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Yeah... I wrote it out of boredome... enjoy or whatever...
Long long ago, The Christmas Spirit used to emerge from his dark solitude every December to spread chaos, destruction, and yuletide cheer to the masses. I can still remember looking up at the night sky and seeing his massive, erethral form. It was quite a spectacular sight to see a beat of his mighty, christmasy wings, which spread a euphoria causing vapor to spread across the land. Everyone was happy.
Until one year; the year everything went wrong. Santa, Jesus, Dradleman, and Kwanza guy were sitting around their house partaking in conciousness altering drugs. Due to this the euphoria vapor had little effect on them and they saw the horrible consequenses of the Christmas spirits precsence for what it really was. They vowed to put a stop to it at all costs.
They organized a full ground to air assault, complete with RPGs, Anti aircraft missles, the latest in millitary hardware and software, and the ressurected body of General Lee. It seemed as if nothing could stop their plan, The Christmas Spirit appeared to be doomed. Though not everything is as it appears, children.
This however was as it appeared. The Christmas Spirit was defeated, shot down right out of the sky. Children everywhere began to cry and adults took to the streets with torches, pitchforks, and a mob mentality to rival anything ever seen. Santa and the others knew that, even with everything that they had left from shooting down the christmas spirit, they couldn't stop a mob like this. Thinking quickly, they devised a plan to turn the citizens against one another by going to different parts of the mob and telling them different stories about what went down. Santa proclaimed that Christmas was a time to exhibit good will towards men and that the Christmas Spirit had to go because he got in the way of that.
Jesus told his group that Christmas was time to honor his birth, and the events of his life, and that the Christmas spirit had made a mockery of that, so he needed to be illiminated.
Kwanza Guy's Mic was turned off so only the people in the front three rows got to hear what he said.
Dradle man told about some lamp that burned for longer than expected and that the Christmas spirit wouldn't believe it so they shot him down. No one really believed that guy but they acted like they did so that they would't look anti-semitic.
Sure enough, when the mob started to hear the differing tales from one another about what happened, they turned on one another and divided into their different sides, swearing to prove their points of view to one another. They are still out there, somewhere, fighting to this day.
As for the Christmas Spirit, he landed near a cave and retreated into it, to let his injuries heal. He is still out there somewhere, waiting for the time to re emerge and show the world what he is really all about. Well he would be if said cave wasn't so deep that upon reaching the end he was close to the barrier between the earth's crust and mantle. He reached down to feel the warmth rising from below, but accidentally broke through the thin layer of cooled rock and let the magma below out. He made it out of the lava pool with most of his upper body still intact, but the chain reaction caused the cave he was in to collapse. He was pinned for about a week before he starved to death.
Happy Holidays.
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