I feel like a monkey threw poo on my face...

[[Gross]Face]

Hmm...
Have you ever felt happy and sad at the same time??

Anymore I have been in my thoughtful mood.
I just can't stop thinking about things, like how I wish I was pretty enough for a guy to like me, and how I really wish I had GOOD friends to joke around with.

Okay so with the first topic of mine: A guy!
So yeh before anyone says "... You're to young..." I want you guys to know that I do not have a loving family like most people and that is why I want to be with someone...
I just feel such a huge void all the time anymore, it feels like such a huge empty spot. [Has anyone had THE void??]
I think it's because my dad is gone, he doesn't even call on my birthday. And my mom works and is ALWAYS with her boyfriend. I'm a very jealous person...
Well anyways... you guys really don't want to hear about my dumb guy problems.... well actually I just don't want to type about guys anymore.

Okay so done with that part, now on to: GOOD friends!
Yeh, so, if you guys remember all the way back to the problem with my one 'friend'... well she did it again... Even though I didn't tell her who I liked, she found out and asked them out. But it didn't bother me too much because I don't really like that person to much anymore.

So yeh I guess I really want friends that I can just hang out with, and talk about music, or attractive people, or things that may tickle our fancy.
But I don't have that, because no one in this town likes the same stuff as me, and if they do, they are really hostile and like calling everyone 'posers'.
The only person that is actually really nice to me and talks to me about things that we both like is my cousin, but she has to work a lot and really doesn't have time to see me.

Well I HAD to get that out of my system, or I would explode...
So.
Laters,
<3
Alana.

[I know, it probably doesn't make to much sense... if it doesn't you don't have to say anything...lol.]

 

[#1animemaster]

alana....
first of all your gorgius,and second of all if a guy liked you for looks then you would deserve better anyhow....  

[Nagaru Tensei]

Ugh....I'd be more apathetic If I weren't so lathargic.

Sorry, but that was funny.

Option A : Try and wait for a bit
Option B : Move to diffrent town.
Option Q : Go Duke Nukem on your 'friend'.

Operation ZEBRA commence In 3....2.....1...GO.  

[[Gross]Face]

Nagaru Tensei

Ugh....I'd be more apathetic If I weren't so lathargic.

Sorry, but that was funny.

Option A : Try and wait for a bit
Option B : Move to diffrent town.
Option Q : Go Duke Nukem on your 'friend'.

Operation ZEBRA commence In 3....2.....1...GO.

I would looove to move, but ... well it involves a looong story.
AND
I was in a 'mood', so this can totally be disregarded.... and thrown away...
lol.

 

[phish cakes = luff]

grar! so your alana! OMG, i have the greatest urge to stab you through the internet, but i wont, because (a) it cant be done and (b) i dont really hate you, theres no point, cus i dont really know you, i just want avengement <--(does this word exist?).

hmmm, family. my dad will be gone, once again, for my birthday this year, *sigh* last year he didnt call me cus i was over seas and my birthday wasnt worth the long distance call price it would have cost, hows that for love? my mom, yeah, my parents are together still (you cannot imagine my amazement at this fact) but the shouting downstairs every night, when your trying to play pokemon ruby in peace is a little aggrivating. so, i think i get your deal.

happy and sad at the same time? i dont know how many times i felt that way. ill be so happy and ill think, "i remember now, this is what it feels like to be free and happy" "but its not like the way i used to feel in miami. im not as happy as i was then. this moment of happiness wont last, i can feel it already fading away. i might as well say good bye before i get too attached... but i dont want to." and so i carry on in my moment of happiness being happy at what ever it is thats making me be happy, but being sad, cus i know its gonna go away soon...

and GOOD friends. i have good friends, i think. i can talk to them about random junk, ive cried on their shoulders once or twice. but i havent really felt that i can tell them everything. i cry lots at home, but my really good friends have only ever seen me cry, like, well, twice. and nobody knows i cut. theyd ask me if im OK too much... they already do... grrrr. i dont want them to ask me if im OK, im fine... ish. ive been hanging out by myself alot more though, i like solitude, but i cant help but think its alittle bad for my mood...