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this is my song I wrote, critique it please!!

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MizNaughty520

PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 3:40 am
title: MY TIME!!

My time/has come/to a stop
My time/has come/to a pass
My time/has come/to a hualt
Everythin around me/is fadeing away/slowly, slowly, slowly~
Got no reason to live, have no meaning to this life I lead/on and on
Fire/thee ultimate power/that disovles me/ that destroys me/that corrupts my mind
EVERY TIME/ that I am/ near you/ I faint/ and fade~/away~
My time/has come/to a stop
My time/has come/to a pass
My time/has come/to a hualt
Everythin around me/is fadeing away/slowly, slowly, slowly~
Nothing left~/but rubble/in this past/history~/of mine!
Got no reason to live, have no meaning to this life I lead/on and on
Frost/the coldness/that runs through~/my viens~/killing me, killing me/slowly~
EVERY TIME/ that I am/ near you/ I faint/ and fade~/away~
What do you/think that you/are doin to me?~
Why do you/think~/that it is/fun to see me/cry~
So I do/I cry my bloody tears~/and hope/that this life/will end~/sooooon~~
My time/has come/to a stop!
My time/has come/to a pass!!
My time/has come/to a hualt!!!
And all/I can hear/is your voice!/fading away~/As I slip/into darkness
I can rest/finally~
My time~/has come~
Finally~
My time~/has passed~
Finally!~
My time!~/has come~/ to a hualt~  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 5:22 pm
cool  

XKiss.Me.Im.ContagiousX


Mars the fire ninja

PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 5:37 pm
That's a nice song.  
PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:05 pm
thank you!!!  

MizNaughty520


Ashelux
Captain

PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 9:57 am
thats really good! ^_^  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:07 pm
thx I might post another one, we need a lyric thread!! For the musicians LOL!  

MizNaughty520


Hime Xiao Qiao
Crew

Precious Raider

PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 9:25 pm
yea  
PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 11:12 pm
What do you think of my song i had to do it about the book night.:

Endless night

The endless night
Was a black hole
No star or light
Was in the night

In the night sky
No one could escape
People still try
But it never worked

Oh, the black endless night
Why can we go home
Under the sky with no light
We hope for the dawn to be here

The cold night
Black, and dark
But there is some light
The light of hope

- Alicia Hodge  

Hime Xiao Qiao
Crew

Precious Raider


MizNaughty520

PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:49 am
blaugh  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 2:09 pm
i like it 3nodding  

Anbu Tanuki


EJ0519

PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:49 pm
coool  
PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:39 pm
yup  

MizNaughty520


Kakeru Nozomi

PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:45 pm
Thosre are some nice lyrics. Now ya just need some really suiting music to go with it. mrgreen  
PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 9:10 am
i like it heart heart blaugh  

strifechick

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