Horacio, the Fire Demon

[Thalasol]

I had received a great review on this story in the writing arena. To me tstill sounds like crap, but a 4.67 star average was pretty good I thought. Though, I have posted other things that sound better and are much newer this one just sems to appeal to more people. Hope you like it! And, if you don't, please tell me and especially tell my why of course. Oh, and this is not the entire prologue, just most of it.

Horacio, the Fire Demon (Click here to add your vote in the arena)

Horacio lay on the ground trembling covered in bruises and blood. He tried to stand up his legs collapsing under his weight catching himself, his hands on the ground his head drooped low as if he was bowing to his enemy. His torso and llimbs were as heavy as lead. Horacio tilted his head up staring at the man opposite of him as best he could.

The man's crimson hair slithered in the wind as he stare back at Horacio deep into his green eyes. The man's hand was drawn to a dagger at his side the second their eyes locked. His lips curled into a smile at the site of the "Great Horacio" on his knees before him.

Horacio tried once again to stand up exhausting all of his strength, his legs shook as if they were dying. He stood straight up taking a deep breath as if drawing into the deepest recess of his soul that was keeping him alive and his body stopped shaking. The man just watched and laughed full of mockery.

"Here's my last little trick." Horacio whispered and his eyes grew black his hair turned white and his skin seemed to become covered with scuttling black grains of sand. His skin caught fire enveloping his whole body and the flickering flame gave him the appearance of great wings. A yell burst from Horacio making the man flinch and the flames ripped from Horacio's body and shot out like a pheonix at his enemy. The man just stood and watched as the flames tore through him.

Wisps of smoke surrounded Horacio and he fell to the ground a smile playing across his face. As his body hit the ground pain shot through him from the impact centering around his heart as if the pain was seeking his most prercious item. He heard words being mumbled around him and he knew what had happened. The pain crawled away from his heart and out into the open eating through his skin and appearing as green tendrils of lightning, which numbed his body. Then all of his pain just faded away.

Blood now dripped from Horacio's mouth like honey. He could no longer move and now there was nothing to stop this man from his goal. Horacio closed his eyes and consoled himself with the thought of death.

"It's not going to be that easy for you!" The man said. "Don't you want to feel death?" The man seemed to snicker at some hidden joke. "Now you will live your death as you would have not lived your life. Without succes and with the death of all you hold dear." As he said this he took the knife he held in his hand and thrust it deep into Horacio.

Horacio felt as if he was falling, but all he could see was darkness. He had no last thoughts, no last wishes or regrets he just fell farther into the nothingess that surrounded him. He had failed and now he shall have to live with his consequences  

[Thalasol]

Ahh...! I misspelled the title and I don't know how to change it! ...Oh well...  

[Thalasol]

Nevermind, I figured it out. That just shows the benefits of a first class edumacation. Or... is it education? Ehh... Who cares!