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 Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:11 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:59 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:15 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:40 am
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Stole this list from
http://www.gotlines.com/lines/funny.php
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that!
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too!
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck.
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.
Are those space pants? Because your a** is out of this world!
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
You're ugly, but you intrigue me...
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven?
You turn my software into hardware!
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink.
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
You know what would look good on you? Me!
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty.
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway.
Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers.
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.
Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth!
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed?
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!
Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed?
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...
I'm gay, think you can convert me?
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim.
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar!
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?
Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!
My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed.
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!
Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long.
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!
Bond....James Bond
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?
Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven!
Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my a**, my G-String and you!
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?
Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK
A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:31 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:17 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:03 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:59 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:12 pm
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Reply
