Desire

[KirbyVictorious]

Like most people, I am unsatisfied.

What I have and what I want will always be two separate things.

I am an individual, an island; my world is alien to the worlds around me. Its laws don't agree with mine; yet its gravity pulls me into its orbit like so many others. Naturally, I am not allowed to think for myself until I am old enough to do so; I must be trained to think and act like an American, a lady, a student, an obedient child.

That isn't what I want.

I want....

I want to go to California, to New York, to Lake Michigan, to Alaska, to Hawaii, to the Grand Canyon.

I want to travel to Italy, stay in an Italian house and eat Italian food and speak Italian and breathe in the countryside, the smell of olives, wine, and sun-baked earth.

I want to climb a mountaintop and shout my name from the summit, raising my arms and tasting the sky.

I want to be everywhere and see everything: Chinese New Year parades, Tokyo, Indian dances, Muslim mosques, African tribal ceremonies, Swedish weddings, French art, South American rainforests, Antarctica, the Outback, Iceland, Ireland's emerald hills, Native American buffalo hunts.

I want to be the heroine of my own story, defeat enemies, brave the elements, go to any fearless lengths to meet the one I love.

I want to ride on a train, a sailboat, a ship.

I want to remember the good old days, the black-and-white westerns and romances where people were free, where God existed, where Native Americans roamed the praries.

I want to be the one to catch Hitler/Osama/Sudaam/Jack the Ripper and smash their faces into the dirt.

I want an isolated cabin in the woods; I want country children from the 1950's playing in a pond, and a white-painted swing and a snow fort in the winter, and daisy chains in the spring.

I want life to be a fairytale; I want true love to exist, and to be mine.

I want to skydive
parachute
snowboard
surf
hike
ref;

I want to jump into my fantasies and feel them all come true.

I want to know what a first kiss tastes like.

I want him to love me back.

I want sunlight, moonlight, dancing on the beach--spin, dip, kiss. Whispered words beneath the blankets; lying in the grass and watching the stars.

Old drive-in movies. Cheap popcorn and toffee. Holding hands. Kisses on the cheek, the neck, the lips.

Sitting at the piano and letting the fingers roam; playing like a master, every song I can dream of.

Walking into a store, a bar, a house--welcome back all around, adn everyone knows my name. Belonging; friendship.

Love, showers of love--I want to give, I want to receive.

I want someone to look up to me with gratitude in their eyes. I want someone to appreciate me; I want the opportunity to earn their trust.

I want to save the world, and destroy it.

I want true love, a house on an island, wisdom, truth, a goodnight kiss.

I want what everyone wants.

And one day, when the pain of life is gone, I can look back and remember what my perfect life would be....

Will I have it? Will I still want it?

Or will I die unfulfilled?

It is something we all must decide. Live our lives...or die trying?



~
Sorry. Just ranting.  

[Isianya]

I. Love. This.

I think this "rant" (which it is sooo much more than that) effectively expresses what we all want: To remember our lives and/or be remembered. To experience everything there is before it's gone. To... well, live life to the fullest.

Unfortunately, the closest I'll ever get to 99.9% of things you metioned is in my own writing. Le sigh.

.:~o*'Isianya'*o~:.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Exactly. *sigh*

I'm glad you like it. ^^ You should read that short. It was lovely.  

[Oukow]

My day already feels like it's gone down hill filled with boredom and waisting the minutes, seconds away. But after reading this, I really want to do something eventful. And for me that would be going to sleep on time tonight, reading to Brownie, drawing and drawing, and writting and writting. Maybe finish reading the current book I'm on!

Even though I can't leave, I can't escape school, I can't leave the house, I can go into another world, whether it be into a drawing, a peice of my own writing, or into somebody elses. Closing one's eyes to reality, and opening them to fantasy is possible, but one has to keep in mind, that sometimes you can't always stay in a fantasy wolrd forever if you're going to loose track of reality.

They say anything is possible if you just believe! But how is just believing going to help? You need money, knowledge, the strength. Of course believing too, but if that's all you have, will that really just help you? If you just believe and don't do anything then, that's a really bad example for the quote.

I'm rambling now, too. But that's another way to express one's self and escape! And I'm gonna get off the internet now and go do something that doesn't make me feel like I'm waisting away.

By the way I found this really lovely and meaningful and it's really awesome, even if you were just ranting. <3 heart <3  

[KirbyVictorious]

I'm glad you liked it! ^^ You're so optimistic. ><  

[Oukow]

Is that good? ><; And I'm glad you wrote it! =3  

[KirbyVictorious]

Nyuu! *happy nyuu that is*  

[Oukow]

*happy nyuus with you*