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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:24 pm
*NOTE: this is about Lucy, a fictional character who may or may not be the star of a short story that someone really needs to bullying me into finishing. She is NOT an exaggerated version of myself. I am NOT emo. Grr.

Just saying.*



Lucy

How does one describe Lucy in the light?
Such a phenomenon has not been seen in years
Since the wicked stepmother of her story
Unfolded from the storybooks and bound her in paper chains.
She fell victim to the wolf, to the witch,
She was tied to the train tracks, locked in a tower,
And yet she was always the antithesis
Of the Damsel in Distress.

It was said that she was something to behold
All laughter and light, golden radiance
She held the sun in her hands
Darkness cringed away from Lucy, the sun’s child,
Daughter of the Light.
She shot sunbeams from her fingers
And blinded us with her smile
She sang as she glided smoothly across beds of spikes
And poetry drifted from every strand of her hair.

How does one describe Lucy in the dark?
Not possible, many say,
But the sun is always there, even in eclipse;
She was there, in plain sight
It was we who shut ourselves away, locked the doors and pulled the curtains down.
Lucy in the dark shines like a diamond,
But she can’t see herself;
She dreams of a light far away from her, unreachable yet, but there.
Her hands are coated in slime from slipping
Down the walls of the well,
The hole into which light couldn’t quite reach.
The poetry still whispers into the air
Only to be devoured by her ghosts
Her past shadows, her weaknesses, her future of insects and mud
Old hatred and new ways to tell the same lies
Creeping uninvited into every breath.
Lucy is always looking upward
Smiling and singing hoarsely into the darkness
Seeking the light that she can’t quite see
And wondering--will she reach it someday
Or will the force of her desire
Knock the impenetrable walls down stone by stone
And assume her to the surface,
To the world of light
Again?  
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:44 pm
I was very tempted to say, this made me sigh then leave. But I will not!

One thing that I really liked was the structure difference between light and dark. Light is softer, allows for a break and structure.. But in the dark.. we are not only fumbling to find our way.. but ourselves. So having it all one stanza and run together in that form added a lot for me personally.  

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:27 pm
I didn't know that I did that :/ but cooooooool! and thanks heart  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:45 pm
3nodding  

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


NovaKing

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:57 pm
Very pretty kirby, as always. However, if I'm not mistaken, isn't the emo state of mind that there is NO light in the world? Ah well, no matter.

I've missed your poems Kirbs. Keep it up.  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:55 am
Okay, please, please forgive me for silently singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" the enitre time I was reading this. Your piece is vaguely reminescient of it. First, I loved it. The image of paper chains is very strong, but for reasons I don't feel like typing. Did you mean for that particular bit of symbology there? Because in thirty years from now, when English teachers are teaching about you, they're gonna read a whole lot into everything.  

Voxxx


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:09 pm
okay. no. that's UNFORGIVABLE. THere are lots better Lucys. Like elfen Lied Lucy, for example.

Um...the paper chains were like...well, imagine the pages of a fairy tale book coming to life and wrapping around you. that was the vision in my head. Paper chains are big with me though, I love books. So yes, english teachers can rave about that in a while.

Wait.....don't they only talk about you when you're dead? o.o  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:16 pm
Ahem. Barbara Kingfisher, anyone?

Also, I liked this a bunch, but not quite as much as I like your other pieces. Dunno why. This fell a little flat for me personally, I suppose.
 

d e s d e m o n o
Crew


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:24 pm
Can you imagine what English teachers would say about me..?

"She was a crack addict." whee  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:25 pm
lulz at Lucy! It's pretty much a guarantee that anyone named Lucy is going to be awesome.

Hm, it's different than your recent, Takish work. I like the point of it, but I must say I've seen it done before and the idea is quite quaint.  

Serenity Reed
Crew


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:46 pm
Quaint is a good thing.......right?

Remy....that's kinda true. unless you aren't a crack addict? They'll just be like...yeah, she had...unique ideas...so! onto shakespeare!  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:49 pm
Not really. =(  

Serenity Reed
Crew


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:51 pm
Quaint has good connnotations.

Okay. why is it not good? because you've seen it before?  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:54 pm
As they throw it in a trash can. crying

Oh well. No one understands me. But I don't mind. xd  

Tak-Jak
Vice Captain


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:06 pm
Oh, ignore the future english teachers. They're just shallow minded and prudish ><  
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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

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