[FIN]{PRP} {Matori} His Butterfly {Leukos + Sajahka}

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

When Leukos held, Sajah tucked, arms looping about the other man and nose touching in to his shoulder as his eyes shut, just feeling for a moment: his warmth, his scent, his nearness and the beat of his pulse, live and real in his hold. He wasn’t shaking anymore, and it was good simply to have his solid presence in his arms—and to have the gesture go both ways, as opposed to the walled up nature of his former responses.

But…I just don’t really want to talk about that tonight…

Sajah nodded, wholly understanding of that sentiment. The night had had enough trauma already, and there would be plenty more opportunities, especially now that the process had begun, it could only get easier going forward. «You have said more than you are used to already, I am sure,» he agreed. «And the morning will be better…» It would bring with it light and new beginnings. Another fresh start from which they could set out on better footing.

As Leukos went on, though, Sajah found himself just listening—and then flushing in growing surprise.

He wanted to say that he knew Leukos cared, in portion. And it was true. It seemed clear, through all they’d been through, all the man had done and said, that he cared a good deal. But, Sajah did have to admit that sometimes he wondered how much, and was suspicious that his own feelings had leapt forward first in greater amount. Leukos was a naturally flamboyant and vibrant, inviting man, but he was by virtue of that — to an extent — that way with everyone.

Sajah knew he was not everyone. But he also still heard, from time to time in his mind, Leukos’ words of caution on one of the last occasions they had been together before parting ways the first time. I don’t really do serious relationships… Most of my relationships last a week, if they are lucky… Do not expect more from this. And while he understood things had changed, and were genuinely very different between them now, he could not help but also be wary of Leukos’ tendency to hesitate and box himself in, intentionally leery of making himself emotionally vulnerable. He knew for his own part how much he cared already—but as with many other things now, Sajah did not want to let himself over-expect only to lead himself to disappointment by leaping too far, too soon.

Instead, however, as Leukos continued, Sajah felt his pulse picking up. I’ve only felt this way about one other person… Leukos’ thumbs brushed, and when the words came, for a moment, he almost feared he was dreaming. I think I love you…

He stared, waiting for the moment of wakefulness.

The break in the daze.

But no, there he was. Very real. Still before him in all that he was. And heat swelled for Sajah’s cheeks, his pulse a wild bird in his chest.

Perhaps he ought to have ‘said’ something before anything else, but his first instinct was to push forward, catching Leukos in an immediate, clinging kiss as his heart surged, needing to feel his reality against him. And when he did pull back, the signs came instantly:

«And I love you, all of you, and every moment with you…every day is better with you in it, I would not want to imagine them without, and I hope to face as many as we are given, together…» The words had been on his mind — flitting back and forth in passing, with special persistence tonight in particular — but he hadn’t thought-

But he had been blissfully, wonderfully wrong. And so he reached, catching Leu’s hands and drawing them before him to kiss as his eyes lifted to Leu’s before leaning in again, touching their noses and then kissing him, lightly, and more lingering. I love you… There was a certain power in the thought as it recirculated, all the more real and overwhelming to have it reciprocated, and for all that had gone poorly that night, this Sajah thought—this was good.

And surely, together they could handle anything.

«Come to bed with me, Butterfly…and we will make tomorrow ours and all the days to follow.»

Admittedly, there was a certain desire in him to simply climb into the man’s lap and attempt to encourage some active, immediate loving before the day dawned, as his body had been excited, was still nude, and now had all the more reason to want Leukos’ touch everywhere. But, Sajah felt, after everything else that had transpired, he thought it fitting not to push and likely that Leu was not entirely in the mood. He could wait.

And now, more than ever, it would be worth it.  

[MissMisnomer]

As the words left his lips, Leukos was dangling from a chord drawn tight, waiting for it to snap and leave him broken on the ground. He knew how he felt, but did Sajah feel the same way? Surely, his response tonight meant that he did… but maybe it was just pity, something he'd show for anyone in this situation? Had Leukos made a mistake?

He was just…staring at him…maybe he shouldn't have said anything? But it was too late, Saj knew now, there was no taking it back, the chord was fraying, he was going to fall-

Sajahka kissed him.

Leukos’ eyes grew wide, and then shut in euphoric bliss, cupping Saj's face as their lips connected. He could feel his soul swell and shimmer, leaking onto his breath and into his fingertips, shaking with the joy of it all. This kiss was like so many others, but somehow shone through like one explosive supernova, outshining all the rest as they were engulfed by its brilliance. He would never kiss like this ever again.

And all too soon it was over, Sajah pulling away as he poured his words out from his heart, Leukos catching them and keeping them in a place no one else could ever touch. He was crying again, fat hot tears of happiness. He probably looked like a mess.

But for once, Leukos didn't care. He was too happy to care. Nothing could ruin this moment. Not the shame from earlier, or all the years his heart had lain barren in his chest. Tonight, it was alive.

He laughed, brushed his nose against Saj's, kissed him again.

…we will make tomorrow ours and all the days to follow.

Leukos held that promise close, smiling through his tears. “I love you so much Saj!” He practically jumped onto him, toppling them down and back onto the bed, clinging to him as he kissed his cheek, his ear, his nose, all over his face. Each was only a second, but it wasn't enough, it could never be enough, they had their whole lives to collect more. Leukos wanted to fill a vault with their kisses.

He laughed and held him close, nuzzling Sajah's neck. “I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Can we stay right here, fall asleep like this, together?”

[9/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Leukos was crying again.

This time, though, Sajah felt fairly confident it was for better reasons—and Leukos’ laugh could only confirm it. It was a welcome, beautiful sound. Welcome as his smile when it came, and when Leukos pounced on him, toppling them both to the bed, Sajah couldn’t help but beam too, a warm thrill tickling under his skin at each touch. He reached, trailing his hands up to trace Leukos’ sides and clutch as the other man kissed, eager to feel as much under his own hands as he could, as though remapping familiar territory. His hips, entirely of their own regard, shifted up, just pressing, inviting out of habit as the other man’s attention stoked a fire in him, and his mind seemed to flit over the thought on repeat:

This was real. And Leukos wasn’t going anywhere.

At the mention of playing hooky, Sajah found himself snorting, and grinning, tracing his fingers up the groove of the small of Leu’s back and tangling loosely in hair before he nodded. “Mmhm…” He shifted, pushing for just enough space to sign. «I think our perfect attendance record can suffer one absence…I would like a day with you. I can bring us breakfast…we could spend the whole day in bed if you liked. You can tell them we ate out and suffered food poisoning…»

He adjusted, nosing to kiss Leu’s chest and shutting his eyes briefly. He would have hours — so many hours — just to work with this man, and they would be good ones. He smelled good just like this, up close and available, and Saj’s legs edged up to either side of him, making lines of contact along skin. Perhaps he should have been tired. Perhaps he was before.

But it was not every night he was woken like this, nor any night ever in his life that he’d been given such a confession, and it still buzzed alive through his thoughts, making his toes pinch the sheets.

«You have made me very awake, Butterfly…» he admitted after a moment, «…and if we are not going to work tomorrow…» You could f—k me just like this…

He couldn’t be the lead player in their lovemaking yet—but that would come in time, and for now, there was a simple desire just to be with him, as near and intimate as they possibly could be and dismissing all exterior obligations. He left the words unspoken, though, not wanting to press if Leu was tired—he would be happy going to sleep just like this, twined together in the moment they were, and ready to begin anew come morning.  

[MissMisnomer]

Leukos couldn't be happier that Sajah agreed with him; they had been exceptionally punctual employees thus far, surely they were allowed one free day without notice. He knew tomorrow would be difficult, but also, filled with new golden memories. New firsts. The first time they woke up in love. Shared food in love. Wandered the streets in love. They could do anything they wanted.

And that was exciting.

But right now, Sajahka was making what he wanted known in none too subtle ways, wrapping his thighs around Leukos as he pressed his interest closer. He could not say he was surprised. Kisses often left Saj excited, and Leukos had just given his fair share of enthusiastic ones. He'd woken him up out of the blue with no warning, and had presumably been interrupted when he was close, but unable, to reach any sort of resolution. No wonder he was still “very awake”.

But, as much as he loved him and could feel the desire radiating off Sajahka, unspoken, Leukos was simply not in the frame of mind for that right now. It would require a decent amount of spirited rutting on his part, and that just hit too close to home of leftover feelings from earlier. But…that didn't mean he couldn't think of other ways to keep Sajah awake a bit longer. He deserved it.

“I'm sorry,” he admitted, brushing Saj's cheek. “I know what you're thinking, but I don't have it in me tonight. Even after everything else, and how happy I am right now, a just can't.”

“But…” he began, rolling off from on top, spooning close next to him as his hand moved lower. “Let me help tire you out a bit first~”

[10/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Sajah didn’t suppose he needed ‘satisfaction’ in the most explicit sense, despite how physically riled his body might have been in that moment after the night’s events thus far. Certainly the capacity and eagerness was there, but more than anything, he wanted contact and attention—moments to share with Leukos that could make both of them appreciate their togetherness as opposed to individual release. So, he would have understood if the man had simply brushed him off.

It wasn’t needed that they be physically together in this instant intimately. He would have been happy just to go to sleep at his side, so long as it was together.

Instead, Leu’s fingers reached, and Sajah flushed, grunting, and he meant to sign that it wasn’t necessary—they could just rest together. He would be fine. But Leu’s hand and tongue were encouraging as they ever were, and instead, he managed only a soft groan.

It probably wouldn’t take that long, he reasoned after a moment, and Leu’s body was still a warm, ready presence riding against him.

In the end, it didn’t matter how long it took, and eventually, both lanterns could be blown out for the night before they lay to rest together. A big day — and many more after that — were set before them, and in the quiet night, Sajah was content to curl, satisfied, in Leukos’ embrace, ready to tackle whatever their futures brought—when that time came.

For now, this was what he had, and it couldn’t have been better.