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Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 12:47 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:31 pm
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Wow, sweetie. That's all I can say right now. But to get to the point, it's a transition most likely. I've experienced a situation quite similar to this, but not at the same.
First off, I know exactly how it feels to purposefully drop your grades for some silly reason. And I suggest you not do it. Yes, You may still have to deal with the people you strongly dislike, but it's something that you'll have to overcome. Since the year is coming to a close, end it well enough that you're passing and break the ties with old friends that you've come to dislike.
Secondly, the people you 'hate' are the people you must overcome to move on in life. You can easily do what they do to you, like ignore them, dismiss them, or just not talk to them. If they ask you why, be blunt with them. You shouldn't have to lie so you can still be 'friends' with them. Remember, you're comfortability and happiness is more important than others. If you don't like how they are treating you, say something about it. If they pick on you, pick on them. Karma is a b***h, they should learn about it.
Next, the cutting thing, I sincerely do hope you get help. I used to, but I got over it. If you're mother is that inconsiderate of your feelings, then let her be. She is your mother, and she may act like she doesn't like you to you, but that does not mean that she doesn't want to help you. My mother told me that if I liked cutting so much, that I should keep doing it. My school called her, and she still didn't get me help. But I got over it because I knew I had to end it sooner or later or It might end up with me dead and someone hurt. Find an alternative, you shouldn't need medication unless it's necessary and if you do get a Counselor, talk to them. They are there to talk to you.
As well, don't listen to what people say about you. If they make fun of you, laugh at it because it is about you. You can easily turn those things into jokes and agree with an ironic sense of humor. It's like tripping or doing something embarrassing and laughing it off.
If you don't transfer schools, what do you plan on doing? You should face it head on. And if you are in the eighth grade now, you might end up not going to the same school as her if you go to High school, if you're high schools are like mine.
Really, sweetheart, you should face these kind of things head on. Because what doesn't break you or whatever obstacle you come up against, if you face forward and continue forward, it'll build up your character and make you feel better than ever once it's over with.
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:58 am
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Okay so some things of changed since then.
A while ago my friends came over Kelce, Katherine, Marbella, and Ryan and we had planned to go out for a little bit. So we were just walking out the door when I whispered for Marbella and Ryan to run back and lock Kelce and Katherine out as a joke. So we did that and when we looked out the window Kelce and Katherine looked back, Ignored it and kept going. So we sat around for a while thinking that they would come back.
A little later we walked out to go look for them and found them sitting at a try near the park. Katherine seemed really hyper and happy but Kelce was pissed. So I apologized and offered for us to go out and get ice cream and that I would pay for it. She...Flipped me off. Katherine just said "C'mon it was just a joke we would probably do the same thing to them." but Kelce still didn't want to come. So Katherine stayed back with kelce and the rest of us left. Once we walked a little ways away Ryan said "God what a b***h."
Later that night I ended up calling Kelce and apologizing again and eventually we got into a conversation and she said that I act like someone I'm not. She said that I try to act depressed because I think it's cool. Which I don't if anything I act like a happy idiot most of the time. Or at least try to. And most of the time when Kelce does think I'm depressed I'm usually just tired. I usually have sudden burst of energy but then just crash.
The next day during lunch break I sat with Marbella and Got out my sharpies and just basically drew all over her hands and over my hands XP and Marbella said something out of random. I didn't bring up the subject or anything She said that she was getting a little more pissed at kelce and that she had purposley been trying to avoid her. I kinda just changed the subject cause I didn't want to think about Kelce.
Later that day in PE Kelce and Katherine were in a fight. No surprise. They get in fights a lot. It apperently had something to do with the day before after Me,Marbella, and Ryan had left. I didn't think it was a big deal and as usual I would stay with Katherine in the fight. This usually worked out for me because then Katherine can say things like "She's so ******** dramatic and its ok when she does something to you but when you do the same thing back its not alright." and I just sit there and say "I know." Turned out this Fight was bigger then expected because Katherine ended up yelling and crying at kelce. And They've gotten in a lot of fights before. And I've know Katherine for about 3 or 4 years. and this is the first time I've seen her cry.
So I was pissed off about this beyond belief. I walked Katherine to her next class and gave her a hug. I was pissed off manly because Katherine is such a good friend to Kelce and now she's geting treated like this. Word got around about this. I talked with Ryan a bit about it. He said that he likes everyone in our group of friends. Except Kelce. and I found out that Ryan also self injures to deal with certain things. I told him how I had purposely been trying to fail my classes just so I would get sent up to portland. He said "Yeah...I'd probably try to run away to if it wasn't for my friends."
So that weekend Marbella, Ryan, and Me all went to the mall. We ended up geting kicked out of a store for being to loud and I was really bored so I bought this toy axe and we played "terrorist tag." throughout the mall. It was pretty amazing. We were at the mall for about 5 hours. Its funny cause at first I said "You guys wanna see if kelce wants to come with us?" and both of them said "OH MY GOD NO!!" and I just thought "This feels ******** GREAT"
So Marbella spent the night and we went walking out around town the next and ran into Michael.(We live in a reaaaally small town. The biggest store here is Bi-Mart) So we went and sat on a bench and Michael just yelled at people who drove by like "BIG TRUCK, HUH!? THAT MEANS YOU HAVE A TINY p***s!!" and "Wow your so cool. Yeah. YOUR DRIVING A ******** FORD TAURUS!! No, seriosly, you are THE s**t around here!" Great times.
So FINAL day of school. Worked my a** off with A LOT of help from Marbella and now I've passed the 8th grade and heading into high school. Things are geting a little better I guess.
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:07 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 12:35 pm
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