help me please!!!!

[divin_amour]

can someone please help me. long story short, my life has been hell since i was 6. ive been cutting for a long time and almost committed suicide many times. a few months ago, my bf halfway broke up with me because i was cutting alot (he doesnt understand and left me in my time of need). we got back together and he made me promise not to cut anymore. well my life still sucks and i sometimes doubt my relationship with him because of peoples' negativity and other guys niceness. i really want to cut and i have urges to just end my life because it sucks and i dont deserve to live anyways. i hate myself. i cant break my promise to him. what do i do?? how do i not cut? i really want to. help me!!! if i do it will end my relationship and even though i sometimes doubt him, i do truly love him and he loves me and since he's not a cutter he doesnt know what its like. he asked me to marry him. i dont want to mess this up. how do i not cut. and give me answers that work not a bunch of stuff you read in a book. i need real answers.  

[itzalwaysraining]

i think if u rly rly like him when u want 2 cut dont and (if u rly like him) instead of violence think of ur love for him that migth give you the strength  

[divin_amour]

......._____________________
....../ '---______________----__] = = = = ♥
...../_==O;;;;;;;;__________.
:/
.....),---.(_(____)/.....
....// (..) ),----"....
...//____//......
..//____//......
.//____//......
..-------

thanks for the advice. yeah, his love is the only thing stopping me, the only reason im still here!