[Fin] Not such a good evening

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Since you were a kid?" Abel interjected, but quickly quelled his disbelief. What kind of people would pull a kid into a place like that? ...probably the same kind of people who would pull a teenager into a place like that.

When Zevran finished his story - a story Abel had definitely not expected to hear when he'd asked such an innocuous question as 'why did you move here' - the taller blond was still trying to wrap his mind around it. The more he thought about it, the more an instinctive urge to shield and protect him blossomed and grew; a few more moments passed before he acted on it. Silently he set his half-empty coffee mug onto the bedside table, then wrapped his friend in his arms to hold him close. "I can understand why you left," he said at length, his voice gentle, "and I can sympathize. I'm sorry that happened - all of it. You don't have to talk about it anymore if you'd rather not." He'd said similar about answering the question in the first place, and Zevran had looked like he'd struggled to decide if he did or didn't want to share; ultimately he did, so maybe he'd still feel like sharing, but Abel couldn't fault him if he didn't feel like it.  

[TawnyAngel]

He wanted to reply with something witty and flippant to lighten the mood but his throat felt too tight to speak right away and then Abel pulled him close. There wasn't much point trying to lighten the mood was there? It wasn't a very light thing they were talking about, it weighed, pressed down on him, and constricted his chest. Talking about this had been a bad idea, he didn't want Abel to think less of him... but he didn't seem to. He had expected jabs about weakness, well no he hadn't really - not from Abel - but it felt like what ought to have happened.

"I don't know if I do or not," Zevran admitted eventually, his voice tight with controlled pent up emotion. "I don't know- I never expected to tell anyone about any of this." It had just been the way it was and he had been proud of it, proud that he had survived and thrived when others had not except in moments of doubt that he had always dismissed as weakness to be repressed. And now he was here curled in on himself on somebody else's bed, fully clothed and being comforted as though he was worth something.

"It was almost all I ever knew," Zevran continued eventually, his voice hesitant and still tense. "Having left it... I am unsure of what I am now, what I am supposed to do. Having a- a job, an apartment, bills, a life, I... I do not really know how to do any of that. Have I said that planning is not my strong suit? It's not. It was not my job to plan, I did as I was instructed and the rest took care of itself." It was October now and it was getting cold at night in the warehouse but he just kept on forcing himself not to think about it, to keep living each day for itself, because he had no idea how to do anything else. He always had been a coward that way.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Just hugging him didn't feel like enough, not with how just... No, it was too much. Abel's arms shifted; one lowered to Zevran's waist and the other slipped around under his knees, and with a bit of effort - he wasn't nearly as in shape as he used to be, after all - he pulled the shorter blond into his lap. With that done, he wrapped his arms around him again and held him close as he leaned back against the wall behind his bed. "I can sympathize there, too," he admitted somewhat ruefully. He'd never intended anyone to find out about his secrets, and then about his blackmailer; Taavi had found out about the latter, but he had absolutely no intention of letting him find out about the former. Ever.

The blond hummed softly for a few seconds, his gaze drifting up to the ceiling. "That sounds really tough." He had no idea... Of course he knew Zevran lived in the warehouse and he'd said he didn't really know how to live a normal life like other people did, but he didn't really know just why or the full extent of it. He probably still didn't, but he at least knew a part of it. "Well, you're my friend, for one. Taavi probably thinks of you as a friend too, knowing him. You have pokemon now, so that makes you a trainer too, so that's two things. Apart from that, it's probably best to try and take small steps, like maybe try to plan some small things. Winter's coming up, so you'll need to try and get better at planning by then, at least a little." Or else he'd be very cold come winter. Maybe he would be anyway... Hm.  

[TawnyAngel]

Zevran tensed when he was scooped up but only for a moment out of surprise; when Abel settled him into his lap he sank almost bonelessly against the taller man, save for one hand which knotted tightly in the fabric of Abel's shirt. It didn't occur to him to ask why exactly Abel could sympathise with what he was saying, his head was too full of his own racing thoughts and anxieties. Had he said too much? Could he say more? Did he want to? What was he going to do with another five, ten, twenty, thirty, or even more years? He had no idea of the answer to any of those questions but in all of it there was one comfort, it was currently holding him protectively.

"I don't know where to start on being better at planning but... but your friendship means a lot to me. I cannot properly say how much." He hoped that he was a good friend in return but he worried that he was not, that he didn't deserve this and soon somebody would notice the mistake and take it away again.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

While he'd hoped Zevran wouldn't mind - he didn't think he would, but he still wasn't entirely sure - he didn't expect him to practically melt into the embrace. The fact he did, and clung to his shirt so desperately, only made him hug his friend tighter and rest his cheek on top of his head. "I'm glad," he said earnestly, though he wasn't exactly sure what else to say. Maybe Zevran didn't even really need him to say anything. Maybe just holding him was enough. "You know I'll be there if you ever need me."  

[TawnyAngel]

He felt safe, which was a silly illusion but a welcome one just at the moment. "And I for you," Zevran replied softly. "To stand by your side should you need me I would storm the gates of hell itself, never doubt it." He might not be able to cope as well as he should with the normal world but he had things to offer, skills Abel might need one day. If he did they would be gladly given, and more besides.