* * * * *
Mysterious Person: So... I see it's begun.
Mysteriouser Person: Indeed it has. It'll move slowly at first, but the more souls it devours will empower it. It's momentum will eventually become unstoppable.
Mysterious Person: Good. Now, the only one's that can stop us are-
----
Brian: COOKIES!!!
Spyke: No Brian, wait! Those are... too late.
Brian eats a plastic decoration cookie. He spits it out in disgust.
Brian: Peh! What kind of cookie is that? I'm never buying that brand.
Ritz: Do I have to put you on a leash!?
Ritz grabs the collar of Brian's shirt and drags him back to the tour group. Spyke sighs and breaks out another Dr. Pepper. The rest of the tour group is waiting with odd expressions on their faces. Spyke reassures them that Brian spit it out and they turn their attention back to the tour guide.
Ritz whispers in Brian's ear.
Ritz: Does "keep attention away from us" mean ANYTHING to you!? We are on a mission here, Brian. Another move like that and they'll definitely know something's up.
Brian: ... sorry. But they really shouldn't make decorations that appetizing...
The tour guide resumed talking.
Tour Dude: We are now approaching one of our most prized achievements here at Itex; the black hole generator. As many of you know, black holes are tears in the fabric of space, sucking in all matter including light itself. Here at Itex, we are attempting to create a baby black hole in a controlled environment.
Oh's and Ah's emit from the crowd. A frown breaks out across Ritz's face.
Ritz: That's definitely what we're looking for.
Spyke: Uh, I thought the transmission we intercepted said it would suck up 'souls'? This black hole thing sounds like it sucks up a lot more than souls.
Ritz: For all we know, they could consider matter to be souls. Really, what does define a soul?
Brian: ZOMG, we are NOT getting philosophical right now. I, for one, vote on blowing this thing up. With fire. LOTS OF FIRE.
Spyke: I vote on using it to suck up some souls and challenge Satan to a soul-off.
Ritz: I vote on you're both morons. We're installing a virus in this thing so it'll infect all data connected to the device and they won't be able to create another one... at least for awhile. Come on.
The three slowly walk towards the "Personnel" door and slip inside. The hallway in front of them is empty.
Brian: Ok, what? You're installing a virus in this thing? Do you even know how to do that?
Ritz: Brian, I hack the Pentagon every morning for entertainment as a replacement for the Today Show. This will be a piece of cake.
Brian: Hey, I like the Today Show...
Ritz ignores him.
Ritz: The problem is going to be getting close to this thing. I'll only be able to input data directly to the machine itself, since doing it from an externally connected device would take too long.
She hesitates. Brian is grinning from ear to ear.
Ritz: ... ok, you can use fire.
Brian: YAY!
Spyke: Ritz, please don't keep fueling this pyromaniac obsession of his. It definitely isn't healthy...
Ritz: We don't have much time right now. They're going to do a test launch pretty soon. Fire will have to do. Just... keep it away from the machine.
Brian caresses his oil-filled supersoaker.
Brian: Precioussssssss....
Ritz: Spyke, focus on an escape plan.
Spyke: Well thanks for telling my part NOW. The escape plan sort of takes time to figure out!
Ritz: Deal.
Spyke: Gr.
Ritz: Spell that with two R's.
Spyke: Grr.
Ritz: There we go.
Brian takes off running down the hallway, towards the room where the black hole generator is stored. Ritz and Spyke take off after him.
Ritz: Brian! BAD!
Spyke: Heal, boy!
Too late (as usual.) Brian bursts through the door of the experimentation room. Before the security team can get at him, Brian lights the match at the end of his Super Soaker and lets loose.
Brian: MWUAHAHA!!!
Everything begins to catch fire and chaos ensues (damn, I've so been waiting to say that.) The security team is running around on fire, sprinklers and fire alarms are turning on... and the black hole generator is starting up.
Ritz: s**t! Spyke, we have to get to the machine!
Spyke shields Ritz from falling debris and, well, people as they make a mad dash through the crowd. They emerge in front of the computer and Ritz frantically begins to input codes.
Ritz: Crap, crap, crap... come on...
Brian is still spinning around with his homemade-flamethrower.
Spyke: BRIAN!
Brian: Oh... sorry.
Brian returns to his sheepish boy state and retreats to Spyke's side. A burning puppy hits him in the head and he punts it to the side.
Ritz: This is... weird. It's like they were anticipating me coming here. I'm getting blocked out everywhere and I just... oh my God! Guys!
Ritz is pointing above. A baby blackhole had just been formed. While hardly bigger than a human fist, it was beginning to suck up everything it could; flames, to scraps of metal, to even a few workers.
Worker 1: AHHH!
Worker 2: GERANAMO!!
Worker 3: I NEVER GOT TO SEE THE THIRD SEASON OF FRIENDS!!!
Ritz's fingers are flying over the keyboard.
Ritz: DAMMIT! The computer is going nuts!
Suddenly, a face appears on the computer screen.
???: Well done, Ritz. You've let loose the black hole.
Ritz: What? I was stopping it!
???: No... thanks to your hacking, you just released the black hole from it's controlled environment. You were the one of the only people with skills to hack through the defenses of that computer. Our organization thanks you.
Ritz: No... I... I didn't...
They slowly begin levitating into the air.
Brian: Uh, guys? It's starting to suck us too!
???: Exactly. We now have eliminated our only threat... you three.
The computer locks up.
Spyke: DAMMIT! Everyone, find something to hang onto... if there is anything left...
The black hole is 10 feet wide now. It begins to suck up concrete poles, walls of the lab, and even-
Brian: CRIKEY!
Ritz: NOO!!
Spyke: Bring it on, Satan!!
The black hole sucks up our heroes.
To be continued...
BUH BUH BUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH....
:~
