Chick Tracts (From Your Friendly, Neighborhood Fundie <3)

[[Angry Masturbation]]

For those not in the know, Jack Chick is the American super-fundie who began publishing Chick Tracts in the '60s. Chick Tracts are commonly found in churches and handed out by people witnessing, much to the annoyance of everyone with a shred of decency. Generally considered controversial by leftist hippies, the lessons tend to focus around hell and punishment. Because God loves you, children.

Chick uses his impeccable logic...

(Yarr! Tis' a seaworthy craft, but will we be able to fit the tyrannosaurus rex in it?)

Irrefutable knowledge...

(The post scripts make it extra true!)

And strong people skills...

(Lolz...it's just so...I can't even...just...just lolz)

...To bring to light the fact that non-Christians enjoy practicing witchcraft, often have demons and usually die of AIDS in under three months of contracting it. He regularly puts his two favorite teaching methods -fear and blatant lies- to good use while converting...because everyone knows that if you aren't christian, you're stupid and will believe anything. Right?

Everyones' Uncle Bob plays a regular part in Chick Tracts. Who wouldn't trust a face like that?



By the end of each comic, he's usually reduced someone to a similar state as the one this poor girl is in: sobbing on the floor and begging an invisible man in the sky to forgive her for reading Harry Potter.


That, or they're dead. Sometimes both.

As funny as Chick Tracts can be, they're also often very hard to read...it's pretty eye-opening (and really rather frightening) that people think like this, and will not only misrepresent the truth, but ignore it all together and replace it with their own to convince people they're right.

Chick Tracts can all be accessed here and here (with amusing reviews and much more!). Give 'em a look...which are most disturbing? Which made you laugh? Which top your list of 'stupidest things ever concocted by the mind of man'?

 

[Lunar Falcon]

Fit a tryrannosaurus nothing, try two of each kind of sauropod, to say they were large is an understatement. Not a boat we're talking about anymore, more like a floating continent. And Jack Chick is insulting to my intelligence, I find the comic his site has on the satanic nature of rock music to be amusing though.  

[[Angry Masturbation]]

Too true xD

I've yet to read that one yet (I'll have to keep an eye out for it) but I think I've found my all-time favorite already:



OH FOR THE LOVE OF HYPOCRASY D:

 

[Arios V]

That's not an ark....that's just a box, it doesn't even look like it will float.

As for the rest of the comics......the absurdity of them hurts my brain and my eyes. In fact, I think I just felt my IQ drop a few points.  

[ProjectOmicron88]

 

[Tenth Speed Writer]

Because, as we all know, lying to children is the way to go.
...and that really, honestly scares me.  

[[Angry Masturbation]]

Of course. Kids'll believe anything as long as you sound really, really serious about it.

D: They scare me too. I'm trying to figure out all the times they take it upon themselves to pound into our heads the fact everyone is going to Hell if they aren't a Born Again Christian. You could dedicate your life to curing AIDS, adopt and love a dozen orphaned 3rd world children and give half your paycheck to feed the starving each month, and if you just so happen to be, say, a Jew, it doesn't matter. No heaven for you.

But on the other hand, the sociopathic serial rapist who repents on his deathbed out of a fear of hell, is good to go.

'Tis a ******** up world we live in ._.


...On second thought I'm rather fond of the world. The problem is probably more the fact that it's jam-packed full of self-righteous ********>  

[Meirelle]

I've seen many, many links to Chick Tracts.

But you've set this thread up so nice! rofl rofl  

[sora987]

I can't really read those comics. They're so stupid they make me sick. I wanna know the parents who actually make their kids read that f#@ked up stuff.
By the way Meirelle, where did you get your little animated picture?  

[Koravin]

I can only read a few at a time. I laugh and cry.  

[EmmaRaikou]

This one is my absolute favorite. A friend of mine got it Trick-or-Treating a couple of years ago.

The mom is such a b***h. :/  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

EmmaRaikou

This one is my absolute favorite. A friend of mine got it Trick-or-Treating a couple of years ago.

The mom is such a b***h. :/

Ugh. The "morale" of that one really disgusts me. It's the breaking point from religion as a motive to do good and avoid bad, to a basis for superstition and a badly interpreted "book'o'rules."  

[AnonymouZ]

DOOD! That last one is so freaking disgusting. However... you've got to wonder. Do kids nowadays believe that hell is THAT bad? I mean... if they play as much videogames as i think they do, then hell should be molding to just another place to hang out... for "eternity."  

[Lunar Falcon]

Heh, my little sister's best friend has tried telling her basically the same message that only Christians go to heaven. Told her that she and her family were on a bright white boat of God and that my sister was drowning and wouldn't take the life raft. What she told her friend was priceless, "then let me drown in peace."  

[Habible]

Here's my favorite two =P

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1033/1033_01.asp

And this one

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp