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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:24 pm
heart

The sirens were at it again, screaming out into the night.

Not an hour went by in which I did not hear them, those wailing, flashing beacons of death and pain, the lights the color of blood...They were background noise. Just static in the background. They didn't mean anything. After all, was I the one praying to hear that sound? Was anyone I knew--or was I--in danger?

No. I wished it, though.

The only way to get away from it all, the shouting, the crying kids, the wailing sirens...was the corner store. So naturally, I made it my second home. The owner knew me, knew I was good for a pack of gum here or a chocolate bar there, and when business was slow he would give them to me for free, if I was lucky. Business was slow quite a lot. I was lucky...never.

My luck ran dry when I was born, I think.

I grabbed a pack of gum and shoved the money across the counter, tearing off the wrapper. But before I started chewing, I happened to glance upward.

That girl...

She was here again.

You know, for some reason she didn't really...fit. The store was run-down and dirty, and every kid and teenager that went in had that furtive turn-around-so-I-can-rob-you-blind sort of look in their eyes. Not her. Sure, her clothes were too big and ragged...but she was always clean and neat, and she never once looked at merchandise the wrong way. Or even, at all. She would just lean against the wall and stare out the glass doors.

She fascinated me today. Normally, she was just part of the routine. But today...Maybe it was because she had bought some cheap lip gloss and had applied it to her pale lips, or maybe her clothes were not as old-looking as usual...

I swallowed the pink ball of gum nervously as I watched her in silence.

She was doing nothing, except maybe breathing. But then, you can never be sure.

Obviously, if she was here she had nowhere else to go. She was running away, escaping, like me...escaping the ever-present sirens that were dimmed a little behind the glass doors, insignificant as the snow that melted on the windows or the bitter wind outside. Nothing mattered to me when I was here but the candy shelf and the occasional chat with friends or the store owner.

And her.

God, I couldn't take my eyes off her today.

No, God had nothing to do with it. God was not present here, or anywhere close by. The church was old and abandoned. Even the cross was gone.

But still...

Normally, I was wrapped up in my own problems. My life sucked, no doubt about it. I was one of those people you hear about sometimes whose only point in life is to raise the census count. No one had the same issues I did, so therefore, they didn't understand. At leats, that was how I thought about it.

But today, I thought about someone other than me.

Her.

I wondered what made her come here every single day. For hours on end she would stand there, from dawn till closing time at ten. It was as if she lived here...but no one did. It was against the law.

I continued to stare, gum forgotten. And perhaps she felt my eyes... perhaps she was curious, or merely bored...but for whatever reason, she turned and met my eyes.

My heart stopped, and I didn't know why. All I could see was her two deep blue eyes...my hearing was suddenly ten times sharper, and I could hear the frantic beating of my heart as it caught up with the pulses it had missed...I could hear the snow falling...I could hear the half-opened pack of gum fall to the ground with a deafening plop. And perhaps loudest of all, I could here the sirens...

I heard them wail and scream in panic, and I thought I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. I wondered if the ambulance was coming for me...coming to rescue me...and I prayed that it was...becuase strangely, out of all the times I needed one in my life, this was the only time I had ever dreamed it was coming for me. What an honor, an acknowledgement...

And I felt certain that it was...it was coming for me...to save me before I collapsed...because that girl...whoever she was...had stolen my heart.  
PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:04 pm
It's great Kirbs, wonderful imagery...  

[ In Nomine Satanas ]


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:07 pm
nyeee. >.<  
PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 6:27 pm
I like that last bit. That definitely ...

*is out of things to say* Possibly 'cause my eyes were too busy re-reading it, it was that good.  

Voxxx


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:44 pm
heart heart heart heart heart  
PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 3:57 pm
wow.  

Nevesaro


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:16 pm
mrgreen

I love you, nice people.  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:03 pm
I like how it doesnt tell you what the sirens are coming for but i think since there was no robbery or assult id say to take 'me' to a mental hospital as would an animal catcher take a stray dog away to the pound. A good read.  

grotesquekreeple


Spastic waffles
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:34 pm
I liked it, Kirby!

Good job.

I really liked the ending.
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:37 pm
Thanks!

I was gonna make it two different things, the sirens and the girl. But I combined them ^^

Still don';t know how.  

KirbyVictorious

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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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