prompt 2

[AmenthystMoon]

already posted this on accident in the wrong post (twice!)but i'm re-posting it (again!)

i really don't have as much time now thats it's sept. but here's a start......

beginning of my piece as a continuation of one of my entries for "white room":
"this is the fabled gate?" she thought? "no principality, or choirs, or at the very least a "bell-boy/angel sort of thing?"
the fabled gates to which she was referring was a simple, white picket fence, surrounding a peacefull wood, a small "kissing gate" was the only entrance (besides the obvious hopping of the fence) she could see in any direction. she turned back towards the elevator.
"thats strange, it's not there anymore, i could have sworn....." she trailed off slowly. where she thought the elevator that she had arrived on there was an empty meadow, "right on the edge of the woods?" she asked aloud.
Both stretched off as far as she could see, separted by that same white picket fence.
"oh well, might as well just see where the gate leads me" and she started down the path through the woods and out of sight.....


hows that?  

[AmenthystMoon]

btw i forgot to add that the word was Principality, i may have used it wrong tho......  

[serephemeral]

Don't worry, how you used principality (an order of angels) is perfectly fine. I said to be creative, and so you did!

I would include your beginning piece (from the white room prompt, you said) with this, as to not confuse any readers, and I would definately keep going. I'm interested to see where this is headed!


Now for the technical stuff:

Capitalize! Dont' be afraid, they're your friends!

In creating a question in dialogue, you put the question mark at the end of the sentance, then a period after the ending: "This is the fabled gate?" she thought.

At the end of a dialogue, add a comma between the last word and the quotation mark. "Oh well, might as well just see where the gate leads me," and she started down the path through the woods and out of sight. (no elipsis here)

Hope this helps. Keep going!


For elipses (...) at the end of sentances, there should be four dots; three for the elipsis, and one for the period. At the end of a dialogue, there should be a comma, just as in a normal dialogue.  

[AmenthystMoon]

ok i didn't edit ot nething, but i put the prompt and the following corresponding prompt in my journal, ignore the 1st entry that has nothing to do with anything, just for laughs (don't ask it's what happens when i don't sleep)
so if any1 is confused read the entries and pm me with further questions  

[Collote]

I agree with Seraph, but I'd like to add to what she said. Some of the stuff in the middle doesn't make sense... maybe reread it?

Other than that, it's good!