 |
(My brother found this next one hilarious. I don't know why, but whatever. Here it is.)
“Kitty, don’t you want to play with Bunny?”
“Yes, Kitty wants to play with Bunny, but Kitty’s busy right now. Could you ask Kitty to play later?”
Ella looked at Mandy, the child who she was baby-sitting, and smiled a bit. As always, there was a thought behind that smile—why does Mandy call herself Bunny and why does she call me Kitty?
“Do you not like Bunny anymore?” Mandy asked Ella sadly, staring at her with huge eyes and a puppy face. Ella raised both of her eyebrows, and sighed.
“Alright, Kitty will play with Bunny. What does Bunny want to play this time?” she asked, standing up from the homework that she was doing. “Barbies? House?”
“You’ll play whatever I want to play!” Mandy informed her cheerfully, “Because that’s what mommy and daddy told Kitty, and they’re paying you eleven dollars an hour!”
“Kid, you know too much,” Ella said with a grin. “You shouldn’t know how much I’m getting paid. But, whatever. Now, what do you want to play?”
“Bunny will be the mommy and Kitty can be the baby!” Mandy exclaimed, walking over to the toy kitchen that sat in the corner of Mandy’s basement.
“Oh, wonderful.” Ella mumbled under her breath, walking over to the kitchen. “Well, how does Kitty play the baby?”
“Kitty cries,” Mandy said shortly, “And Bunny feeds Kitty with a bottle.”
“Excuse me?” Ella choked, staring at Mandy. “Could Kitty be the mom this time?”
“No!” Mandy said stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest. “Bunny is the mommy! Kitty the baby!”
“Then Kitty won’t play.” Ella told her, narrowing her eyes. “Kitty’s the boss around here until your parents get home, so Kitty says no.”
“Eleven dollars!” Mandy reminded her, “An hour, too!”
“Oh, what fun.” The seventeen-year-old muttered, “I guess that means that Kitty’s forced to, then.”
“Uh-huh!” Mandy shouted, grabbing the fake bottle from the counter and handing it to Ella. “There.” Ella looked down at the bottle, and then looked at Mandy.
“No amount of money will make Kitty do this,” Ella said stiffly, throwing the bottle to the ground.
“Not even eleven dollars? An hour?”
Ella stared at Mandy, and Mandy started right back at her. Staring contest.
“Kitty, you’re going to make Bunny cry!” Mandy said, frowning dramatically. “Why does Kitty have to be so mean?”
Oh, that b***h. Ella thought venomously, closing her eyes and smiling.
“Right, sorry.” Ella said, her eyes still closed. “Frankly, I’m amazed that your parents even hired me for this job.”
“Kitty was a last resort, or else mommy and daddy would’ve hired that nice brunette girl down the street!” Mandy explained.
“Quoted from your parents, right?” Ella asked, opened one of her eyes to see Mandy give her a curt nod. “Yeah, thought so.”
“But at least Doggy will play house with Bunny!” Mandy whined, thrusting the bottle into Ella’s hands. “And she’s only paid eight dollars an hour!”
“Doggy?” Ella asked, opening her other eye. “Kid, why do you call everyone by animal names?”
“The kitty is your favorite animal, right?”
“Yeah, I like cats.”
“Then your name is Kitty!” Mandy said, giving her a grin. “Now, drink from the bottle. If Doggy can, then Kitty can!”
“Wait, so some other girl has put her mouth on this thing before?” Ella asked, staring down at the bottle in disgust.
“Yes, Doggy and Cricket have.”
Ella blinked, wondering who Cricket was. No matter, she was absolutely amazed that the four-year-old child was so persistent about her drinking from some dumb bottle.
“So two people have, right?” Ella asked again, “And you want Kitty to drink from it, too?”
“Yeah, is there a problem?” Mandy asked jovially, giving her another grin. “Eleven dollars.”
“Yes, ma’am… unless, of course, you’d rather be called queen.” Ella said quite snidely, drinking form the bottle.
“No! Call me Bunny!” Mandy said, and, once Ella drank out of the bottle, she added, “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“That’s what you say…” Ella said under her breath, dropping the bottle to the ground. “What next?”
“We play dress-up,” Mandy answered, “Kitty get to be the pink princess of flowers. Kitty has the choice of a pink sparkly dress or a lavender sequined dress. Which does Kitty want?”
Something told Ella that this was going to be the longest day of her life.
|
 |
Reply
