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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

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Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:39 pm
The crocodiles are still sleeping and the memories haven't died.

We remember November,
the way it sat in front of the flames and told a story
of a mouse learning how to escape.

A waist sighs and I take hold of the telephone.
The voice on the other line remains silent.
Vacancy was the only language he knew how to speak.

So I take to the waves that thrash upon rocks,
speaking only in whispers because I have been
without a voice for so long.

The seashells have been smashed so no,
you can't hear this. You can't trace this echo,
this backwards spiral that offered an exit.

See how the stars shine even when you're drowning.
And when the sea rushes to fill up your soul, open
your lungs, let it fill you in ways they never would have.

And in that last moment before you embark
on eternal sleep, you will hear the waves sing
"you are loved, you are loved."  
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:12 pm
Well, that was interesting.... I liked it...  

lidless_i


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:09 pm
Thank you.  
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 4:29 pm
I'm rather fond of this one. It was meloncholy at first but then it took this slightly cheerful turn that somehow made it even more melencholy. How the flip do you spell that word anyway?  

KirbyVictorious


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:02 pm
Melancholy m'dear. Thank you.  
PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:44 pm
Have you ever read "Fragile Things" by Neil Gaiman? There's a short story in there that has all the months of the year taking turns to tell their stories in front of the fire.

The first part is confusing, the last part is lovely.  

d e s d e m o n o
Crew


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:57 pm
I happen to be an avid fan of Neil.

The Graveyard Book  
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:14 pm
Favorite line:

Tak-Jak
Vacancy was the only language he knew how to speak.



Somehow, this reminded me of The Road, but less intense.  

Chrysanthemum Moon


Rensing

PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:25 pm
Very lovely writing, I especially like the last two stanzas.
The first two sentences are my favorite, it somehow makes sense for November to have that sort of personification. n_n
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:33 pm
Tak-Jak
I happen to be an avid fan of Neil.

The Graveyard Book


Yay!

Also, *bounces up and down in seat* I WANTSES IT.  

d e s d e m o n o
Crew


Tak-Jak
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:17 pm
Thanks Renny. I have a thing for months, mythology, and sex. xd


@des: pre-ordered. blaugh

heart = Chrys  
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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

 
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