My Fanfictions - Please Leave Me Feedback?

[Nhei]

Hiya folks.

I'm Neroili, and I've been writing for about 6 years now. I mostly write fanficton and roleplay, but I do have a work-in-progress novel that I started working on in high school called 'Stalk'. I'm mostly concentrating on my fanfictions at the moment, and I've got a few online.

I'm posting this because I would be very appreciative if people within this guild could read and review my current Harry Potter fanfictions at the following link. I'm not looking for you to read them all, but one would be great.

Thank you.

Please do not steal any of my work - I've worked really hard on it!

Harry Potter Fanfiction.com  

[penandpaper67]

I read the one called "There Was Once..." It was very good. I really liked the complexity you gave to Hermione's thoughts. There were a few sentence structure errors and some odd wordings. I know that you were trying to use the whole "There was once a little girl..." theme to connect everything, but it would probably flow more smoothly without those extra additions. (These are just suggestions. Please don't be offended if I sound mean. sweatdrop I'm not trying to.)  

[Nhei]

I am not offended at all.

It's constructive criticism and I appreciate it.

Could you pick out these errors and let me know where they are? If you could that would be great.  

[penandpaper67]

I don't have time right now, but I'll PM you when I do.  

[Inepta]

Wonderfull! Another fun fick author so nice to meet You I'll read all Your works when I finich with my exam session smile  

[penandpaper67]

Just so you know, I'm moving this topic to the new subforum.