We had it all planed out. He would come down for the weekend to take me to a drama club dance. It was all worked out. Both of us and our parents were okay with it. It was going to be fine, right?
Wrong.
I got a call from him tonight, two days before the said date. His parents said that they wouldn't let him come to see me because he's failing a class. His parents also said to keep it short. He did. He hung up after getting his point across.
We were dating for six months before tonight, and the tenth markes our seventh month. He left in October 2007 to live two hours away from me, which isn't that far. In the time he's been away, he's only come back to see me once.
It's hard, though. Neither of us can drive yet, and with the price of gas going up and up, even when we can drive, we won't want to. On top of that, school is important to both my family and his.
His birthday is in two weeks. I planed that, when me and my mother picked him up, I would give him his birthday prestent. It would have all worked out. Would have, being the key word here.
It's already been an hour and I feel worse. Maybe it's because I got my hopes too high. Maybe it's because I was expecting too much from him. Maybe it was just that I missed him so much and wanted him home with me. I don't know. What I do know clearly is that I have been sitting in the dark listening to music for a while now and my depression is clearly not getting any better. There are many other posts like this one, I'm sure, but I would like some answers to better help me.
I feel like doing nothing; not moving, not eating, and I hardly have the energy to type this. What I'm asking for is help.
Please help me. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I finaly decide to end it all. I know that it's not right to kill yourself, that it's the easy way out, but my head is too clouded to think clearly. I need someone...anyone just to tell me that it's okay...that it would all have worked out somehow. That it's just for a while...that this wave of emotion will just pass.
I wish I could help myself...I find it just too hard....I want to give it all up.
Please
. . . . .
Help me