She's getting away with murder...

[Sors]

I walked into the small weapons shop down one of the less visited halls in the mall. I stood there for a moment then it caught my eye. A thirty-two fold katana almost three feet in length.
"How much is that?" I asked pointing up to the blade. The shabby fat white man walked over eagerly to me and put his hand to his chin.
"Oh $480, you looking for your boy friend?" He asked not really being subtle at all.
"In a sense. I'll take it."
The man eyed me for a moment and then said, "Can I see your ID, you must be 18 to purchase a weapon."
I held out my credit card and drivers license and waited patiently as he placed the blade into a large cardboard box.
"You sure are one nice girl friend." He said softly and I smiled.
"You don't even know."

I drove to his house and pulled out a tape measure. The door was 1 1/3" thick, I marked off with a pencil on the sword exactly 1". I grabbed the hammer from behind the other seat in the pick up and waited for the only car on the road to pass.
I moved from the truck slowly, feeling firm, feeling determined, feeling insane.
I held the katana up to the door and with three hard swings knocked it the inch into the door at just about my chin level.
I pulled the heat sensing goggles I'd bought on ebay down on my eyes and flicked them on. Through them I watched him walk down the stairs to the door, obviously thinking the banging I'd made was someone knocking. I waited for the moment when he put his eye up against the little peep hole in the door and then set all my weight against it.
The sharp katana slid through the door easily with all my weight against it, and for a moment when it hit the air on the other side of the door it gathered immense speed before striking something else.
The hilt hit the door with a thud and slowly I pulled it back. Except for the last three inches it was throughly covered in blood.
I walked back to my truck and threw the katana on the tarp in the back and then wrapped it up.
I drove out to the forest not far from town, and on an empty patch of land I buried the katana, the tarp, the gloves, the fake ID, the fake credit card, and a single red rose.

On my way home one of the radio stations played "Getting Away With Murder." I turned it all the way up.  

[Voxxx]

whee  

[BlackHawkGS]

Hey now. Stabbing boyfriends with katanas is not common courtesy.

Though that was pretty awesome xd  

[KirbyVictorious]

That was terrible.

But it owned. mrgreen  

[Reese_Roper]

YES. xd  

[Xahmen]

A katana?
Well written but...
A katana?  

[Sors]

Zahmen

A katana?
Well written but...
A katana?

I felt Kill Bill esque?

 

[The Splendiferous Rufu]

Great. :3 I loved the dialogue between the gun salesman and the chick.
That brings me to my next point, though - all I think of her as is "the chick". It's just a girl killing someone, you know? Not that killing people is good, but there was no emotional weight behind it. Just the death and that's it. You broke out of that a little with Crumble, but now it's back to plain facts.
That was another thing - you described everything in detail, but none of it shocked me. You could go two ways in describing a death - hover away from the actual thing and let the reader fill in the blank or describe with horribly gory detail. I think you're hovering somewhere closer to the second option - so I'd say, hey, go all out. Open the door and show the gaping hole in his skull, if you want.
...All just suggestions, of course. o.o;;

<3RUFU

 

[in the flicker.]

i enjoyed reading this. quite interesting.

I have to agree with Rufu, though. It lacks that emotional punch to the stomach associated with stark killings.

a smaller thing: "all my weight" is somehow redundant the two times you used it. Think of something different for it. Might require a rewording of either sentence.

but seriously, this is fairly badass. I think it could be really awesome with some tweaking.