these are words that i have put to paper with pen, verses from my own mind
please do not take them as your own for any purpose as they have been recently copyrighted for poetry competition (slam and otherwise) purposes

These are the words i have

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Memories in Technicolor

I exist now only as a shell of the man I was
like the apocalyptic movies that frequent my television, my world has been shattered
and as I walk through the shallow shades of grey that now fill this plane of existence
I quest only for the depth and color of your eyes.
I search for your eyes like the beacons of hope that they are
I seek to be in your sight so as to know I am not forgotten
the world of wonder that once was is now a wasteland of woe
and I am on my knees screaming for an end to this madness
but this world is only in my mind, and so I know that there is hope
you still exist in the full color and beauty that I remember
and I prey to anything and everything I can name that you remember me

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Longing

i long for days of old before the world became so complex and hatefull. i long for summer nights when love seemed so easy. i long for the understanding ear that used to listen. i long for what never may have been. i long for hope, peace, and beauty, knowing they are even more rare than that fleeting moment of absolute truth that i so desperately seek. i long for humanity to return to its proper state of collective mind. i long for...........

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Apology

This is an apology to all those I've hurt
If you think that one of these is to you, it probobly is

I apologize to the Athleate
For listening to doubt and never getting close enough
Now I must listen to your chuckle from afar
I apologize to the Goth
For never giving you a proper chance
Now I'm forced to think "What if"
I apologize to the Crazy One
For falling asleep in that chair for to long
Now I bear the scars of that mistake forever
I apologize to the Queen
For not being able to kiss you back
Now I still can't, but the doors to the factory have closed
I apologize to the Gamer
For my extended leave of absence
Now I'm AFK no longer
I apologize to the Artist
For giving up to soon and in the wrong way
Now not one of those 99 balloons could bring our passion back
I apologize to the Junkie
For leaving you cold turkey
Now I see you throwing your life away
I apologize to the Writer
For giving you false hopes for the future
Now I hope you can find someone else
I apologize to the Unmentioned
For what I've done or what I'm doing
Now I'm really trying to change
I truly am sorry
I feel perfactly awful for my behavior
Now I beg forgiveness from you all
You don't have to say or do anything
It would be nice, but its not expected
Please just remember the good times
And not how I ******** it up in the end
I Apologize

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The Masks We Wear

We all wear a mask for to cover our faces from the world we find so unforgiving
Showing the construct of popular society instead of the flesh of the living

We cover and hide and enshroud and conceal everything that is true about us, all
that’s real.
The masks hide our true selves to portray something wrong, something we believe to be right, safe and strong

We think that the masks are for our own good, and we show the face we wish for not the face that we should

the masks trap the emotion so the wearer feels in control, of the world which they live in and their lives as a whole.

The pain makes us human and love means we’re alive, and ambition reaches goals of which we all strive.
Masks deprive the whole world of who we truly are, every wrinkle, every blemish, any emotional scar.

The imperfections make us real like the reality we live in, our vice, our addiction, our original sin

Our fear and our sorrow our anguish and hate, keeping these things hidden has made me irate

So you remove your facade and ill take off mine, but I can’t promise a finale where our true selves shine

To be rid of this mess that our masks have created, we must revive our true selves and bring color to the faded.

For the real us dies a little with each day in the mask, and resurrecting our soul will be no easy task.

The endeavor at hand will be one hell of a fight, but once finished may we all bathe together in the light.

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Dare I?

I know I feel for you but dare I say love
I experience more with you than with anything or anyone that came before
I consider the day we met my personal genesis into this world
My feelings are not in question they are absolute
The problem I have is the lack of linguistics with which to express these emerging emotions
Of all of the words in the English language
I find that love is most unsuitable to describe how I feel when you are near
how am I to compare the same word I use to describe my affection for candy, cars, caffeine, cookies, the Arcade Fire, and other things that fleetingly fill me full of felicity,
with the eternal exuberance you crate in my heart of hearts.
To be brutally honest, I can’t use such a word.
Within today’s world of wonder and waste,
Overuse has stripped a once magical word of its might
The fantastic feeling of finding a perfect partner is nullified by the millions who claim to find love each day only to forget their new love’s name, number, and what the hell they did last night.
With the media screaming that couples are the new black and that singles are some off shade of putrid green it’s no wonder that the masses are migrating to find mirth with a match that just doesn’t work
In this society of false foundations and rushed relationships
Love is as good as dead
But I have hopes for the future
I pray that the feelings I carry for you in my heart and soul
Can revive and rejuvenate the hallowed word of romance
So now I say to you
From the ancient Greek Isles, Ego Philo Su
With the voice of Nippon, Kimi O Ai Shiteru
In the Language of Moses, Ani Ohev Otach
With the spirit of my forefathers ,Ta Gra Agam Ort
and from me a simple I Love You...

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Gambit

Dear Wonderful, Oh Beautiful
I apologize in advance for my lack of instumental mastery
And I'm afraid that my singing voice would be counteractive to my cause
So instead I'll seranade you with words spoken from my soul
Each line packed with the very emotions
That I feel to frail to fully express in your presence
I know these lines seem sappy
But the mere thought of your divinity creates in me a euphoria such that complex thought becomes nigh impossibe
It is at these times that I realise that realationships are not but a great gamble
Going all in or folding under the pressure
But when we're together
I see your hair shining like the moonlight reflected in a spider's web, as we walk together through the night,
And I know this to be real
I stare into your eyes, more perfect than even the most brilliant of sapphires, and deeper even than the most introspective philosopher's thoughts,
and I want to be lost in those eyes forever
I feel your touch and find it to be softer and warmer than a velvetine teddy bear straight from the dryer,
and I can't imagine myself leaving your embrace
I hold your body, your form such a model of athletic perfection and beauty that even the goddesses Artimis and Aphrodite feel the sting of envy,
and I want to stay close for all times
I gaze upon your smile and am moved to tears by its elegance
Then I hear your laugh, your chuckle, your giggle
and my spirit is lifted by a soud more wonderous tahn an angelic chorous
I know that you and I are perfect together
but the cruel hand of fate has dealt me a seven-two off suit
and I'm all in at the blinds
now its your turn
your bet
Will you match my wager
Or play it safe and fold?

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a poem of instability and a poem of recovery

1st up is instability with

WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE HEART BREAKING

wait not for me
for i am at a junction of my life where i must fly solo as the exiled swan.
i can say i care for you but i have lost all will to feel the emotion of romance.
my heart has been torn in twain and replaced by a cold lump of iron.
my faith in humanity has been shattered and my spirit crushed
i care not for the living and morn not the dead
i have no alliances and have burned every bridge
i am an un-person that will not return at the end of this regime
i am no one and nobody while i still posses the knowledge of my self
i am an individual that has lost sight of the heard and cares not to cross its path again
i am a rouge that must be isolated from the collective
i am the outbreak monkey that must be quarantined
i am alone and cannot see a time in the foreseeable future where the company of another soul would make me happy
i am a beat and a dandy while retaining my hippy charm but foremost i am sad
i shall live under the rock that is my ego until such a time as my hopes are revived
i am sorry if this hurts you
i mean not to offend
it's not your fault
blame society as a whole
and the media most of all
and if it makes you feel better
blame me
hate me
despise me
for all others do
fin

and now for the poem of recovery

THE DARKEST SHADE OF WHITE

i have been reborn and will now survive
for i have seen the light and it has made me blind
the girls i chased and and the lies i told
are things of my distant past
i am a sinner among saints and a sheep among the shepherds
i live a black life, bleak life, a life of incoherency
my wrists remain intact, and i can't tie a noose
for i am above the fads
i now seek the world where once i hid from it
the walls of my mind have fallen
and now the spectrum of life floods each decision
i feel again after my time of numbness
and the feeling of a heartbeat is the most beautiful thing
while i remain deep person that i was
my mental pool now has shallows for wading
the darkness within has been exorcised by the light
and i will remain with my heart being the darkest shade of white

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words from the heart, mind, and soul of the eternal bard and imminent junkie R.k.M "Toast"