Crumble.

[Sors]

"I love you." She said softly into his ear as the ceiling to the extensive cavern started to drop. Large slabs of slate and granite made the ground tremble. She collapsed to her knees as a small chunk hit her shoulder. He reached out to her, pulling her up, holding her tightly to him.
"I love you too." He said hurriedly back before another slab could fall upon them.
Even across the room Lanna knew what they were saying. She tucked her body again the side of the cavern. Rage, jealousy, hate overwhelmed her thoughts as the last of the slabs fell just beside her feet.
Lanna stumbled over the jumbled rocks till she same to Isadore's shaken form. She was silent and numbly looking at him.
Lanna took one look at his unconscious form and picked up a small stone and drove it with all her might into Isadore's skull.
Lanna rapped her arms around his form, pulled him up and dragged him as far away from Isadore as she could.

He was hers and no one else's.

 

[Xahmen]

Obligatory "OH GOD USE A DIFFERENT COLOR"
Also, crazy jealous women make my skin crawl.  

[Isianya]

I like the last line. Powerful, simple. Other than that, a couple things:

>> Adjectives. Whoah. 'the extensive cavern,' 'large slabs,' 'shaken form' so on and so forth. Sometimes less is more.

>> She collapsed to her knees as a chunk hit her shoulder. Okay, she collapsed as the rock hit her? Or was it after? Words like that should be used carefully. Especially when describing a scene like this.

>> Tone.. There's a crisis going on here. A sense of urgency or at least fear. I don't get that from reading this.

.:~o*'Isianya'*o~:.  

[NovaKing]

Sors

"I love you." She said softly into his ear as the ceiling to the extensive cavern started to drop. Large slabs of slate and granite made the ground tremble. She collapsed to her knees as a small chunk hit her shoulder. He reached out to her, pulling her up, holding her tightly to him.
"I love you too." He said hurriedly back before another slab could fall upon them.
Even across the room Lanna knew what they were saying. She tucked her body again the side of the cavern. Rage, jealousy, hate overwhelmed her thoughts as the last of the slabs fell just beside her feet.
Lanna stumbled over the jumbled rocks till she same to Isadore's shaken form. She was silent and numbly looking at him.
Lanna took one look at his unconscious form and picked up a small stone and drove it with all her might into Isadore's skull.
Lanna rapped her arms around his form, pulled him up and dragged him as far away from Isadore as she could.

He was hers and no one else's.

Jealous women make my skin crawl too.

I always love your human conflict, sors; It keeps your attention so well.  

[Voxxx]

The first sentence might be improved a bit by saying the ceiling of the extensive cavern. And maybe find a synonym for slab. Other than that, I rather enjoyed it. It was a little un-clear

holding her tightly to him.
"I love you too." He said hurriedly back before another slab could fall upon them.
Even across the room Lanna knew what they were saying. She tucked her body again the side of the cavern. Rage, jealousy, hate overwhelmed her thoughts as the last of the slabs fell just beside her feet.
Lanna stumbled over the jumbled rocks till she same to Isadore's shaken form. She was silent and numbly looking at him.

here, as to how the guy became unconscious. Did the rock fall on them or not?

You seem to have some really strong characters. And I love their names--Isadore, Lanna. Write more soon? surprised  

[lidless_i]

Nice way to open it up... captivate the attention, cave-ins do. Not much to say that hasn't been said by someone else here already... though I suppose I should at least comment on how it struck me as unique. Just my perspective, but, while love and jealousy are common topics, the cave-in and how crazy that Lanna person appeared, seemed to come together to form something uncommon. Just my opinion.  

[Reese_Roper]

I was confused.

Quote:

Lanna stumbled over the jumbled rocks till she same to Isadore's shaken form. She was silent and numbly looking at him.
Lanna took one look at his unconscious form and picked up a small stone and drove it with all her might into Isadore's skull.
Lanna rapped her arms around his form, pulled him up and dragged him as far away from Isadore as she could.

In the bold sentence, it sounds like "he" is Isadore. But in the next sentence, Isadore feels like another person. I mean, it felt like "he" and "Isadore" switched.

It might be less confusing if you said "...unconscious form, then turned away and..." to give the sense of another person.  

[Sors]

Thanks for the constructive critiques guys! <3 This is seriously the only place I get them.

 

[KirbyVictorious]

You know it.

Okay. Who is Isadore? Who's the dude?

What's going on?

Why isn't anything hitting Lanna?