The Song With a Memory.

[Tak-Jak]

And we dance on the tables for something to eat,
take in all those fables that swim in the breeze.
The horse in the stable, she wishes to speak,
but can't place this melody that has stolen our feet.

He couldn't remember the place he'd been shown,
he just sang into that jacket of hers that was torn.
You won't find your freedom boy, in that arctic zone,
get back to the forest and sing on your own.

The giants, they find us, hiding beneath
a blue station wagon deserted in the street.
The concrete, it aches, under the August heat,
but Monday's a day we wish to never repeat.


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Author's Comments


I was visiting the upright piano that will soon be mine, and this song just suddenly arrived in my lap. I'm sure there's more to it but this is all she would say. Which is understandable, as right now I'm only an acquaintance. And you should never trust an acquaintance.  

[KirbyVictorious]

UPRIGHTS!!!! heart Though, I am rather fond of my baby grand...probably, cause it's an antique and all. But uprights are great. They sound wonderful and they don't take up so much space...now all you need is a room with great acoustics!!!

ANyway, the poem. I loved it. It was beautiful. And I understood maybe 75% of it this time. >< A record!

Beautiful. Amazing. I can visualize it and I wish I was there.  

[Tak-Jak]

Yeah, mum wants to get one. Apparently she knows how to play the piano.. confused And she wants to teach me.  

[d e s d e m o n o]

That was very strange and evocative. I don't know. Something about the rhyme scheme made it sit uneasily with me, but in a lovely way. Beautiful as ever, to be sure.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Tak-Jak

Yeah, mum wants to get one. Apparently she knows how to play the piano.. confused And she wants to teach me.

DUDE! That's kickass. Totally awesome. Tell adopted mummy that I love her even more. >< I didn't know she was musical.  

[Tak-Jak]

The rhyming was meant to make you feel that way Des. wink
I am not fond of rhyming or anything, so when it occurs I try to make it awkward and uneasy for the mind to comprehend, in contrast to the easily interpreted schemes.

And Kirby, I didn't know she was musical either. I caught her playing a piano in a store. And she said she had stopped playing a long time ago and what not.. but she still remembers.  

[Serenity Reed]

I really, really liked the first stanza. heart  

[Tak-Jak]

heart  

[Voxxx]

I loved the second stanza best, but this line

he just sang into that jacket of hers that was torn.

I dunno, I thought it threw things off. Starting with the word that. Loved the idea, but the wording bothered me. I don't know why.

You're another one of those writers that makes me want to stand in the corner and whisper my pathetic stories where no one can hear them. You don't write well, you shine. Imagining a Tak that didn't write well wold be like imagining a morning-bird without a song.  

[Tak-Jak]

I can see where you are coming from. For some reason it works and reads well in my head.. but I cannot tell you the tune in which I sing for that is all I have that is mine.  

[Voxxx]

Very true.