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Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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A guide through a Trans-Dimensional Traveller Prison Ch.1

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Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:22 am
Allright, here, I want you to close your eyes, allright?
Don't inhale, or you're going to end with lungs full of disinfectant, and that wouldn't be healthy.
No, we won't pay for your hospital bills.

Allright, take your shirt off and hold still, we're scanning your surface for weapons; some people think it's funny to have shivs surgically stitched under their skin.
We have to check your blood for smuggled toxins, it'll only hurt for a second.

Okay, you're clean, I'm going to have to confiscate any picture taking devices, we can't let the population see what we have in here; and for the record you're forbidden to write what I just said, if I pick up the paper tomorrow and see my qoute telling that we're keeping the public in the dark I'm going to sue the ******** out of you.

You're only here because you're friends with Frank's son, don't forget that.

Put your shirt back on and drop your drawers, you're not going to like this part; just think about something else for a moment.

Allright, you're clear... But you might want a doctor to take a look at that, just my opnion though.

Here's some saftey precautions:

Keep hands to yourself, I'll break your fingers if you touch me.
Don't piss off (or on) the inmates, they will break a lot more than I would.
STAY IN THE AISLE.
No smoking.
No drinking.
If you have to hurl do it quietly.
You can take notes, but don't include graphic descriptions of the inmates appearances, when writing refer to inmates by their cell number.

Got all that?
Let's get started.

First up is prisoner 1a.
I want you to pay attention to the retractable teeth; anatomical structure leads us to believe that this particular specimen is a scavenger. We found this guy prowling the sewers in New York about a year ago, feeding off of rats and the occasional sewer worker.

Next up...2a.
We found this bugger holding up in a closed bathroom at Yellowstone National Park near a playground. Do you see how he has no eyes?
This guy is a bit strange, we can only compare him to an Angler Fish.
He will find a hiding place, bury himself under leaves and whatnots; and then he sticks his tongue out into view, we estimate it to be about three feet long.lt has a morphus bulb on the tip that molds into whatever shape he determines will attract the desired prey; and when his "food" touches it he strikes.
When we found him he was sticking his tongue out of a broken window towards the playing kids.

Get that look off your face, they all have a thing for children, they're smaller and weaker than we are, and easier prey for them.
Look kid, walk with me to the lounge, I need a smoke.

Allright, have a seat, I'm going to feed it to you straight.
All of our trans-dimensional friends aren't bad guys, they only come from a different plane of existence than ours. A few of them can speak our languages, can hold intelligent conversations; they can be civil, but society would never accept them because of how they look.
I feel bad for a lot of them, because we have to keep them in here until we can find a way to send them home.

A while back we had a guard named Monty; and he was an a*****e.
Well, Monty had a habit of abusing the inmates, mind you, they won't just all out attack you; they have to either be hungry or pissed.

So one of them attacked, and thats when we discovered that titanium isn't strong enough to hold them.
The smallest one in here punched through the grating like it was nothing.
Monty didn't survive, and when it was over there wasn't a lick of blood of bit of gristle anywhere; because none of our "guests" have any problem with eating an a*****e, both metaphoric and literal.

They know that they can break out of here, but we feed them, give them shelter; and we can give them company. Don't think of these guys as monsters, treat them and talk to them the way you would talk to a normal person.

Allright, I'm done.
Lets continue...



Hey Guys
I'd like to say I'm going to be on now, but I found a computer that worked and had to log on and put something up.
This is based off of a picture I drew a while back, more realistically it was of prisoner 2a hiding underneath a pit with his tongue stuck up above ground and the thing on the tip of his tongue was shaped like an apple. A little kid was bending over reaching for it.
So I said, "Self, this is a good idea".
There will definitly be more to come, I already have four chapters written down, but didn't feel like typing them all up at the same time.
Feedback appreciated.
 
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:07 am
Anything where "trans dimensional" doesn't mean "another universe with copies of us in it" (I'm talking to you Sci Fi channel) is good in my book. I'll be waiting patiently... or not so patiently depends on how boring things get around here... for you to post more. So far, it seems like something I would enjoy.  

lidless_i


Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:10 am
Yay, thank ya.  
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:07 pm
Found it!

Loved it.

Cool. >.>  

KirbyVictorious


Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:12 pm
Cool yo?  
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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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