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Reply Writing: Prose
Dreamwalker (Comments Welcome!)

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Little-Lenah

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:07 pm
Another story that I am working on. I hope you like it whee

“Ha! Take that!” Zeth yelled, whacking the guard on the back of his head with a staff. He hoped he hadn’t killed him. Killing was a horrible thing to do. But he had to save the girl they held hostage. Holding someone hostage was also a horrible thing to do.
He picked up the key from an unconscious guard’s belt and stuck it in the lock. Click. It turned smoothly and the door opened without a sound.
The girl looked up. She looked as if she might have been beautiful at one time, but her grey eyes were puffy from crying and her lip swollen from biting it. Her hair was a light brown colour, but it was lank and dead looking. She had been in there for a while.
It also smelled. Really bad. In the corner there was a pail. He knew that it was where she had been doing her business for as long as she had been held captive here. He tried not to wrinkle his nose.
The girl sort of whimpered and scuttled back farther in to her cell. She was afraid of him…
“Um…I came to free you.” Zeth said, not knowing what else to say.
Hope sparked in the girl ’s eyes. She started to inch towards the door, but stopped. Could this be a trick?
“How do I know you won’t slam it in my face the moment I get close enough?” Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. She was in desperate need of water.
Zeth stepped out from the doorway. The girl narrowed her eyes. “Farther.” She commanded. He backed up a couple more steps and stepped over a guard. The girl seemed to think that he was far enough and crawled towards the door. She was still cautious, though.
When she reached the doorway, she clutched at the frame as she stood up.
“Thank you.” She said stiffly before she bent over and started rooting through the guard’s pockets.
“Hey! What are you doing that for??” Zeth said in alarm.
The girl turned to him; her grey eyes gave him a cool stare. He shivered.
“Why shouldn’t I? They stole from me.” She reached in to a pocket and pulled out a necklace. It was simple-there was a fine silver chain that had a blue star shaped gem in it-but it was beautiful.
“Oh.” Was all Zeth said.
She put the necklace on and continued to look through the guard’s pockets. A couple bracelets, a simple ring, and a little bit of money (not much, but she took it anyways) later, she was done.
The girl glared at Zeth as she looked him up and down. “What are you still doing here?” She asked.
Zeth was dumbfounded.
“I thought you might need help…?” The girl let the question hang in the air between them. Zeth fidgeted uncomfortably.
The girl took the guard’s water flask and drank it all. She dropped it unceremoniously on the floor.
“Well, then. You might want to make yourself useful.” She said, just as an off-guard sentry came around the corner. She gave a little smirk as she wiggled her fingers at the sentry. The man went off to sound the alarm but he never had the chance. Zeth whacked him on the head with his staff before he had a chance to get as far as a single step.
“At least let me know your name in case we get in trouble” Zeth complained.
“Reine” The girl said coldly. “Now tell me yours.”
She was really starting to get on his nerves now. She was talking to him like she was superior to him.
“Zeth.” He said, trying to hide his irritation.
One of the guards was coming to. Reine kicked him hard in the head and the man went instantly limp. She walked away from him and down the torch-lit corridor. “Coming?” She asked, over her shoulder.
Zeth stepped over the two unconscious guards and hurried to catch up to her. Why he was rescuing her, he didn’t know. He just was. That was the only answer he could come up with.
“Where are we?” He asked.
She looked at him like are you an idiot or what. “We’re in the dungeons of King Orion’s castle.”
King Orion. Right. He would have to remember that.
Zeth didn’t ask any more questions and Reine didn’t say anymore. He let her navigate the maze of passageways and hope that she wasn’t getting them lost. They didn’t meet anyone else as they walked. Finally, she stopped. They had reached a dead end.
Zeth felt himself turn cold. They were lost, weren’t they.
Reine knelt down and started to feel her way up the wall. “Now, where is it…?’ She muttered under her breath. Finally, she found what she was looking for. There was an almost invisible notch in the wall. She pushed it and the wall slid soundlessly open. Zeth’s mouth hung open.
“A servant’s passageway.” She explained detachedly.
“Oh…”
The door had opened up to a tightly spiralling staircase. She walked away and started up the stairs while Zeth was still looking at the door, wondering about how it opened like that. He shook his head and suddenly realized that Reine wasn’t there. Taking the steps two at a time, he ran up them to catch up to her.
At the top, she put a finger to her lips. This time she opened the door and peered out. Satisfied that there was no one there, she opened the door and motioned him forwards. They slipped out and she closed it. It blended in with the wooden panelling perfectly. Reine ran down the hall without making a single sound. The floor was made of a polished grey stone, well worn from generations of feet walking over it. The walls, though, were new looking. The wood panels were a dark cherry colour that continued at far as he could see.
“Coming?” Reine hissed from down the hall. Zeth wanted to run, but he knew he would never be as soundless as her, so he walked instead. As soon as he was close enough, she turned a corner and slipped down another hall. He sped up to keep her in sight. She slipped from one corridor to the next, always checking to see if anyone was coming. Finally, she stopped and waited for Zeth to catch up.
“Why is there no one here?” Zeth whispered.
She gave him another one of those looks.
“It’s night time.” She whispered back in a mocking, are you stupid tone.
“Oh…”
He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.
Reine peered around the corner and saw a guard patrolling the hallway. She pushed Zeth against the wall with one arm.
“Wha-” He started to say, but Reine shot him a glare that looked like it could kill. His mouth snapped shut so fast that he almost bit his tongue.
The patrol was whistling; not paying very much attention to his surroundings. He strolled along like he hadn’t a care in the world, not noticing the escapee and her rescuer hiding in the shadows a few feet away.
As soon as he left, Reine darted across the hall and opened the door directly across from where they had been hiding. She slipped inside and waved Zeth over. Zeth padded over as silently as he could and closed the door behind him.
Reine had slipped behind a screen.
“Stay where you are.” She ordered him.
Zeth stayed where he was.
When she walked out from behind the screen, she was no longer wearing the dirty, frayed dress from before. She now stood before him in black boots, dark brown pants and a white long-sleeved shirt.
Zeth opened his mouth to ask where she got the clothes from.
“I have friends in the palace.” She explained shortly.
She was still dirty from not washing from such a long time, but the clothes went a long way towards helping her appearance.
She walked out of the room and Zeth followed.
“Hey! You two! What are you doing around here at this hour!”
Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the patrol.
“Move.” Reine hissed at him.
She walked towards the man and put on a sweet smile. “Well, sir, I couldn’t sleep. So my friend and I decided to take a stroll through the palace.”
The patrol looked at Zeth, sizing him up.
“And why is your friend carrying a staff?” The man asked suspiciously.
“Well,” She said, still smiling her fake little smile. “In case he has to protect me. I can’t have anyone knowing that I’m here.”
She let out a little giggle and it was lights out for the man. Zeth whacked him over the head. He would have a horrible headache when he woke up.
“Nighty night!” Reine said.
She then proceeded to drag the man over to the room they had just left. By the time that was done, her face had transformed back in to it’s usual neutral look.
She walked back out into the corridor. Zeth followed. He seemed to be doing a lot of following in the past hour.
She walked to the end of the hall and turned to the left.
“Um…where are we going?” Zeth asked hesitantly.
“Main hall. There’s a secret passage behind the High Table.”
Secret passage behind the high table. He would have to remember that too.
They reached the Main Hall without any more trouble. It was lucky for them and too bad for her captors.
Riene strode across the main hall and around the High Table. She knelt down once again and felt for the notch in the panelling. This time when she found it and pressed, a small hole opened up in the wall. She put her fingers in it and pulled. The door slid open without too much effort. She motioned for Zeth to come along. He walked in to the dark tunnel and closed the door behind him.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Zeth froze. What was that noise?
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Do you hear that?” He hissed.
“What.” Reine said flatly.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“That.” He said, as he heard it again.
“No…” She replied, using her you’re an idiot tone
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Then he realized what it was.
I opened my eyes and hit the snooze button on my alarm.
Everything that had happened was just a dream.
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:34 pm
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Little-Lenah

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Little-Lenah

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:34 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:35 pm
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Little-Lenah

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Little-Lenah

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:36 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:37 pm
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Little-Lenah

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Out of Kansas

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:55 pm
That's pretty good. ^^
I look forward to hearing more!  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:03 pm
I would like to hear more as well. I didn't really read it in depth (so I don't have grammar/punctuation critiques), but it looks pretty sound and your sentence structure seems good. The title is amazing! It gave me some ideas myself....  

penandpaper67
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Writing: Prose

 
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