I'm thinking of coming out soon. How should I do it?

[Aaron Lee Morrison]

Avoir Le Retour...

Well, I'm thinking of confessing to my parents soon that I'm Atheist. Really, I just want to get it over with. I'm prepared for my mom and step dad freaking out, but that's the only thing that's holding me back. I'm not COMPLETELY in the closet, (I've told various friends, I'm completely open about it online, and I've told my sister) but I would like to know how those of you who are open, became open. Did you just bluntly say it? Did you get into an argument and basically say it out of anger? Did you sit down and take time to explain it to them? My mom and Step dad are Baptists, though I believe my dad is either Agnostic or Atheist, yet I'm not sure. My mom told me my dad told her he was Atheist before I was even conceived, but I've heard him say things like "I was blessed with this" and "Thank god for that." Maybe he thinks I'm Christian, and is trying to relate with me? I dunno.

...Les Adieux

 

[Kharybuce]

I KNOW we have a thread just like this somewhere, but if I'm too lazy to find it and post a link, then I can't blame you for being too lazy to look as well.


Anyway, I'm kind of a stubborn s**t. So when it came time to tell my VERY CHRISTIAN parents, I was ready for war. I spent a good week preparing for every question, conflict, and argument they could imagine. When I felt confident that I would be able to state my descision calmly and collectively, I waited for the right moment. My mother said something like "If it wasn't for the goodness of God things would be a lot worse." That's when I dropped the bomb. She got pissed, did the whole "you're going to hell" thing, but when she saw she couldn't upset me, get me to raise my voice, or even seemed concerned that she was so upset about my descision, she eventually wore her self out trying to convince me I was wrong, and left in a huff. For about a year or two she would hint at religion, but now I think she's over it. She knows it hasn't really changed me, and even sometimes says that if I stay a good person, God will forgive me, to which I smuggly reply with a smile "I'll keep my fingers crossed."

However, every situation is different. You have to know your parents, and how to apporach them. If your folks are the kind that may kick you out of the house, then ******** it. It's not worth it. Unlike theists who think that confessing your faith is the ultimate way to show devotion to the lord, Atheists have no one to impress. If you don't want to tell them, then don't worry about it. No one of any real character would judge you for not wanting to deal with the drama of something as normal and simple as not believing in god. It'd be like suffering because you think the world is round. No honor in that, right?  

[Key The Thief]

I can't tell you how to do it from a personal standpoint, because my parents weren't religious in the first place and I got my lack of religion from there.

However, I really do think you should just sit them down and say, 'Mom, Stepdad, I don't believe in God.' and leave it at that. you don't need to be elaborate. You could tell them other things, too, like, 'Please support me in this' and 'This is my own decision' and things like that.
Hopefully they love you more than they love a book.

and atheists say things like that. Hell, I say 'thank god' and even mock-cross myself when I need luck, but I don't believe in it.

 

[Aaron Lee Morrison]

Kharybuce

I KNOW we have a thread just like this somewhere, but if I'm too lazy to find it and post a link, then I can't blame you for being too lazy to look as well.

Anyway, I'm kind of a stubborn s**t. So when it came time to tell my VERY CHRISTIAN parents, I was ready for war. I spent a good week preparing for every question, conflict, and argument they could imagine. When I felt confident that I would be able to state my descision calmly and collectively, I waited for the right moment. My mother said something like "If it wasn't for the goodness of God things would be a lot worse." That's when I dropped the bomb. She got pissed, did the whole "you're going to hell" thing, but when she saw she couldn't upset me, get me to raise my voice, or even seemed concerned that she was so upset about my descision, she eventually wore her self out trying to convince me I was wrong, and left in a huff. For about a year or two she would hint at religion, but now I think she's over it. She knows it hasn't really changed me, and even sometimes says that if I stay a good person, God will forgive me, to which I smuggly reply with a smile "I'll keep my fingers crossed."
However, every situation is different. You have to know your parents, and how to apporach them. If your folks are the kind that may kick you out of the house, then ******** it. It's not worth it. Unlike theists who think that confessing your faith is the ultimate way to show devotion to the lord, Atheists have no one to impress. If you don't want to tell them, then don't worry about it. No one of any real character would judge you for not wanting to deal with the drama of something as normal and simple as not believing in god. It'd be like suffering because you think the world is round. No honor in that, right?

Avoir Le Retour...

I'll take that into strong consideration. Thank you. I don't think my mom would be the one to kick me out of the house, and even if she did, my mom and dad are divorced, and I'm pretty sure he's Atheist. But she would be one to freak. She's generally mentally unstable for one, and she, I'm sorry to say, is not very intelligent. I'm not saying this as some 'arrogant teenager', but I'm saying this as simple fact. It's obvious.

...Les Adieux

 

[Theophrastus]

I gathered all my friends and family who could come, told 'em, then started packing my things because I was disowned, kicked out and effectively friendless by the end of the day.

Not a step to be taken lightly, good sir.  

[Aaron Lee Morrison]

Key The Thief

I can't tell you how to do it from a personal standpoint, because my parents weren't religious in the first place and I got my lack of religion from there.
However, I really do think you should just sit them down and say, 'Mom, Stepdad, I don't believe in God.' and leave it at that. you don't need to be elaborate. You could tell them other things, too, like, 'Please support me in this' and 'This is my own decision' and things like that.
Hopefully they love you more than they love a book.
and atheists say things like that. Hell, I say 'thank god' and even mock-cross myself when I need luck, but I don't believe in it.

Avoir Le Retour...

I see where you're coming from, but my dad has had moments where he repeatedly says stuff like, for example, I'm not good at sports, so my dad said "You can't play football, so God gave you a brain."

...Les Adieux

 

[Aaron Lee Morrison]

Theophrastus

I gathered all my friends and family who could come, told 'em, then started packing my things because I was disowned, kicked out and effectively friendless by the end of the day.
Not a step to be taken lightly, good sir.

Avoir Le Retour...

Well, I'm sure that even if they do take it heavily, they won't kick me out of the house.

...Les Adieux

 

[Kharybuce]

Key The Thief

I can't tell you how to do it from a personal standpoint, because my parents weren't religious in the first place and I got my lack of religion from there.

However, I really do think you should just sit them down and say, 'Mom, Stepdad, I don't believe in God.' and leave it at that. you don't need to be elaborate. You could tell them other things, too, like, 'Please support me in this' and 'This is my own decision' and things like that.
Hopefully they love you more than they love a book.

and atheists say things like that. Hell, I say 'thank god' and even mock-cross myself when I need luck, but I don't believe in it.

Okay, your "Lion King-big red mouth" sig just made me laugh my a** off. I'm still laughing as I'm typing this. rofl  

[Key The Thief]

Les Adieux

Key The Thief

I can't tell you how to do it from a personal standpoint, because my parents weren't religious in the first place and I got my lack of religion from there.
However, I really do think you should just sit them down and say, 'Mom, Stepdad, I don't believe in God.' and leave it at that. you don't need to be elaborate. You could tell them other things, too, like, 'Please support me in this' and 'This is my own decision' and things like that.
Hopefully they love you more than they love a book.
and atheists say things like that. Hell, I say 'thank god' and even mock-cross myself when I need luck, but I don't believe in it.

Avoir Le Retour...

I see where you're coming from, but my dad has had moments where he repeatedly says stuff like, for example, I'm not good at sports, so my dad said "You can't play football, so God gave you a brain."

...Les Adieux

Augh, I hate it when people say s**t like that. Makes me want to yell 'NO ONE GAVE US ANYTHING. WE DEVELOPED BRAINS TO SURVIVE, b***h'.

 

[Aaron Lee Morrison]

Key The Thief

Les Adieux

Key The Thief

I can't tell you how to do it from a personal standpoint, because my parents weren't religious in the first place and I got my lack of religion from there.
However, I really do think you should just sit them down and say, 'Mom, Stepdad, I don't believe in God.' and leave it at that. you don't need to be elaborate. You could tell them other things, too, like, 'Please support me in this' and 'This is my own decision' and things like that.
Hopefully they love you more than they love a book.
and atheists say things like that. Hell, I say 'thank god' and even mock-cross myself when I need luck, but I don't believe in it.

Avoir Le Retour...

I see where you're coming from, but my dad has had moments where he repeatedly says stuff like, for example, I'm not good at sports, so my dad said "You can't play football, so God gave you a brain."

...Les Adieux

Augh, I hate it when people say s**t like that. Makes me want to yell 'NO ONE GAVE US ANYTHING. WE DEVELOPED BRAINS TO SURVIVE, b***h'.

Avoir Le Retour...

Yeah! I know! That's another thing I look forward to when I'm completely open (Hopefully soon?): Being able to discuss it freely!

...Les Adieux

 

[Theophrastus]

You're a human being with a thinking mind and, as far as human rights are concerned, they should at least respect your ability to accept and maintain a stance of any sort. Better than being a thoughtless jackass who lives off of MTV and ringtones.  

[ProjectOmicron88]

I wish I could help with things like this, I really do. Thing is, my dad's usually always had critical views on religion, and my mom was raised Catholic, but she never really went to church as an adult. So I never got a whole lot of religious exposure, so there wasn't really a "confession" stage that I had to go through.

I guess the main thing would be to be assertive, but not necessarily aggressive. Make it clear that you're certain this is what feels right to you, but don't say anything like "If you don't like it, too bad" or something like that. (Maybe not THAT extreme, but things similar to it)  

[Xiporah]

I wasn't raised religiously.

My mother was like, "Huh. I thought you were agnostic."

She found out when she one of those online Quiz You Friends things that I'd made.

Now she says things like

"I know you don't believe in praying or anything, but THINK POISITIVE IT HELPS!" Everytime someone gets sick. She's a new age metaphysical hippy anyway. We had a s**t ton of crystals and talked about energy and s**t when I was in high school.

She really doesn't care. Just as long as I recycle (I don't >.>) and don't kick puppies. ( I don't!)

Religion is not something I discuss with my father at all. He considers himself Christian, but the only real mention of it I've ever seen is on this PRO NRA I LOVE GUNS AND CHARLTON HESTON IS AWESOME! shirt he has. He does not belong to a church and hasn't gone since he was a teenager.

He calls his mother a Holy Roller and criticizes her when she does mundane, devious things by saying, "That's REAL christian of you mom."

 

[Sanguvixen]

Hmmm...There is not much to be said that already hasn't been said.

You should probably really think about your options. What if your mom goes berserk...where will you go?

What if you are wrong about your dad and he goes berserk? Where will you go?

What if they both decide that they don't want you within thier homes? Then where will you go?

Also, it might help to pick a good day when your mother is in a decent mood. I don't usually support the idea of coming out to parents unless the individual is on their own and financially stable. It's playing with fire, and you can never tell just how badly you'll get burned.

I still havn't come out to my family, and I probably never will. I don't see the point.