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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 8:07 pm
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I need help. I don't want to tell the people around me though. They wouldn't understand. I feel like my body is the only thing that I do have control over. I cut because, well its just a release. I can just cut and the blood runs my down my arm and I feel like with the blood, all my troubles will go away. But then suddenly as I stop the blood, reality comes flooding back. I know it's pain, but its a differant type of pain. And it feels good to me. You could say that I enjoy it. I hide the scars in everyway possible. I wear long shirts, tons of braclets, I write on my arms. Anything, as lon as people won't see them. The bulima, well I weigh 87 pounds, but for some reason, I want to be able to look at that scale and see 0. I want to be weightless. I want to be able to just float away and never return. I need help with this. I am afraid, but the same time, I just want to stay this way until I dissolve away because if it gets fixed, people will treat me with pity. I hate pity. I don't give it and I don't want it. So don't help me out of pity. If your only gonna help me because of sheer pity, turn around and walk away becaus I don't want it. Help me because you want to. And if you don't want to, good bye.
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 8:49 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 10:53 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 12:05 am
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