Just something I wrote, please tell me what you think

[wordswithoutmercy]

Author's note: Okay. So I was bored when I wrote this. Simple as that. I just laid down and started writing. I am not quit sure as to what it means. I am posting it in here to see what y'all get out of it. Cause I have read it and read it and read it again. And I still don't understand it. I know it's probably horrible, but I warn you I am not very good at poetry.

Six Feet Under
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under.
Break me to pieces,
and expect me to clean up the mess,
your mess,
your disaster.
This beautiful disaster we have created,
with the sharp edges of the pieces of our hearts.
Carve out the four letter word love,
then the contrast of it,
hate.
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under,
under you.
Stand there,
with head held high,
laughing at my demise.
Is this the end?
The end of everything.
The end of everything we built with the pieces of our memories.
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under,
under you.

 

[Fairy Alchemist 96]

That is absolutly AMAZING! 3nodding  

[wordswithoutmercy]

Thank you. You are the first person to comment on this since it's been up. Finally!  

[III Jessica III]

its good  

[xXaiyokuXxXaryaXx]

i loved it
very deep  

[dallasp59]

Bloody_Rampage_36

Author's note: Okay. So I was bored when I wrote this. Simple as that. I just laid down and started writing. I am not quit sure as to what it means. I am posting it in here to see what y'all get out of it. Cause I have read it and read it and read it again. And I still don't understand it. I know it's probably horrible, but I warn you I am not very good at poetry.

Six Feet Under
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under.
Break me to pieces,
and expect me to clean up the mess,
your mess,
your disaster.
This beautiful disaster we have created,
with the sharp edges of the pieces of our hearts.
Carve out the four letter word love,
then the contrast of it,
hate.
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under,
under you.
Stand there,
with head held high,
laughing at my demise.
Is this the end?
The end of everything.
The end of everything we built with the pieces of our memories.
Build me up,
then tear me down.
Turn me around,
then throw me to the ground.
Barry me six feet under,
six feet under,
under you.

thats awsome.. u got talent girl  

[dallasp59]

thats awsome..... teach me how to do that  

[Symbolon]

Amazing, but I have Edgar Allan Poe on the brain, so everything else is paling in comparison.  

[childofthewolfpack]

It was good,it sounds like a brake up poem.  

[Neiryll Landsford]

good I'm also wishing to have talents like you so I can accomplish my goal....to become a writer... I am starting to write a story and I think of it as a good story but I don't know why I don't want to show it to anybody... though  

[kmelush]

i really like this heart but it would be the best with a better rhime! sweatdrop  

[crazy crazincraz]

perty kol ya no and i think it was perty pimpin  

[xX_iiRaWrPoOh_Xx]

That was so freakin awesome.... and thats comin from a good poetry writer, well ppl tell mi that, and this did seem ylk it was comin from wat u wer feeling at the moment, lyk i said, it was very gud!! 3nodding  

[smm61]

cool, loved it  

[781229-XY]

the lower u go.. the higher u rise... but it makes no difference... u are still in the same place... (i hope u get what i mean)