Game Quotes

[Dragostae]

We all have stupid/silly game quotes from our various games. Go ahead and share them here.  

[Berzerker_prime]

Here's one that's become a classic in my beloved Company of the Combustible Commode...

"I cast detect drow with a blast radius centered here."
"Wait, detect drow is a fireball!?!"
- Amarthir and Xyphael.

I've got a million of 'em, but I gotta find most of 'em in my notes...

Berz.  

[Mars Yggdrasil]

So this guy's character is taking over a church for it's followers. He has just killed the priest and is busy making his speech to the gathered. The DM, playing the unlucky cult, has one of them stammer "Where did you come from?"
To which this guy replies, "A deep, dark, pestilence infected...." and pausing for a dramatic pause I call out "Your mother!!!"

Yeah, that was lame. The campaign I'm in deals more in odd situations. The ninja has failed all his dexterity rolls and literally got smacked by the broadside of a barn.  

[ReD_the_white_werewolf]

"Should I go give Mere a hand, Drow?"
"Naw, the demon goat can handle herself."
"Thats QUEEN demon goat to you."

and..

Kyra grinned cutely, widening her eyes and giggling, bringing her shoulders in then drawing one foot across the ground as she traced invisable patterns.
Akai's eye twitched spasmatically in horror.
(Kyra gains a +1 on her next 'cause fear' check.)  

[Hydrogen Nebula]

Dungeons and Dragons
Okay we're in the plane of Thantos ... which is a layer of Hell ...

And the bard, the cleric and me the barbarian are in this shop, haggling for equipment with a Lych ...

The bard has a charisma of OMG ... and naturally she got the Lych's attention....

The Cleric is haggling for a +4 item and the Lych wants the bard ...so they start haggling a price for her to exchange to get the equipment we needed...

and of course she was distracted by something shiny, being a spell scale, after a while she goes "Did you just try to sell me for a +4 Item?!"


Then for all the Theans out there ... (7th Sea)

We're in a street brawl with some henchman... when the leader of our group, a normally inattentive Voddaccean Scholar, takes out his sword, points it at a vulnerable area on the man and threatens him, later the player goes "I just used Aldana to do a Snedig move!"  

[darth coin]

when ever i use anything thats devestating but also efective.

"What, everyone lived."  

[Sakura Nikos]

I play a pixie... and this was her latest damage...

DM: As you fly around you notice a Kree watching you.
Me: Flies up to Kree, looking rather inquitaivly, "Do you get fleas?"

My pixie was hit with a very high lvl fireball...>:3 I survived with one hit point, and now travel in a bird cage. >.> I've been grounded.  

[Berzerker_prime]

I'll let this one speak for itself...

"I hope you know what you're doing."
"I'll let you know when I do."
"Well, we're doomed."
- Hadoriel and Ghan, CotCC.  

[DainTrinity]

I have this one guy in my group who constantly plays ridiculously. Typically he either ends up raped, with his genitals cut off, deemed retarded, etc. I usually allow it since I like the levity in my serious DMing style.

Here's an example: His character had walked into a farmer's house which had invited him and another character, a female's who's race allowed them to shapeshift into a bear at will, to stay for dinner. So he walks in, and his first instinct is to have sex with the farmer's wife. Then the kids. He was only kidding, but I was kind of getting tired of the humour, so the next time he said something about having sex with the female character I took that as an action. So she turned into a bear and killed him.

Not quite a quote, but I found it funny, although it was kind of sad since that was just at the beginning of the adventure.  

[LilianGreene]

In a game I am GMing...

Player: Sorry, thought the bartender was the foreman.
Myself: Sorry, all the dwarves have the same voice actor.

In a superhero RP in which I played the super strength hero.

Ally: Do something! Something that doesn't involve smashing something!
Myself: But smashing things is my only power!

I tried to be diplomatic and friendly in that game, but hampered that with early batman-esque crime stopping efforts. The end result, I had a passive intimidate check, with everyone we met freaking out and shooting at me and... my very presence made a mess and all i could was stand there. Fun, though... mrgreen  

[Berzerker_prime]

Ah, superhero games...

"Hi! I'm Duplikette! I came up with that name myself. Everyone back at the hangout calls me 'Dupe,' for short!"

Ahhh... little D. How cute and naive you are. I love playing you... all twenty-six of you.

Berz.  

[Vita est somnium]

While we were trying to pull off a massive lie in front of an NPC:
"I'm not a fool."
"Well, you are a gnome."
*pause*
DM: "Are you really saying that to him?"  

[Dragostae]

We have doozies from ours. The permanent cast, so you're not confused as to who is what, is as follows.

A former hobgoblin, now dragonborn, cleric of Lathander and Tamara
A half-silver dragon kobold vassal of Bahamut
A warforged drunken master, who has a portable hole installed in his chest cavity. He is our Bender.
A lesbian whisper gnome rogue, who has a penchant for sun-elves.
A former halfling, now bugbear, rogue, clearly Chaotic Stupid.

Dragonborn: "This is the point where the DM starts hitting the hard liquor and starts statting out Ninja Nazi Chickens."
Kobold: "Farspawn Ninja Nazi Chickens."

Bender: "Yay! Splatter-happy fun time!"

Gnome: "Oh, you're Smokey the Bugbear!"

Kobold: "The best way to run away from a displacer beast is to run right where you last saw it."

DM: "No fewer than seven chests of different sizes."
Kobold: "I call the double Ds!"

Gnome: "If you can't hit the broad side of a barn, you're screwed."
Bender: "Or a Stormtrooper."

(The Bender looks at the Gnome's player's shirt, a glow-in-the-dark skeleton shirt from Halloween.)
Bender: "You're wearing a a skeleton shirt...it doesn't get more pornographic than that."

Bender: How does true-seeing work with beer goggles?

DM: You'll have to teach them common, they only know Draconic.
Kobold: There's nothing wrong with Draconic, it's the language of the Dracons...

(The party is in a forest, with trees oozing some nasty-looking sap. The Bender wants to ferment it to make an alcoholic beverage.)
Bender: It's black and oozing already!
DM: It's more Guinness than Guinness?

DM: What's the Konami code for Warforged sex?

Gnome: Hey [dragonborn], I need to be bonked!
Dragonborn: How much do you need so I know when to stop?
(in reply to needing to be whacked with a wand of cure light)

Elemental Savant: And let the power of Cthulhu console me!
Gnome: Dude, Cthulhu won't console you. He'd eat you instead.

Bugbear, on starting his new religion: "I can write some salvation IOUs..."

Our game is obviously a bit towards the mature end of things, but it's pretty bad. And, with a revolving door of PCs, things can get quite interesting.