"Dark" twilight fans

[Captain Chemosh]

Probably the one thing that annoys me most right now are the preps that read twilight and then believe that they are dark. They ruin the image of real goths and emos, and worse yet is that it's driven on by the insufferable Hot Topic stores. News to the world, trip pants aren't Gothic or emo if you bought them in a place that preps also shop for their loli-clothes at (the white and bright colored clothes that display cartoon network characters on them) and don't even know what Lolita is in the first place. Furthermore, there is no historical or mythological basis for Twilight vampires for the following reasons.
1) Vampires don't glitter in sunlight, they disintegrate
2) Vampires don't feel emotion (side effect of being dead)
3) Vampires can ONLY drink HUMAN blood
4) Vampires can't enter a church, touch a cross, touch holy water, and a stake through the heart permanently kills them.
5) Vampires can kill other vampires
6) The power of Love only really works in Disney movies.  

[00Shoe]

I didn't even know about twilight until I watched that episode of south park.

Also you forgot a few points:

7) Vampires don't exist
8.) The classic version of a vampire is much different this the ridiculous Hollywood versions we have now  

[Dustin_Rose]

Ah the good old days, when all the monsters were created.

You remember, when the "undead" would crawl from their graves. Oh god not a zombie! ... Oh wait, it's ok folks. We just burried Norm alive again. Sorry Norm. I promise we'll just let you rot on the ground next time.

Ah the good old days with out technology. -sigh- I miss those days... wait I wasn't alive then. Damn what am I thinking?  

[LordStripeyTail]

00Shoe

I didn't even know about twilight until I watched that episode of south park.

Also you forgot a few points:

7) Vampires don't exist
8.) The classic version of a vampire is much different this the ridiculous Hollywood versions we have now

9.) Vampires can't cross running water. Good luck walking over a bridge.
10.) Vampires can't enter a building without being invited in by the head of the establishment. Whether it be the father of a family, or the freaking president. You can't go to your "dark friend's" house just because you want to. The leader of the house must let you in Even then, it's gotta be at night.
11.) Even being AWAKE during the day weakens you to the point of nearly falling into an entranced sleep on the spot.  

[Captain Chemosh]

good point fellows, we should compile this into a giant list...  

[The_Gadfly]

I laughed at rule # 6.