[PRP] DON'T LICK THAT. [Gecko, Welcome Home Fair Hunter]

[Scaramouche Fandango]

Shaking the mud from her shoulders, Fair Hunter stepped gingerly over the mangrove root that marked the entrance to her grove. She smiled a grim, humorless smile as she surveyed her domain. Everything was as she'd left it. There was her stocked pond with snacks; there was her bed; there was her idiot, right where she'd left her. Gecko was essentially a fact of life now; she'd made something like peace with the knowledge that there was no getting rid of her. She'd tried snarling, snapping, chasing, throwing a shiny rock and then running away... no, Gecko was here to stay and that was the end of it. It was... it was tolerable. At the very least, she was quiet sometimes. Like now, which was odd- normally when she returned home, Gecko was bouncing all over the place, asking questions and babbling like some kind of overflowing brook. Snorting, Fair Hunter shook her head. When the chaos was orderly, something was wrong. It wasn't that she was interested or concerned about Gecko, but something might have happened that she should know about.

The kimeti doe had... something between her hooves. Something she was looking at very intently. She didn't want to come any closer- that might be mistaken for actual concern- but she was mildly curious enough to crane her neck and try to see what Gecko was fooling around with. Probably a rock or something like that, certainly nothing important. Alas, the angle was bad, too bad for her to see well. "What is that?" she said, the curiosity in her voice barely edging over her usual disdain. "If it's something of mine, put it back."  

[So Long Gay Bowser]

"Oh! I did not hear you come home, my friend! It is very good to see you!" Gecko chirped happily, her tail swishing with the obvious delight. She had not expected Fair Hunter home so soon- but this was a very good thing yes! It meant that Fair Hunter could meet her very good friend who she had lost for some time but had returned! He kind of did that. A lot. But that was okay! Because frogs were not very smart and so she was smart for him, and Fair Hunter was smart for her! It was a good circle.

Okay it might not be a circle but she was very close, yes.

"This is Frog, and he is a frog. He is very happy to meet you! I think." Gecko blinked, then leaned forward to her friend with a grin. In a mock-whisper, she added.

"I do not really know, but he always comes back! So I guess he likes me or something."

Gecko looked down upon the small creature fondly, and prodded him ever-so-gently with a hoof. The frog protested with a croak, and she laughed.

"I was just going to get him nice and clean!"  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

"Gecko, frogs can't be happy. They're frogs. Anyways, where did you even get a frog? There's not supposed to be frogs in here!" She glared in the direction of her stockpond. "Though they might make good additions to the pond..." She took another look at the beast between Gecko's hooves; perhaps she could eat it later. The bright colors, however, displayed the animal's vivid warning. Ugh. Of course she'd bring a poisonous animal home. "Oh for pity's sake, Gecko, you can't even eat that thing. Why bother cleaning it? It's a frog. How are you going to clean it anyways? It's a frog." Leave it to Gecko to bring home a snack you couldn't even eat. Somewhere deep down, Fair Hunter was completely convinced that Gecko would actually die of starvation without her around.  

[So Long Gay Bowser]

"You don't know that!" Gecko whined, her ears drooping. That was the meanest thing to say ever! Frogs had feelings! Anything with eyes and ears- did frogs have ears? Okay maybe that was not the point but that was fine, anyway! They had hearts. Frog had come back, so clearly Frog loved her! Frog loved her because he came back, just like Fair Hunter loved her and came back. That was how you showed someone you loved them. She made an unhappy noise when her friend mentioned eating it, and Gecko pulled Frog closer to her chest.

"Noooooooo! He's my friend, and you're not eating him! He is smart and nice and good." All friends were good. Gecko only had two friends, but she was pretty sure all friends were good friends. Her two were good! So it made sense they were all good, yes.

"I am going to clean him the same way I clean myself! OBViously," Gecko sighed, rolling her eyes. Duh! All things were cleaned the same way. Well, besides bathing! But Frog tended to just swim away to play on his own when put in the water. He was not very good at the cleaning thing, but that was okay. Gecko loved him anyway.

Sticking her tongue out, Gecko leaned down to begin grooming Frog.  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

As Gecko went to lick the frog, the scene played out before Fair Hunter, flashing through her eyes. First, Gecko would lick the frog. Then, Gecko would keel over dead. Then Fair Hunter would be stuck with a dead kimeti, a poisonous frog, and a heap of trouble. She'd have to find a place to ditch what was left of Gecko where it wouldn't make her home smell bad or attract scavengers or decompose and make her hunting grounds toxic. She'd have to figure out what to do with Gecko's random possessions- did the other kin even have any family? And she'd still have a poisonous frog thinking it was ok to hop around here. What if it got in her stockpond and poisoned her fish? No, she couldn't let this happen. Dying was a best-case scenario; if Gecko got sick, she'd whine and cry until Fair Hunter was forced to take care of her. What if the ridiculous creature wanted a lullaby or a story or something? Bluuugh. She couldn't let this happen, and a strangled yelp escaped her. There was no time- she had to tackle the kimeti. Leaping heroically into action, she headbutted the other kin in the side. "Gecko, what the hell! Are you DENSE? That's a poisonous frog! DON'T LICK THAT! You shouldn't even be keeping it!"  

[So Long Gay Bowser]

"I'm not keeping him! Frog always comes back, I told you! He just wandered off for a while!" Her tongue was still lolled out in preparation for the groomings, and Gecko wondered where her friend had gone, anyway. That was the worstest part of him not being able to talk- he didn't have any good stories! Imagine all of the cool things he had seen at his size! It was like- a whole different look at the swamp. And he could breathe water and stuff! How cool was that?! Fair Hunter was just DUMB and didn't understand.

"He's been my friend and I just wanna take care of him!" She whined, pulling Frog instinctively closer to her for protection. Whether or not Frog was actually intelligent and aware of the situation was left to debate- nonetheless, he scrambled closer to the warm doe and squashed himself beneath her fat for protection. Or warmth. It was difficult to say.

"Ssseeeeeee, you scared him! You can't just yell at frogs, they're soft!" Gecko legitimately pouted, curling her legs more protectively.

"You're so meeeeaaaaan sometimes."  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

"FOOL that you are," the acha exploded, "do you not know what poisonous means? Either you put that thing back where it came from, or so help me–" she froze, blinking, as she realized. The corners of her mouth turned down and her eyes narrowed as it slowly dawned on her.

...oh hell, did she not know what poisonous means?
 

[So Long Gay Bowser]

Used to Fair Hunter's yelling at this point, Gecko did not even flinch. Blinking slowly, she stared at her friend, thinking. Poisonous... Okay, she did. There was just a lot of yelling and being put on the spot! She looked between the acha and her frog, then the acha, then Frog... poisonous. Poy-son-us.

"...Yeeeeeesssss, it's just. He has been so nice and he is my friend and I love him!" She nodded, deciding that yes, that was a good distraction! "Don't you have anything that you love more than anything in world? Something that just makes you feel happy and smile and laugh?"

She batted her eyes at Fair Hunter, and beamed.

"Besides killing stuffs! That doesn't count cause it's not loving a thing that can love you back!"  

[Scaramouche Fandango]

Really? REALLY? She was going to pull the eyelid batting? Ugh. Fair Hunter shook her head and pretended to think. "I... love..." lowering her eyelids, she tensed her shoulders and headbutted Gecko in the side. "Peace and quiet. Sleep. The way my bed feels after a long day- there's no better embrace than soft moss and leaves. Bah, love. Who has time for love? Especially for a thing that doesn't love you back. Like a poisonous amphibian." But she looked at Gecko's face and saw the future... a future that included the frog. She heaved a sigh. "Look, I don't want you to lick poisonous frogs. I also don't want that thing in my stockpond, and you better keep it away from my caimans." The pack lived outside; there was a time and a place for animals, and that place was outside. Fair Hunter knew her pack was too smart to eat a poisonous frog, but she didn't want to take the chance that one of them would snap at it out of reflex. "They're too valuable to me to risk. Keep it quiet- you're responsible for it. If you can do all that, you can keep it." She didn't really want it around, but the alternative would have Gecko wailing for a week, and she wanted that even less.

 

[So Long Gay Bowser]

"The last time I checked, you do not speak frog, so I don't think you can say that Frog does not love me!" Gecko chided, clearly too pleased with herself for her supposed victory. But still, in a way, she had won! Fair Hunter was talking on things that she liked and loved and that was good too! And her very bestest friend no longer was mad at her frog! Beaming from ear to ear, Gecko wagged her tail enthusiastically.

"Yaaaaaaaay!!! Oh, thank you, Hunter! You won't regret it at all, nope!" She squealed, scrambling to stand up. Frog, now exposed to the world with his owner standing, had the decency to look confused and mortified... though perhaps that was simply Frog's normal face. Who knew, after all, with frogs?

"He will not go into your stock pond I promise! I mean. I don't even get to go in there anymore!" That was the theory anyway. Gecko still delighted in terrorizing the fishes of the pond, but Fair Hunter did not need to know that part, nope! Besides- it was absolutely fantastically the PERFECT bathing spot for her!

"You are such a great and fantastic friend!"