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Strength of the World

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LiTTLExMiSSxSUiCiDE

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 10:06 pm
Whoa. Hey guys. Long time no see!
I promise I'll be more active from now on, a lot has been happening at home. -Cough-Pregnanciesmarriagesbreakupsdeathsbirthdays-cough-

Well, this is my second-newest short, Strength of the World. Hope you like it.


I stared at her.
I couldn’t help it. She was so beautiful, with her shiny raven hair and brilliantly green eyes.
And so I stood there. And I stared.

The screams of hundreds of wrestling fans filled the arena, bouncing off the walls and echoing in my ears. But I was no longer focused on the match.
I was focused on her.

Her black hair fell down to her waist, so clean looking that it’s shine was mesmerizing. But her eyes. Her breathtaking jade green eyes. They were the stars of the show. She wore an extremely baggy t-shirt that fell down to her thighs- white, over black leggings. The same word was printed over and over in different colours on the front: love. She smiled at me, and for a moment, I saw no one but her. I blinked hard; once, twice, and finally everyone around her returned. But she was gone.

“What are you staring at, buddy?” The man who must have been standing behind her only seconds before asked. I staggered back a little, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. I shook my head rapidly and turned to face the front.
She was standing right in front of me, so close that I could have leant forward and kissed her.
She was smiling that devilishly sweet smile and I had to do all I could to stop myself from doing so.
“He’s pretty rude, isn’t he?” She asked, gazing airily at the man who was now cheering along with the rest. I followed her gaze, and when I looked back, she was right beside me, glaring interestedly at the match.
“How did you-“
“These men aren’t strong. It’s an act,” She cut in. I raised my eyebrows.
“I know a woman who has over eight billion children and gets them all to train for her, and she is still stronger than these men.”
I blinked. Eight billion children? That had to be…
”That’s right, Mother Earth. The world. I say these men aren’t strong because in comparison to the world, they aren’t. Mother Earth can bounce back from anything.”
It was like she read my mind.

“World War One, Mother Earth lost over 40 million of her children. World War Two, she lost over 70 million more. Approximately 229,866 were lost on the 26th of December, 2004- the Boxing Day tsunami. 186,983 dead, 42,883 still missing. The Iraqi war- around 1,220,580 people have been lost so far. Do you think, if those men up on stage had that many relations and friends and they all died, that they could cope? I sure don’t. Weak.”
My mind was spinning. So many numbers. So much death. Where was all this coming from? And why was she telling me?
“We, as the world’s children, research and experiment for ways to make her better and healthier. To fix our mistakes which have brought shame to her. We have harmed her in so many ways and yet she continues to serve as our home. She can only get stronger. These fake men are her children, of course, but they mock her. Strength is so much more than how hard you can throw something, or someone, for that matter, or how heavy the weights you lift are. Strength is coming back from bad times with a smile on your face. Strength is letting go of people, animals and things that you adore. We are all strong, but the strength of the world outdoes us all.”

I had been staring at my feet, lips tight and eyes squeezed shut as I tried to comprehend what she was saying. Finally, I looked up.
She had disappeared completely.
“Wait!” I went to call, but I was drowned out by the roar of the crowd. The match had ended.
And she was gone.  
PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:24 am
Wow, what that girl said was deep. >w< I find her words mesmerizing, instead of her eyes and hair.

I enjoyed it. 3nodding And nice to see you around again! =D
 

UsakoTenshi


Sors II

PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:06 am
How unusual and interesting. surprised
I rather liked it.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 1:53 pm
Hm, I never would have guessed that Mother Earth would frequent wrestling matches (assuming that she was Mother Earth, and not just some hippy).

The lack of new paragraphs in certain areas made my head hurt a little, but I liked the progression. Content was good, presentation was a little shaky.
Good to see you back!  

Xahmen
Vice Captain


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:28 pm
May I cynically wtf?

Thank you..

Wtf?

a) describing people by their hair and eyes and clothes is very cliched. The shirt seemed important, but not the length, nor very much the leggings. If the hair and eyes are important, mention other aspects as well. Just saying that makes her seem like an anime character or something.

b) what is this chick doing at a wrestling match?

c) what does his attraction to her have to do with it? Is it meaningful, really? Perhaps because she is Mother Earth, in which case this should be clearer.


It really is a lovely story, though. I love the idea, and the imagery. Those bits just bugged me, is all. And the cliches--fish out of water, stars of the show. Okay in context, I think, but normally one should avoid them.

I did like it. 3nodding  
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