your abuse ~ a poem in the works~ *help appreciated**

[Saikiyoumi]

Again and again,
You say it like its the only way,
You say it like I'm always wrong,
You say it like you're god.

Again and again
It cuts me, It makes me cry
It makes me bleed with regret
it makes me bash my head against the wall.

AGAIN AND AGAIN
You do it.
Like you're above me.
Like your something SPECIAL.

Your words that cut,
your lies that make me think its okay.
The way you say it,
Like it is okay to ABUSE ME.

But that's it,
I'm done, no more.
I wont STAND for it
NO MORE.

You're not always right,
you can't say it like its okay,
you can't do it over and over
then say you love me.

No more, that's it
I wond stand for your abuse
Say what you will
but never again will you hurt me.

NEVER AGAIN will you have the chance
to verbally abuse me.
I will no longer give it to you.
SO SHUT THE HELL UP.  

[-Isel-]

Did everyone forget that soliloquy=/=poetry?  

[Art Payment]

I can't find one thing that makes this a poem.  

[-Isel-]

Exactly.

Oh damn, and you like Blur too? Even more awesome.  

[Saikiyoumi]

Thats exactly why I want help. or do you guys miss the "help appreciated"?  

[Art Payment]

Stable Syllable counts would help a lot.

Lines like
"You do it"
"no more"

Have far less syllables then the rest. This ruins any flow.

You almost got repetition, so work off that.

Using "Again and Again" at the start of every stanza will help repetition.
Also the three lines after should have the same repetition, this can be the same word, but it can also be the same type of word.
As in Water is a noun, the next line can start with Water again or you can start it with Fire, an other noun.



I can be helpful if I want.  

[Saikiyoumi]

Moonlight Agony

Stable Syllable counts would help a lot.

Lines like
"You do it"
"no more"

Have far less syllables then the rest. This ruins any flow.

You almost got repetition, so work off that.

Using "Again and Again" at the start of every stanza will help repetition.
Also the three lines after should have the same repetition, this can be the same word, but it can also be the same type of word.
As in Water is a noun, the next line can start with Water again or you can start it with Fire, an other noun.



I can be helpful if I want.

thank you ^_^ I shall update the poem once I get some work done on it.  

[Art Payment]

No problem, if I can help someone I try.

I for one hate writing poems.  

[emo-ice-cream13]

blaugh This was an inspiring poem for me! But one thing I don't understand, who are you talking about abusing u? Bf? Mom? Dad? Brother? Etc? (I personally thought it was your dad because that's the situation i'm in, basically when I told him to F off)

*clap* great poetry! I love it!