yours.
Izaya: Some might even call it two-timing. Or are you just playing with him?

Sey
Adam: -chuckles softly- you say there's nothing, but there is. -quiet for a moment, remorseful sounding- I didn't know until tonight. Otherwise I wouldn't have dated him. I'm not mean. He's going to be so hurt... I wish I understood myself better.

Kitomyx
Izaya: -shakes head and waves a hand- Sounds right up our alley as Rockets. Hurting people. -tries to pull away-

Sey
Adam: -feels his hold loosen on his arm from the tugging. Legs lose their strength as he falls against Iza-

Kitomyx
Izaya: -grimaces in disgust- Are you really this pathetic you can't live without me close by, now?

Sey
Adam: -snores softly-

Kitomyx
Izaya: ... -stares at him incredulously- ... -sighs-
Izaya: -attempts to shove the taller grunt onto his bed before heading outside the room for some air-

Sey
Adam: -sprawls out and sleeps deeply-