prompt 11

[AmenthystMoon]

These Familiar Halls

I walk these familiar halls
see oh so many familiar faces
yet missing that familiar feeling.

The same walls, ceilings, floors,
same faces, people, cliques
yet nothing feels the same.

I remember being here, I remember them,
but I ask myself
do I really want to remember?

I know where I am,
I know who to expect,
but beyond that, I know nothing.

The halls are bustling,
packed with people of all sorts,
I wish I was that full.

These halls in all their familiarity,
these people in all their sameness
I see them everyday, and still I am lost.

Familiar, same, remember, know,
things that in their regularity,
ought to offer some comfort.

But all I feel is a desire to escape,
to escape the oppressing familiarity,
to see something new and not the same.

To find something worth remembering.
to seek the unknown,
in short, i seek something else.

Something of which I know not.  

[Collote]

This is good. (:

Just a few things:

Capital letters! Like capital "I"... please, don't be afraid of them, USE them.

Also, I'd use periods. I'm pretty sure that with poems you either use punctuation or you don't. Since you have commas and questions marks... I think you should use periods, too.

Other than that, great job!  

[AmenthystMoon]

ok, i have a question though, poetry can be free of rules right? for this poem i was trying to capture the feeling of emptiness and loneliness that come from being a misfit in high school so hopefully by ignoring punctuation i capture the teen feeling and true despair.....  

[Collote]

Yeah, in that case, you should take all punctuation out... commas/question marks included.  

[serephemeral]

I agree with Collote. If that's the kind of thing you're trying for, make it true with ALL punctuation.

It's a tad emo, but not overly dramatic, so don't worry about it. It's good that you used small, simple words. Words are important to get across feeling, even though you wouldn't think that words can give a feel to something.

So, go over the punctuation, and that's it. ^.^