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Poems

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jrat123456

PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:03 pm
The very first time I met you... everything about you was to good to be true... I thought to myself this is either a fantasy or a really good dream that I didn't want to end... this dream had you in it and no one else... but... before I realized this was no dream....my love was stolen by ur beauty and was lead to you and that's where it lies and always will.

Written by-Karina Donges

Everyday I have a great day but there's always something missing...that something that puts all meaning into my life...that something that always makes me happy ...that something that keeps my heart beating...that something that brings joy to not only me but to everyone!...that is
something actualy a someone...that someone gives me the strength to do anything...that some is you!

Written by-Karina Donges

The first time i met you i was happy to see a new face.A friendly one, but as most you were taken in by another.I've lost interest and went my own way.Along the way i decided to come back only to find out freedom was yours.At last a chance for me to see the real you, the free you.As happy as you may have seemed you were not complete.You had friends, family, but no love.Love was the last step for a complete you, a you that everyone would want, everyone would need, everyone would love.

Written by-Jessy Di Rado


Tell me what you think about them  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:21 pm
Meh.
1- Poems are expressed in stanzas...Not huge clumps of paragraphs.
2- They need rhythm...Without rhythm, your lines are just random clumps of words.
3- Poems need a title. Without that, you don't really get 'the feel' of the poem.
 

The Raining Soul


jrat123456

PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:21 pm
EmoJirachi
Meh.
1- Poems are expressed in stanzas...Not huge clumps of paragraphs.
2- They need rhythm...Without rhythm, your lines are just random clumps of words.
3- Poems need a title. Without that, you don't really get 'the feel' of the poem.

lol thx for the hints .. but i only made 1 of those and in like 2 mins.. i didnt really want to post mine i just wanted to put the others up..  
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:42 pm
Alright....  

The Raining Soul


this-is-shloop

Wealthy Werewolf

PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:21 pm
i liked them.  
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Art and Poetry

 
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